2006-05-26

crowded house

now... that was a good band.

the crowded house in this heretofor context is my head.

here are the things i have been thinking about and things i wonder what you think about:

i'll preface this one by saying that i think about a lot of things that i don't actually do. this is sometimes a very good thing, and sometimes it is a very bad thing. sometimes i wish i could be judged by my intentions and other times, i thank God that i am not.

with that said, i have a good friend who is a straight single man who lives with a mutal friend who is lesbian. they are pregnant. together. they are great great people who i love. deeply. i know them well. better than i know some of you who read this here blog. i am so happy for them. a third mutual friend asked me to help host a babyshower for them. i think i might do it.

i'd be interested in hearing from you oh peanut gallery....

secondly,
i have been thinking about the giftings/leanings of church planting personalities. this requires a preface as well. if a church panter's context and desire is to reach people no one else it reaching b/c their too weird, too black, too gay, to far, too close, to loud, too awkward, too ugly- does that planter's gift set need to be different than a church plant that casts its net wide and is just your basic church for everyone and more mainstream? assuming that the answer is yes then my next question is:

is it more important for a planter in the above described context to have a emphasis/gifting to be on reaching and developing leaders (which this is where i think most people that plant land)? or is it more important for them to have developed mercy and evangelism giftings?

do the base set of gifts in a church planter need to exist no matter what the context?

please feel free to chime in on this one.

which leads me to the next logical thought in my non linear, random, stream of conciousness state... i kinda don't know what i think about church growth. don't get me wrong. i love me some people who didn't love Jesus, meeting Him and digging Him. sometimes i get bummed when i think about the kingdom being this utility machine. it makes me wanna barf honestly.


i got in a conversation just last night about something that i don't know the answer too.

if a vineyard distinctive is that they reach out to the least last and lost; do you think a church that is just your basic church can do that under typical circumstances? if a churches target is to reach a community, and hope in the process- they are sensitive to the needs of the least last and lost- i think that's possible and luckily i can think of a number of churches within thirty minustes of where i'm at right now- that expereince this as a norm.

however, what if you feel your concentration is specifically, to minister amongest people others are ignoring? i don't know that i believe that a church plant can serve the people everyone else is ignoring unless they favor efforts, programs, time, money, energies and relationships to the exclusion of other things that a geographically based church plant might spend their efforts, programs, time, money, energy and relationships.

does this make any sense? i totally know what i'm trying to ask- but i'm not sure i can get it all out the way i mean it.

i think the problem is that i am thinking about it like it's one or the other. but in defense of all the crap i tried to outline, i do think there is more to it than just, 'we can do church planting like we always do it' and expect to get an outcome to be different than it is now. the now being a dynamic movement of church plants that reach middle class ,disallushened white people, who like to think of themselves as progressive, like passionate worship, aren't scared of people that speak in tongues (but not if they do it too loudly). god forbid anything offends our sensibilites that are rooted in the fear of loss of priveledge, rights mongoring and comfort levels.

sorry.

i just lost it.

chewable vitamin:
"Oh wretched man that I am, who will deliver meFrom the body of this death
Can I even factor, that I've only been an actorIn this staged interpretation of this day
Focused on the shadow, with my back turned to the light
Too intelligent to see it's me in the wayWhat a paradox, having God trapped in a box
All this time professing to be spiritual
Naturally pretending, that I'm actually defendingGod thru my facade only material
Oh Jerusalem, wash thy heart from wickedness
That thou mayest be saved from thy deceptionHow long, shall thy vain thoughts lodge within thee
Oh Jerusalem, keeping thee from perfectionSubmit to truth, leave the deception of thy youth
So we could walk in the council of authorityForget the proof, a generations so aloof
Only followin' the steps of the majority
Trust in the Lord, with all thine heart
And lean not to thine own understanding in all thy ways
Acknowledge Him, and He shall correct thy paths
Be not wise in thine on eyes,
Or you can't follow Him
We judge and condemn, just as ignorant as them
Who religion tells us that we should ignorePerpetrating we're in covenant with Him
Exposed by the very things that we adore
We grin and shake hands, then lay ambush for the man
Who has a different point of view then usInfuriated cuz he doesn't understandBringing up those things we don't want to discuss
Why still do evil, when we don't know how to do good
Walking on in darkness running from the light, eyLed to believe, because we live in neighborhoodsTelling us what's going on will be alright
Oh so repressed, so convinced that I was blessedWhen I played with my game of monopoly
Oh to suggest, that my life is still a messWill reveal the pride I'm hiding is what's stopping me
Oh Jerusalem, wash thine heart from wickedness
That thou mayest be saved from thy deceptionHow long, shall thy vain thoughts lodge within thee
Oh Jerusalem providing you no protection.
Abide in Me and I in you, as the branch cannot bare...fruit of itself except in the vineI am the Vine, ye are the branches, He that live in Me and I in him, The same bring forth much fruitFor without me, you can do nothing
Oh Jerusalem, you're traditions have deceived youI've chosen you, you haven't chosen Me
Do whatsoever, you asking My Name He may give to youBut in vain they call My Name teaching doctrines just the same
Justified among themselves
But God know knoweth the heart, what man esteemed as smartIs an abomination to Emmanuel
Just repent, turn from selfish motivationSo iniquity will not cause your demise
Make you a new heart and a new spirit...for why would you die
Oh Jerusalem, please tell me why"

~ lauren hill

2006-05-16

i used the effword in here- but couldn't help it.


nora... eat her w/ spoon

i have a few things to say tonight.

it is a very good thing that phoenix kay has joined the world.
i very much look forward to meeting him.

i watched two segments of 60 minutes that were very compelling.

the first was coverage of andy stern and his efforts to revitalize labor unions in america. it was very interesting. i'd be interested to hear what the readership that are union members (or former members) have to say about it (read- jess abei). he proposes that labor unions are a practical way to move people out of poverty.

the second segment was on a charter school and a second reniassance happening in harlem. very kozol- very very cool. i was raised in a home where private education was scoffed at and home schoolers scorned. irregardless of being a daughter of a public school teacher- it seems most would agree that without drastic intervention- the underserved kids in urban settings today will be left by the wayside... again. no white child left behind you know...

which brings me to something i find myself often trying to work unnaturally into conversation... how christians involved or interested in community development should look into credit unions. thy kingdom come should not only lend immediate aid to alievate suffering in order to lessen it- but actually break cycles of poverty. responsible capatlisim, ethical lending/giving, and standards that work to preserve particpant's dignity are good things that can break the back of some of the demons that hold people in poverty.

i'm not going health and wealth on you my peeps.
i'm just sayin.

this has quickly turned into a rant. not my intention- but sometimes i can't help it.

i read something by dick durbin (d-il) where he quoted the oil revenue last year alone as some 110 bllion dollars. that was the same weekend i heard princess zulu speak on the response the the HIV/AIDS pandemic in africa. nearly seven thousand people die daily in africa due HIV/AIDS. that's not even to mention deaths due to preventable and treatable illnesses like malaria or others caused by lack of clean drinking water.

the diachotomy made me want to bash my head againest the wall. i'm sorry- but 110billion fucking dollars? it literally makes my stomach go into immediate non-cooperation. meanwhile (as princess zulu pointed out); i find room to complain about the cost of a gallon of gas. oye.

in closing- you should very much purchase this edition of the new rebublic. it will be a good account of our generation's passive and active role in the ongoing genocide in darfur for your grandchildren. will i be embarassed to share my story with my grandchilden? God have mercy on me- i hope not.


2006-05-09

home ownership

this is us...

very happy.






b/c we found this...




this is our new house

it is close to kirsten's. i'm too paranoid to write the address.

to say that my life has exceeded my very best expectations and dreams is an understatement. God has been very generous to me. and this would be true even if i didn't have some of the bells and whistles of life.

i don't think i could of imagined a time in my life where people would actually fend for my business- especially considering when that business is loaning you thousands of dollars. it is weird to be trusted. good. but weird.