2007 recap

highlights, lowlights and middlelights.

january:

constance.

what can i say about constance ebelechukwu? here's a pic that describes what has happened since she arrived:



i cannot say how my heart has grown this past year. when i think about my heart in 2006 and what the gift of our daughter's presence has done to my heart in 2007- it seriously seems to me that my heart was teeny tiny and now might outgrow the physical confines of my body b/c of this kid.

constance has been a wonderful blessed addition to our family. she is laid back, inquisitive, an observer and insanely gorgeous. she trips over her eyelashes and loves to sing and dance. she truly seems to have a wonderful mix of both charles and me. she also seems to have been given our tenacity/stubbornness (depending on which side of redemption you look at it).

here are some of my more favorite pics:


this one doesn't need a caption...




our igbo woman

february:

snow boobs.

there are no pics on this one. all i remember about february was that it snowed a lot and my boobs hurt. and i barely slept. kinda all a blur.

march:

good riddens.

march- i was still on maternity leave and found out over lunch w/ my boss that my job had been 'eliminated'. which was fine all the same- b/c i would of preferred a dull blade to dig our my finger nails to return to work there after maternity leave. my time there was tenuous but purposeful. it was also very very stressful with the regular fifty five to sixty hour week throughout my pregnancy.

in twelve step literature there are a series of promises or guarantees for those that work all twelve of the steps in their day to day lives. one that sums up this experience is that 'God does for us what we could not do for ourselves...' we (as a couple) could never have agreed for me to leave that job for a variety of reasons- but being fired allowed me to part ways (albeit not on my terms- but good terms nonetheless) and collect- UNEMPLOYMENT WAGES. the nine months that ensued have been spent getting to know constance which has been a blessing!

april:

sold the fox



for the second time in our married life- we became a one car family. and why not? i didn't have to goto work and gas prices began their dreadful ascent.

i also discovered my love affair w/ power washers.

may:

i had a second breast cyst removed this month and planted our first garden and did lots of landscaping and shaping here at 937. the cyst was somewhat stressful- but not nearly so w/ the first time i got one and required a biopsy and all that rigmarole.

so... the garden-





the immortal eyonomous i tried to kill- but am now glad is still alive.

i cut this down to the stump in april and these are the pictures of it in july. my sister-in-law says it is a manhattan euonymus that attracts house flies. lucky us. she adviced that i leave it for another year and see what happens.


tomato representin'! early in the season w/ disappointing yield.

i also did two types of oregano, basil, rosemary, broccoli, peppers st. john's wort all of which did really well. my composting is finally paying off.

the broccoli did well. three plants total. we had a little bunny who often devoured it's fruits. charles kept threatening to shoot and eat the little bunny bastard- but didn't. i was both relieved and disappointed at the same time.

i have had a sorted history with plants. i love them- but mostly i am good at killing them. i have recently thought about doing the master gardener program through ohio state extension. the typical demographic for this program are retirees. i don't know weather to laugh or cry.

i almost killed the st john's wort but it was ressurected and eventually flourished. i did manage to kill a rose bush this summer. i don't want to dig it our prematurely- we'll see what next year holds. maybe it will be resurrected as well- but i have a feeling the rose bush is just a bitch diva.

i have a three stage landscaping plan for the back yard. it is in stages b/c we're on a tight budget. maybe sometime i'll post my drawings of the plan.

june:

• dedication. i already wrote and posted pics about this huge event. it was a wonderful day and instilled in me a gratitude for the privilege and responsibility to be a parent!
• we also went to boston for a brief vacation.
• my mom also had her shoulder replaced. this was quite a big ordeal- and she was a trooper! she is recovering well. she has rheumatoid arthritis and it looks like she will need replacement for her other shoulder. stink!

july:

the most notable thing that happened this month was a visit from my brother's family.
that's all i got on july.

august:

• my next step vocationally was solidified this month when i decided to get my certificate to teach kids with special needs.

september:

• i couldn't think of anything notable for september.

october:

nigeria.



one thing that i have not written about nigeria is how much we grew as a married couple because of this trip. i have said to a couple of friends that i kept thinking throughout the trip about that passage of scripture from ruth ' your people will be my people; where you will stay i will stay; where you will die i will die'...

having a baby with charles made me fall in love with him at a new level- but seeing him in nigeria was so good for me and our marriage. the romanticism of 'PLANTING a CHURCH in LAGOS' (if i had teddy bear icons and kisses i would put them here)- is gone. instead i have an abiding sense, conviction and burden to the life work that we have to nigeria both while we're here and when we live there.

november:


my first turkey. i brined it and it was good.



someone was sick in our house pretty much everyday in november. first me- then constance, then charles. i hate being sick. we also didn't have a computer during november. and my unemployment benefits ran dry.

regardless of these downers- we did have a great thanksgiving and managed to get some nice pics.

december:

• i began working three days a week for a friend cleaning houses ) which you may of read about our adventures in previous posts).
• i finished christmas shopping the earliest ever (mainly b/c i did most of it in nigeria).
• i found a job that i am hopeful is an answer to prayer!

overall

we have so much to be grateful for! last years favorite phrase (MAKE SWEET SWEET LOVE) varies greatly from this year's favorite phrase (UNEMPLOYMENT WAGES). it has been a year of blessing and love all the same! we are very grateful!

other favorites include:

favorite book: runaway bunny
favorite song: what a merciful god (our lullaby)
favorite authors i discovered: miroslav volf and joan chittister

the cult of mac

i found this hilarious. hope you like it too.

38 things i love about charles

1. his smile
2. his heart for jesus
3. his heart for constance
4. his heart for me
5. how he loves his mom.
6. how he loves my mom.
7. how he attempts to use american english idioms.
8. how his first response to nearly any quandary is to pray.
9. that he looks more like 28 than 38.
10. that he has a burden for african americans and respects their experience here in our country(which can be rare in africans).
11. how he is indiscriminate when it comes to things i pass off as a matter of 'taste' when it comes to church. i've not heard him say he prefers one preacher over another or one worship leader over another. he just affirms that they are his brother/sister and have the Spirit of God and says that's what matters.
12. how he says often when the topic of my dad comes up, 'i can't wait to meet him'
13. how he sings when he's doing chores around the house or shaving.
14. his generosity.
15. his view of the purpose of money.
16. his ability to articulate the less than respectful views that americans sometime hold about africa.
17. his sense of justice; the longing for the 'not yet'
18. but also that he moves to act justly NOW.
19. his love for mercy for people that might be invisible to me.
20. how thorough he is when he cleans things around the house.
21. how he affirmed me throughout my pregnancy with constance.
22. that he loves doing constance's hair.
23. he is a very hard worker.
24. how interesting he is to talk to about nearly any topic.
25. how book smart he is.
26. how easy he is to please with christmas gifts/gifts in general.
27. his genuine desire to make me happy.
28. the role he plays in his family as a peacemaker- whose not scared of conflict but diffuses situations that might otherwise be combustible.
29. how he dances for constance to make her laugh.
30. how he dances for me to make me laugh.
31. that he love nigeria even though many people loose their love after immigrating to america.
32. that he's committed to providing for our family.
33. his butt.
34. how he can fall asleep almost anywhere within a minute.
35. he doesn't know how to be cynical.
    
36. how committed he is to grow spiritually and intellectually as an individual.
37. how committed he is for our marriage to grow in these same ways.
38. the friend he is to me and many!

h a p p y

b i r t h d a y

c h a r l e s

i l o v e y o u!

christmas wish list

maybe you can relate to this...

• hold husband responsible to know what i need or want through mind reading and e.s.p.
• fault husband when and claim it is unromantic when you have to tell him what you want or need.

so... i love surprises. but b/c i have a huge affinity and propensity to resentment; as a couple have had to alter some of our strategies in gift giving. basically, i make charles a list of things that he could hit a homerun (pun intended) with if he gave it to me as a gift. this does not make charles less of a good husband. in fact, the more i live with myself; the more i realize that it makes him a good husband b/c he forebears with this high(er) maintance neurotic thing in my personality.

typically, we get try to make a bigger deal of birthdays and keep christmas more simple. later this week- i'll tell you what i got for charles' birthday (he turns 38 on the 22nd).

here we go:


i like these mundi crossses.

prayer book

anything from this store

any of the prints from this artist that i saw at winterfair...



nothings say as i love you like shopvacs...
every girl needs a powerdrill and a shopvac

in other news, constance had her first projectile vomit yesterday. in the car. all over her car seat. and herself. and me. you wouldn't think an 18lbs infant could store that much liquid/runny stuff- but alas- she can! all is well. my verdict is that she was overheated in this cocoon type thing we use in her car seat. but we've error-ed on the cautious side and stuck to porridge and bananas.

the victory here is that i didn not puke when she puked. i've heard of this phenomena (being immune to your own kids puke); but b/c i've suffered for years from domino effect puking disorder (DPD)- i was skeptical. i had hints that i had been healed of DPD after both buckley boys puked on me (or in my immediate vicinity) on separate occasions.

i made a little purchase of my own this weekend. my palm pilot died last year and i've gone back to keeping track of things and scheduling with old fashioned paper and pen. therefore the coming year requires i be prepared. i got one of these and have loved it this year- so i got another!

miscellany

we went to a nice potluck event last weekend. the monthly meeting is organized by a group called 'interracial families in friendship'. while most of the families are interracial by adoption; it was still encouraging to see others that had a different family setting than most. i look forward to going again and am excited for the prospect of constance having some playmates that have a different racial makeup.

i have an a couple of irons in the fire employment wise that appear hopeful. most encouraging is arise.com which is a third party customer service agency for barnes and noble. please pray that something would materialize soon that would be schedule sensitive and profitable.

some other things to note are:

• if i haven't mentioned this already- the new cutest thing ever that constance does is nurse while sitting down.
• can someone confirm that alec baldwin is the voice on thomas the tank engine? what a weird repertoire. thomas and thirty rock. odd.
• constance is officially crawling- although it is very slow and methodical.
  

FABULOSO!!!! i'm a bigot

well i've had this job a week and i think it might be the end of me. it gives an immediate solution to the immediate challenge to our cash flow 'issues'- so i know i'm supposed to be grateful. i worked for this woman throughout college- but i'd forgotten how weird cleaning other people's crapola can be. i've also forgotten the interesting and varied demographic that this woman tends to employ. i must of asked myself half a dozen times a day what the hell i'm doing working this job.

have you ever had a flood of self knowledge take you off guard? that's what has happened this week. in this brief time i have seen some beliefs that i hold that i believe offend Jesus. it is sobering to get to know yourself at a new level.

first- our clients. for starters, it seems that our clientel are wealthy folk. we clean thoughout the city- but have many jobs are at all these new build condos; miranova, the dakota, jeffery place. apparently, being rich does not exempt you from the ability to be completely disgusting. rich men cannot aim their urine any better than poor ones. the hair in the shower drain? don't get me started. balding and hair loss don't discriminate. and neither does the inability to clean your own damn shower drain.

i haven't even gotten to my co-workers... oye. ironically, this job has revealed some deep seated prejudices that i have held. when i worked for this woman when i first got sober and had started to know Jesus; i came as a full blown bigot. i knew pretty quickly that Jesus didn't like the way i made fun of gay people. i guess you could say i was a gay basher. but i quickly knew it didn't sync w/ Jesus. i knew this b/c i actually became friends w/ the guys i cleaned with who were all gay. it's hard to make fun of a group of people when you get to make friends with people from that group. the Lord began to give me His heart for gay people.

since that time i have 'evolved' and rationalized other types of prejudices i have against different people. luckily; the Lord has put me in regular contact with my hold out groups. i gasp at people's ignorance when they say things about gay people, or black people or jewish people.

i have plenty of ignorant ideas of my own that i have rationalized and God has been asking me to turn from. i snidely laugh at my clever remarks about thomas kinkade, precious moments, the (not so) tasteful use of gingham, the use of double negatives, and chewing tobacco among women coworkers. i wrongly attach value to the excess or lack of money and education.

i can only pray that God continues to have mercy on me and give me- ever so slowly a heart for more of the people He loves and cares for so deeply. i still have a lot of stone in my heart. in the same breath- i would like to learn my lesson and move on.

on a lighter note- some other things i have learned are:

• FABULOSO! is my new favorite product.
• soft scrub works great on electric flat stove tops.
• i tried a dyson- i'm sorry to report that it was very anticlimactic and it did not change my life.

stank!

i don't like not having a computer at home. i'm at the library and felt compelled to let you all know that i'm alive. i mean... if anyone still reads this. here's the thing- i have a lot to write about. for starters, i successfully roasted my first thanksgiving turkey.

it was also the first time i hosted the festivities. we had another nigerian family over and somehow- that took alot of the percieved pressure (that normally keeps me from doing those types of things) off. so if you're ever nervous about hosting something- take my advice. invite foriegners. they are very gracious.

i took pictures of the bird and named him in honor of my dad. ROGER. this is part of a long standing tradition to name our turkeys. normally- they are biblical and normally- they are male and patriarcial- moses, samson and the like. i know most dad's might be offended to have a turkey named after them; but not my dad. i bet he was honored. i brined the turkey for god's sake. it was beautiful.

in other news- i started a part time/ temporary job. yesterday was my first day. i work with four gay guys who chain smoke and listen to vintage madonna all day. no joke. we cleaned the church rectory today at the parish where all my friends went to growing up. it made me nostalgic for all the hell we used to raise there as children. it was also ironic. a bunch of gay guys who don't feel welcomed by THE CHURCH end up cleaning up after the gross monsinger.

one thing about my life- is that it is seldom- if ever- dull.

more later. please pray that our computer gets healed.

home!

we arrived home safely last evening. i will continue to blog about the trip for the coming week at the 2million prayers blog. then will resume to 'normal blogging' here sometime afterwards. just wanted to alert you of our arrival!

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come look at some pics

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meet me over here

i will attempt to keep an account of our time in nigeria on this new blog. i don't know what kind of access to the internet we will have- but my hope is to post throughout our trip!

if you're not a central vineyard columbusite- than i will make you aware of agreat adventure blog from our friend john mccollum. he and his son are in southeast asia working to establish more orphanages with asia's hope.

summer recap 2007

here's a summary of our summer. the last two summers seem to have been particularly full and hectic. but i wouldn't trade them for anything.

dedication


me, charles, constance (note her rhinestone paton leather shoes), jennifer and my mom

this was our highlight of our summer. in early june- we dedicated constance at church. my sister in law who lives in nyc came in and brought felicia (her best friend) and felicia's son c.j. we had nigerian friends here in town attend as well as other friends from different parts of west africa. then, of course were all our peeps at church. it was a very sweet and tender day and i get teary just thinking about how meaningful and special it was to me.

we hosted a party afterwards complete with nigerian food. we had jallaf rice, goat , stew, plantains and other things i forget. jennifer and felicia did all the cooking which was incredible and so helpful. i remember being awakened at 4am that morning to the sound of clevers on cutting boards as they prepared the meat for the stews. needless to say- it was quite a celebration.

dates:

more recently we've addressed our famine in our dating life. we have done a kid swap with a friend and charles and i have spent lots of good time over coffee talking and enjoying eachother. being home full time and having charles' work schedule has made for more time together than we're used to- but somehow we don't get away and chill together. i'm very grateful for the chance to be alone with charles and talk and chat and ask questions. charles is seriously one of the most interesting and intriguing people i've ever met! i love hearing his perspective and stories.

boston



we went to boston for a couple of days courtesy of skybus. we stayed with friends kyla and michael who were so helpful to us during our engagement. we had a great time at the beach and met up with friends nelson and nkem who live in revere. we did a lot of resting and talking and connecting. it was wonderful.

cousin visit

my brother's family came in early july. we don't get to see those guys enough- but they're a ton of fun and we love them. the kids are all growing and it's so great to see their personalities evolve. i really respect my sister-in-law and brother's parenting and this year- i saw it w/ new eyes being a new parent myself. aidan just started fourth grade, jack second, maggie kindgergaren and sweet sweet nora another year at preschool. LUV those guys!

vocation decisions

we have continued to pray and consider what i should do about a job. at this point the plan is for me to enroll in a licensure program to teach in january 2008. charles will continue to prep for his gre and apply for his phd program in educational psychology. in the meantime, we continue to pray that God would provide income for me that would allow me to work part time from home. this is all i know at this point. the unknown is un-nerving- but whatcha gonna do? it would be so nice if the Lord showed us the next fifteen steps of life... but alas- He only seems to show us the next thing to do. probably a good thing- i'd have an anxiety attack otherwise.

summer conference

we had a conference here in columbus for 2million prayers for nigeria. it was pretty great. it reminded me of how little faith i have. the Lord exceeded my meager and embarrassing expectations. our mostly anglo church represented well which made me feel so loved and like people 'get' my husband and how freagin awesome he is... which most women i know will tell you your love factor goes up in their book when you love and respect her husband. there were two nigerian pastors that spoke and our pastor as well. we met a number of other nigerians and our friendship with overcomers (a nigerian church here in town) grew. one very cool thing to note is the traditional ethnic strife between tribes has been taken head on. i love that from a ground level there is partnership between people groups who histrionically have suspicion as the norm and instead have cooperation and encouragement as the norm.

buckeye village:



i have spent an unusual amount of time at buckeye village this summer. this where many teaching assistants and gradute students live at ohio state. it is the refuge camp of residence life. the conditions are pretty meager. as a church, we have a heart to serve residents in practical ways. buckeye village is a stone's throw from our church and in our neighborhood. we've spent many a saturday doing prayer walks, weeding garden plots and handing out school supplies to the kids. our kinship will start hosting a potluck there each month. good stuff.

i think everyone needs opportunities to at least feel like a foreigner (but preferably be a foreigner) and feel stupid and pronounce mandarin incorrectly. i've been taught the word for basil, garlic, and lettuce and butchered them completely- but to the delight of my teachers who seem thrilled i even bothered.

trip prep

our big news this summer has been that we booked tickets to goto nigeria in october. we have been busily preparing and cannot wait to arrive and be with our family! this will be my first time there and constance is the first grandchild on charles' side of the family. so it will be quiet a big deal to be there. we will be doing a conference for 2MPFN similar to the one we held in early august here in columbus. we will be solely in lagos and don't plan to travel this trip to charles' father's village. i am both thrilled and terrified about the trip. more to come on the trip soon.

constance

constance is doing great! she's growing and started eating solids this summer right at the six month mark. she likes pretty much everything i've given her. i'm using that super baby food book and like most first time moms- i'm very by the book. i never thought i'd be one of 'those' moms that was semi neurotic and vigilent and makes home made baby food to boot. but it somehow happened. i'm basically martha stewart.

she's still a little peanut wieghing about 15lbs. she still loves nursing (as do i) and can sit up well. she isn't super wiggily or discontent not being able to move more but being on her stomach is more bearable.

her disposition is very easy. she's laid back and very pleasent pretty most of the time. she seems to like to sing- which is so funny. she needs time to warm up to most people and still seems to flirt with boys. literally, i've seen her tuck her chin into her little chest and bat her eye lashes. oye. give this fifteen years and we might have some problems. she particularly seems to like people that are darker complected.

we got a old school johnny jump up (i think that's what it is called) which provides hours of entertainment. constance loves it and it s a great way to have her with me in the kitchen and make her happy while expending energy. we've spent most of the summer watching her do this to date. constance stopped her passifier and doesn't want a bottle anymore. we've moved to a sippy and it's not going so well. but i figure she'll get the hang of it sometime. here's a shot of her:

her sleep has been a bit stressful. she's moved out of that super flexible stage of sleep and takes some time to rebound if she misses a nap. the big news in this arena is that we no longer swaddle her. it was a bit of a traumatic transistion and i'm glad we're past it. this was the first move i made where i knowingly caved due to motherpressure. while the close tight swaddle used to be comforting; now- we're pulling out all the stops. she's got beatrice the bear (who is the same size as constance). this was my mom's contribution (god love her). then there's blanky. i'm hoping that the blanky attachment isn't pattern dependent. if it is- i'm screwed. i've just been switching out these amy coe flannels. we'll see.

this is all in efforts to help her 'self soothe'. the most effective tool for that is not beatrice or the blanky. constance loves her hair. and just lays on her back in the crib with her hands just above her temples and rubs her hair. and who can blame the kid? she does have some pretty great hair. when she does it- i seriously get weak kneed with oochy gooshy love. i've actually began to stroke her hair to soothe myself. it works pretty well for me too.

speaking of oochy gooshy love- i still fight the urge daily to give her hickies or eat her. people can tell you, 'marriage is hard work' or 'being in love is wonderful' or 'the love for your kids is indescribable'- but i guess you can't know- until you know! what a wonderful surprise!

this was a long post... thanks for reading and here's to a wonderful autumn!

chewable vitamin

Lukewarm acceptance is more bewildering than outright rejection.” : dr. m.l. king

the jena six prayer vigil

i heard about the situation in jena lousiana some time ago. the story; which labeled the case as a hate crime- sticks out in my mind b/c it's not often you hear about hate crimes committed by black people. i have only recently become aware of the context in which this story has unfolded and escalated (thank you chelsea).

there will be a prayer vigil wednesday night september 19th from 6pm-7pm at clinton como park.

we're calling it the "i am only one, but i am one... vigil" this is a portion of a quote by edward hale. i feel responsible to do SOMETHING in light of the things i have learned and i won't (as the quote says) let what i cannot do stand in the way of what i can do.

i can pray. and the world can be changed when we ask God to do it. and man- does our world need changed! hope you can come so we can do something about jena lousinana together.

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here are some links to visit that outline the situation in jena:

• timeline of events
• wikipedia entry (describing the case)
• recent npr commentarytimeline
• color of change
• naacp petition
• petition to the u.s. justice department

chewable vitamin

"liberty means responsibility. that is why most men dread it." ~ george bernard shaw

soundbite wateland

it sobers me that the only coverage accessible to me on general petraeus' testimony is carried on a non american radio program. the whole thing is pretty effed up if you ask me. good thing they didn't cut into guiding light.

immigration advocacy

i have been following a story that the columbus dispatch covered about a family from liberia who may be split up b/c of deportation. i thought i would link to the articles.

article 1
article 2
article 3

if you're so inclined; write these congress people and ask that they intervene on behalf on sunny and bernice bryant:

senator sherrod brown
u.s. representative steve chabot

i don't know this family- but it sounds like they have been caught up into the worst of the immigration system's bureaucratic jaws. the immigration process for our family has been an eye opener of how involved, expensive and scary maintaining legal status and adhering to the law while being self sustaining can be... i really empathize with this family's situation. i am glad i can take some kind of action on their behalf.

a guest post from charles

our dear friend jess emailed charles to participate in this 'meme' phenomena. here is his response.
.......................................
RULES:

1. You can only say Yes or No!
2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages you and asks!
3. Tag 5 people to complete the survey!

Danced in front of your mirror naked? Yes

Ever told a lie? Yes

Had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back? Yes

Kissed someone of the same sex? No

Kissed a picture? Yes

Slept in until 5 PM? No

Had sex at work? No

Fallen asleep at work/school? Yes

Held a snake? Yes

Ran a red light? Yes

Been suspended from school? Yes

Totaled your car/motorbike in an accident? Yes

Been fired from a job? Yes

Sang karaoke? Yes

Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t? Yes

Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Yes

Caught a snowflake on your tongue? No

Kissed in the rain? Yes

Sang in the shower? Yes

Gave your private parts a nickname? Yes

Sat on a roof top? Yes

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? Yes

Broken a bone? Yes

Shaved your head? Yes

Slept naked? Yes

Blacked out from drinking? No

Played a prank on someone? Yes

Had a gym membership? Yes

Felt like killing someone? Yes

Made your girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse cry? Yes

Cried over someone you were in love with? Yes

Had sex more than 4 times in one day? Yes

Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? No

Been in a band? Yes

Subscribed to Maxim? No

Tripped on mushrooms? No

Donated Blood? No

Video taped yourself having sex? No

Eaten alligator meat? Yes

Eaten cheesecake? Yes

Still love someone you shouldn’t? No

Have a tattoo? No

Hey Jess thanks for encouraging to start a blog: I will think about it, I kind of feel it is a lot of work, but just may be, I will give it a try.

chewable vitamin

"revelation usually begins, by God revealing us to ourselves. only then does God reveal the Divine self to us... coming to know and trust God's love is a life- long process. making this knowledge the foundation of our identity- or better, allowing our identity to be re-formed around this most basic fact of our existence- will also never happen instantly. both lie at the core of the spiritual transformation that is the intended outcome of christ- following."
: david benner

employment hunt update

i thought i'd mention some jobs leads that i am excited about- especially considering that i have not been excited about many job opportunities i've come across...

• youth development job w/ osu extension at indianolia middle school.
• community development analyst with the state of ohio.
• civil rights investigator w/ the state.
• voter's right investigator w/ the state.
• 'vip desk' concierge for rich people.
• help international student's navigate ohio state
  

in an ideal world of a family that needs two incomes; i am in search of a position that i can do from home. but like many of you, my spam box is full of how to add inches to my penis, cialias and work from home jobs that require $2K upfront for some dubious venture.

so, if any of you know of legitimate businesses that offer work from home opportunities- let me know. i created a website specifically for the work from home setting b/c it seems like a more difficult niche to find. here's the link.

media morsels

i doubt i can tire of this commercial. it will always seem to make me smile.

have you discovered fair game? i don't know when it began; but it just became available here in columbus within the last year. i'm hooked! listen to this great parody on the resignation of karl rove.

six years and the eye of the tiger...

my dad died six years ago today. loosing him so progressively and arduously was the most difficult thing i've done to date. his loss has gotten easier- but it surprises me that not a day goes by that i don't think about him. i miss him very much.

it blows my mind is that he never got a chance to meet and know charles. he would adore charles. and that's not even to mention constance. he's never met constance. that is so crazy to me! i have no biblical support for this but i like to think that my dad met her in heaven when she was being 'formed in my womb'. i also like to think that he sees me and my life and sees charles and how good he is to me and is somewhat proud. but enough of my amateur theology/over active imagination.

i remember the last month of my dad's life vividly and i'm grateful. i am so grateful that i had a chance to be here in columbus with him over the course of the year that he declined and got to know him better and say the things that i needed to him. our context was a bit of a mixed bag- mostly b/c i was a complete brat from the ages of 14 to 24. but i am so grateful that i was able to grow up a little and let him see me settle into a bit of responsible adulthood. i'm grateful that i was able to laugh w/ him over that last year and cry with him and yell at him and hold his hand and pray for him and be with him.

eye of the tiger...
this is one of my fondest memories of my dad. when i was little, i looked up to my older brother very much. he was a runner and i wanted to be a runner too. so, in second grade- i decided i was going to do our hometown's halloween tradition- the pumpkin run. i started training for the 3K race diligently. although to train, i had to go outside the boundaries approved by my mom and dad (which was not far at all- i think it was the alley that ran in back of our house down, elmwood- the westwood and ofcourse- bluff (our street)). so my dad agreed to help me train. i know you'd all be surprised to hear this (* cough *)- but i was a very zealous kid. i took this training very seriously. infact, i made sweat bands for myself and decorated them ala olivia newton john. seriously. i was dedicated.

each night he'd get on this ten speed that was too small for him and ride around with an old school ghetto blaster (although it was not old school at the time- it was state of the art) and play "the eye of the tiger song" for me as i ran. i can't remember who's idea it was- his or mine. but he definitely made the loop tape for me playing it over, and over and over again. that is one of my favorite memories of my dad. i love him so much!

i totally believe that there are generational curses that can be passed down within families. but you don't hear very much about the generational blessings. i know for sure that my dad's choices put me in line to receive some generational blessings. i have this very distinct memory of my poppy sullivan watching a soccer game at our house. i was in the family room w/ him. as poppy was yelling at the tv he was using all kinds of racial slurs. as he did this, my dad bee lined to his dad and said something to the effect of, 'never talk like that in my house again and don't do it in front of my kids either'. i could tell he was pissed and i could tell he was nervous sticking up to his dad too. but he did and i'm grateful. it left a deep impression on me.

there are a hand full of you that knew him and only a couple that knew him well. i wish you all could of known him. he told stupid jokes, was enormously intelligent, introverted, open minded, proud to be irish, aware of his frailties and terribly interesting. he taught chess to kids in the hood, contracted for the 'intelligence services', loved patrick o'brien, and couldn't hold a tune to save his life. but he would belt out these hymns and talk about the prisoners he worked with and the Jesus that he loved like no one else i know. he couldn't sit through a church service b/c of his chain smoking and often cussed like a sailor. i think you would've liked him.

five books i want you to read and why...

this book is written by holocaust survivor and psychoanalyst viktor frankl. basically if you read this book- you might think twice about bitching about your lfe. frankl's gift to me is that he leaves the outcome of terrible circumstances to the response of the recipient. maybe it will be a gift to you too. he is a quintessential example of a man who owned his choices in life- namely his choice to choose his response to horrendous circumstances.




we have two stashes of books in our house for regular give away. the bible and this book. while the bible is sacred- this book is not. but it is real, and makes the Jesus i know and love approachable to those who might not consider themselves 'fit' to be christians.





a quick easy read by church growth phenom peter wagner from fuller. this is an account/compilation of different evangelicals from nigerian and their role in the spread of the Kingdom in the 20th century.




solid theology does the heart good and that is what ladd does for the contemporary church and more specifically me. this helped put words to my evolving understanding that the Gospel was not simply a message or a four point outline of the new testament. quickens my heart to see Jesus rule here on earth soon!



this is foster at his best (imho). originally release under the title, money sex and power; this book talks about... money sex and power. this is particularly good book for people that are married, engaged or seriously dating.

chewable vitamin

"the good news of the gospel is that the longing for home need not be merely nostalgic. home is not just a real or imagined memory. home is also a promise made by God to His people... as much as this is a promise for the future, it is not only for the future...this is a promise that involves the body as well as the soul. the christian community is not a spiritual club; it is a household, God's own household, whose very sacraments are physical acts evocative of home: a bath and a meal.

a well kept house thus possesses a kind of sacramental quality. it is no substitute for either the kingdom of God or the church. but it is a kind of foretaste of the kingdom. a nurturing and hospitable home can be a reminder that God has always been in the business of making a home for people, that God desires that people should have the food and clothing and shelter associated with home, that one day out tattered and partial provision of these things for one another will be gloriously supplanted by God's perfect provision..."

: margaret kim peterson

these are a view of my favorite things

prunners

these are my old school prunners. i love them b/c they are old school. you can disassemble them and oil them all up and clean them.


shoes

these are my summer shoes. i wear them mostly in the summer. i bleach them often and it doesn't kill them. i have had them for about fifteen years.



mop

i have a whole theory on mops as cash cows. it is a whole post in and of itself. no joke. i have a whole theology of the mop going on.

simple thrills people...
simple thrills.

cliff note okonkwo plus link bonus

here are some links i found that i wanted to post b/c i think they are funny, worthwhile, or both.

• africa action
• women changing zimbabwe. listen to npr coverage here.
• a picture of your pockets.
• find some junk and make a magazine
• rude notes from passive aggressive or aggressive aggressive people.
• public spaces in neighborhoods.
• ban comic sans
• the micah challenge
• africa faith and justice network

as for constance, she continues to do wonderfully. she is getting more and more hair that doesn't seem to add in length only density. she is a thrill and keeps us laughing with her flirting (chin tucked snugly in chest while batting lashes- no joke), her squealing, ability to follow along vaguely to singing and of course- her smile that melts our hearts. she also continues to grab her hair, roll over and is working daily with her father doing 'exercises' to sit up. i think next month charles may enroll her to take the MCAT. we will see.

here are some more pics


big girl loves the swing.


on daddy's back in the wrapper.


practicing sitting up.

her joy in singing has allowed me to perfect my own version of opera man.

all in all things are well here at cas del okonkwo.

ideas of old

well. i'm thinking about going back to school. this is my annual revisitation of the issue. which got me thinking about other ideas that have come down the pike of my mind over the years. i thought i'd catalog them here...

the following are some different things that i have considered pretty seriously over the last five years. some are life direction things (like teaching) and others fall under project or hobby type things.

be a foreign service officer.
what happened: i got the book to study and applied to take it. then i realized that i would have to tow the party line of whomever occupied the whitehouse. i'm still too idealistic to be able to feel good about myself and do it.

get my master's in education.
what happened: i applied to notre dame and seton hall and didn't get in.

submit an episode to this american life.
what happened: i just didn't do it. i sketched out three scenes on predators- mostly predatory lending at j.d. byryders and check cashing places. i also sketched out some scenes on diaspora. this included migration and was sparked by all the somalis settling in columbus. i also wanted to do stories on nomads that would include hobos- b/c we all know hobos are awesome.

get my master's in architecture.
what happened: this was in response to doing free/reduced lunch work in the projects here in columbus. i wanted to make affordable housing for the poor that was aesthetically pleasing and smart. i began the process to apply to the a three years master's program for folks who had other degrees outside of architecture. the project included a memory map of my time in new york city. i got the application and the portfolio requirements and spent about three months on some study sketches but it ended there.

pitch a position to work for common good strategies.
what happened: i made a website using wordpress and in the meantime read david kuo's tempting faith. it made me rethink my specific role in influencing how folks care for the poor.

pitch a position to be a research assistant for fred anderle.
what happened: i did this and am still waiting to hear the results. for those of you who don't know; fred is the host of a radio show on the a.m. npr affiliate here in columbus and i really love how he facilitates fair discussion on lots of different issues.

one low grade fear i have is that i would be perceived by others as flaky. so don't crack on me for being flaky b/c it will hurt my feelings. all that to say, i think i am a bit scared of going to school b/c i'm scared i will fail. this coming from me; who is fond of saying failure gets a bad rap. but then again, i also rip off the saying from program that it's none of my business what others think of me.

here's the thing- i'm thinking about going back to school to teach special needs kids. i figure if i have to go back to work- i might as well do something i find meaningful and has the potential to provide a fair income while charles works on his phd. in addition; i want whatever skill i am trained in to have an application that is practical in nigeria. from what i hear, special needs folks don't have a many schooling opportunities in lagos and are largely forgotten- so that has played a role in choosing that field.

i would love to eventually be certified to teach art (which is my undergraduate degree); but for now, pragmatism will win out. i am fairly sure that teaching art is a much narrower and tougher route to employment.

anyways, so it is my goal to do one thing daily towards this goal. perhaps breaking it down will make it more doable for me.

it's funny- when i think of parenting constance; i have no problem dissuading her from a broad liberal arts degree should she choose to goto college. i'm all about having our kids be plumbers, nurses, mechanics, engineers or accountants. i don't want any of them to relive the frustration i've had professionally. none of this philosophy of art or balkan literature of the 19th century bit.

chewable vitamin

"my africa is rich in human resources and dignity, i get insulted when i see only images of our dying, our wars, our Darfur, our AIDS victims... not our doctors, our nurses, our teachers... africa must find it's own saviors: the salvation of africa is in the hands of African women."

: iman abdulmajid

noteworthy

this edition of vanity fair is wonderful and i hope that many folks are able to get it and hear a more holistic news about africa. charles actually thinks the articles give a fair portrait of the variety of the continent. which for those of you that know charles- that is saying a lot. i guess it doesn't smack of condensation. there's actually pictures of people going to work (gasp). i would guess it has something to do with bono as the first guest editor.

chewable vitamin

"it is good to learn early enough that suffering and God are not a contradiction but rather a unity, for the idea that God himself is suffering is one that has already been one of the most convincing teachings of Christianity. i think God is nearer to suffering than to happiness, and to find God in this way gives peace and rest and a strong courageous heart." :: dietrich bonhoffer

chewable vitamin

"shalom in a special way is the task and burden of the well- off and powerful. they are the ones held accountable for shalom. the prophets persistently criticized and polemicised against those well-off and powerful ones who legitimized their selfish prosperity and deceived themselves into thinking it was permanent. the prophetic vision of shalom stands against all private arrangements, all 'separate peaces,' all ghettos that pretend the others are not there."
: walter brueggemann

questions

this is a link to an article that made me sad.

as if the norm for women in the sex industry is home ownership and higher education.
as if those 'accomplishments' are even the real issue.

pretty sure that america's consciousness has been so dulled by a spirit over sexedness that somehow the life style and seeming upwardly mobile direction of one stripper gives legitimacy to an industry that unapologetically exploits women who voluntarily (as this young woman in the article seems think of herself) and involuntarily participate. what a vicious cycle!

our world is so broken.

dear mr. powerwasher,

how did i ever live without you?

things i have power washed:

: car floor mats
: bricks for garden
: driveway
: walkway
: pavers
: garden furniture

please submit other things that i can power wash. i'm looking for excuses. megan power washed her face- so don't submit that as an option b/c needless to say- it did not turn out well. i'd link to the story b/c it was quite funny- but alas- her blog is private. hmmmph.

in other news- i am saying goodbye to my beloved and faithful pair of flip flops that died.

i tried to super glue the rubber back down but only succeeded in super gluing it to my foot. nice. and yes- it hurt to remove it.

r.i.p. flip flop.

here's a postmortem photo:



i have been a bit overwhelmed lately. it's funny how much trouble it is for me to just worry about today b/c tomorrow has enough worries of its own as they say... but there are many things to look forward to this summer. here are some of them:

: constance's dedication.
: a trip to indianapolis to hang out with family and to do our annual meeting of the anam development foundation.
: during that trip we will see my old friend annette.
: a trip to boston for our anniversary.
: during that trip- we'll get to see my old friend kyla.
: prep to goto nigeria this fall (!!!!!)
: enroll in classes to teach special needs kids.
: a trip to nashville to visit my brother's family.

and happy fourth blogging anniversary to me. i started out blogging in 2003. i was re-reading some posts from long ago (how neurotic is that?)- and i must say- the content of my blog has declined in my opinion. it used to be somewhat funny and interesting. i used to post lists and opinions. after doing this for four years sometimes religiously other times not- i can confirm, for me- blogging appeals to my voyeuristic neurosis.

but it does chronicle life and that's just fine with me.

peace out my peeps.

is that so wrong?

i just gave constance a hickey. can you blame me?

chewable vitamin

"everybody thinks of changing humanity and nobody thinks of changing himself."
: leo tolstoy

passcards

i've been thinking about something lately. lets see if the thought is coherent yet.

when i lived in albania; we would regularly pick up short term missions teams at the 'airport'. it was technically an airport b/c planes landed there; but it barely met my criteria for an airport b/c as an american it lacked things i associated w/ airports. namely, a paved runway, some sense of order, and reasonable people guarding it.

to retrieve visitors from the airport we had a routine. to ensure that luggage was not ransacked we would get into customs by flashing our blockbuster cards and acting official. these two things combined allowed us 'in'.

i've been thinking about systems of getting let 'in'. culturally, socially, organizationally. most every group of people has a passcard. if you have 'it' (weather it be vocabulary, relationship, reference the right authors, the right bands)- you belong. you're one of us- you're in. the vocab, relationship, author, band or whatever- gives a person validity and then everyone else in the group gives the greenlight of acceptance- which comes in many forms.

the 12 steps of alcoholics anonymous have corresponding twelve transitions that act as by-laws that hold the organization together. the twelth is:

"anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.'

first off; for those of you that know me well- you know that i have struggled with feeling included in my life. gratefully, that's not what has prompted this post. but also, i think this achilles heel of mine has made me more thoughtful about these kinds of issues.

i've just been thinking about jesus as our passcard as a church. i don't know if this is totally transferable- but it seems to me that this is another way that church could benefit from being more like an aa meeting.

maybe this metaphor doesn't work.
i don't know if it does.
ughhh. bear w/ me.

basically i don't want know how it works to include people based on jesus and not show partiality based on things that range from minute (aesthetic snobbery or bands) to demonic (like race even when made palatable and passed of as 'style'). i can have an affinity for people who don't like thomas kinkade, kenny g and don't use worship flags on sundays. but how do i do that and not exclude others and be a jerk?

its seems to me that the christianese answer to that question is 'it is a matter of the heart'. which makes it kind of arbitrary and difficult to see. maybe i'm looking for a marker when i should not be... i dunno. but there are some markers of the heart in the form of words (from the heart the mouth speaks) and deed.

and these passcards- particularly when they are people (as in- 'oh your friend with so and so- then you're ok by me' (said or unsaid)); gives undo power to something that is not centered on Jesus- but instead on people (in this case). that power messes everything up and spoils the welcome of the kingdom.

so here's to me trying to align and give power to the things of Jesus and not the silliness i have done in the past. have mercy on me oh God.

sorry if this is a jumbled post. if it is any comfort- i don't know if it makes sense to me.

get your prayer on...

being married to charles has brought to my attention that i don't know how to pray.

friday we had a small group of people over to pray for the elections in nigeria (see links below for coverage of the elections). this realization of mine (that i don't know how to pray) was stirred in me at a deeper level friday.

charles led the time and would transition everyone through the prayer points. everyone prayed at the same time outLOUD- which was a little over stimulating for my orderly american self. but man! it was great! there was a lot of holy ghostness too. which can make me feel a bit uncomfortable (and i blush a bit admitting that...) but alas- i was reminded again that my comfort level does not seem to be a good barameter of what God has for me or his values for the Kingdom.

here are some photos of our time...





economist's coverage
financial times coverage
bbc coverage
check out our website

this, that and the other...

jen and constance

my sweet friend jen was in town this past weekend and we hung together. she wanted to eat constance but i told her she was not allowed. she likes new jersey and i think we may visit her when we goto visit my aunt this summer in philly.

i will...

• get outside daily w/ constance. running errands doesn't count. driving to the park to walk does. weather it's in the yard or for a walk- i WILL get out.
• figure out how to get more than one thing done (as in completed) around the house.
• paint the three season room.
• make a plan for the garden and figure out the reasonable cost effective steps to implement it in stages.

i won't...

• watch the view anymore. i feel too lame doing it.
• compulsively check blogs throughout the day. i will try to keep blogsurfing confined to one time daily. i forgot how addictive this can be.

things ebele is doing lately:

• smile and smirk a ton. she does it in a discerning way though...
  
• kicking and i think getting momentum to rollover sometime- or do the reverse worm move from break dancing. one of the two- i'm not sure which.
• passing enormous amounts of gas.
• clutching fabric.
• squirming her way out of swaddle and hitting self in face then screaming.
• converse and babble as if what she is saying makes complete sense.
• communicate that her pacifier is 'so 90's' by saying it, then spitting it angrily across the room.

she continues to:
+ slobber a lot
+ look insanely cute all the time.
+ rings hands while nursing

chewable vitamin

"the Dragon is by the side of the road, watching those who pass, beware lest he devour you. we go the Father of souls, but it is necessary to pass by the dragon."
~ st. cyril of jerusalem

updates and whatnot

well if you have not picked up on this- i absolutely love being a mom. i knew that i would like it. but it is way way better than i thought. i am absolutely nuts about constance. shes the kind of baby that i put her down to sleep and i can't wait till she gets up so i can see her again and be together. she is laughing and smiling more and more which is a complete joy. it is amazing how a baby can transform you into a complete and blubbering idiot. charles walks around doing jazz hands all day and i no longer talk. i just make odd noises and screeches to get her to respond and continue her 'verbalization'. seriously? charles hasn't walked a normal step with the baby awake in i don't know how long. he's always dancing or something ridiculous and we have been reduced to being complete goof balls- and unabashedly so...

in other news- i got fired from my job. which kinda stinks and you would think illegal to do while on maternity leave. but i don't really care. aside from having your dignity suspended when your baby arrives; adding constance to our family has certainly changed my perspective on what is worth fighting for and where i want my energy to go. needless to say, it was an easy decision to not o fight for a job that nearly drove me to the edge.

aside from being entertained by her parents each day- constance has developed her first crush. she is mesmerized by red kitty. red kitty sits atop her bouncy seat. constance stares at it and smiles and laughs. it's the best. here's a picture of the androgynous but good looking kitty. the kid has good taste...



i got an ipod and frankly- i don't get the hype. i got a nano that fits fifty songs. itunes has been giving me fits and i am a bit put off by the whole experience. i got it before constance got here- but have forgotten to write about my disappointment. i'm disappointed.

speaking of forgetting... will my brain ever recover from pregnancy and nursing? someone please tell me yes. it does seem that with every ounce of milk that exists my body- brain matter and cells do as well.

charles is just about done with vli. i'm so proud of him. the dude is tired! vli burned me out- which is probably more of a statement on where i was in life when i did it. but it makes me feel a little better that someone as devout and responsible as charles also shows the wear and tear.

in sad news- we're selling the fox this weekend. i love that car. love it. i am so attached to it- but alas she needs to goto a home that can take better car of her. a vw mechanic is buying it so i know that she will be well loved. i will post pictures and stories later on why i love that car so much. we will be a one car family again. this time we will have a mazda. nothing against our mazda but it is boring and mainstream and i resent it a little. i should be grateful. but instead i resent it... a car. i resent a car. how lame am i?

i'm reading an interesting book called, 'not buying it- my year w/o shopping.' i decided to actually finish a book before i start another. we'll see how it goes. i've been reading so many different books that it is hard to keep track of them all and it takes longer to get through them for me. so we'll see how this strategy pans out.

tonight, i'm hoping to goto this movie. please let me know if you'd like to go with...

have a good weekend.

i'm not actually a communist

but i play one on t.v.

i know that this list might look incriminating but alas- i'm trying not to care what people think about me. b/c lets face it- people think about me less than i think they think about me...

here are movies i've watched since constance arrived. i have canceled our blockbuster membership-but really enjoyed using it while it was cold and we were housebound.

accepted: i didn't want to watch this so much- but enjoyed it more than i thought i would. it's about kids that didn't get into any other colleges and made up their own instead.
art school confidential: caricature of art schools that i found funny and spoofishly true of my art school experience at ohio state.
america from freedom to facisim: loaded title eh? this is about the 'illegal' enforcement of the payroll tax in america (among other things). very interesting and thought provoking. you'd think this movie was made by people you could dismiss as nutjobs. they seem pretty sane to me. still plan to pay my taxes though.
employee of the month: a romantic comedy at walmart complete. fun and mindless.
straight out of brookyln: turned it off. too afterschool special-y for me.
lagaan- once upon a time in india: the suprise of the bunch. i loved this movie! kinda the indian version of dr. zhavigo in length and context. very good.
i shot andy warhol: the actress in this was incredible (lili taylor). some graphic scene... you've been warned. otherwise pretty good.
sketches of frank gehry: a documentary by syndeny pollack. casual conversation between pollack and gehry. very interesting.
the lost city: directed by andy garcia who is cuban not italian. how i did not know this- i don't know. this is about pre revolution havana and the effects of the cuban revolution on a family. i liked it very much
an inconvenient truth: not as good as i thought it would be.
the yes men: documentary. two guys who intercept initiations from conferences to the WTO and spoof the 'true motives' of trade in the western world. the one movie i'd say is the 'must see' of this list.
the cooler: i love william h macy and you should too. this is about a guy who thinks he's a looser and how love changes his outlook on life. some graphic scenes.
flags of our fathers: a redux of a redux of a redux- clint eastwood's war movie. how the government exploited war. a new concept to us all i'm sure...
borat: not as funny as i thought it would be. made me laugh and feel guily i was laughing.
my left foot: early daniel day lewis. very very good movie about a irish boy who grows up w/ epilipsey and into a prolific artist.
power and terror: noam chomsky in our times: a documentary about the MIT lingusitics professor who has an interesting account of the progression of war and aggression in america. i like.
nowhere in afrika: a jewish family flees germany to escape hitler and moves to kenya. compeling story, great cinematography and wonderful acting.
the u.s. vs john lennon: INS works to kick out john lennon. covers the subversive art of john and yoko in a response to the war.
bloody sunday: the account of the heat that gave rise to the IRA in belfast in the 1972.
the road to guantanamo: depressing.
half nelson: graphic drug use- couldn't watch it all. story of crack head teacher. some redemptive themes but not enough for my taste. too bleak.
running w/ scissors: very very bleak. did not like.
elizabethtown: i liked this movie it's a love story about a guy who thinks his family are country bumpkins but he loves them anyways.
dark days: a docuamentary on homelessness.
the corporation: i forget the details of this movie but it's a documentary about the worst of capitalism and how big companies are screwing the little guy/common man/woman.
dave chappelle's block party: funny funny stuff.
why we fight: in the same vein as the fog of war (ala william mcnamara) this time it is dwight eisenhower.
lumumba: same director that did 'sometimes in april'. an account of the congolese leader and his assignation and america picking the wrong side... again.

next time i'll post the books i've read since constance got here.

chewable vitamin

"1 So then, since Christ suffered physical pain, you must arm yourselves with the same attitude he had, and be ready to suffer, too. For if you have suffered physically for Christ, you have finished with sin. 2 You won’t spend the rest of your lives chasing your own desires, but you will be anxious to do the will of God. 3 You have had enough in the past of the evil things that godless people enjoy—their immorality and lust, their feasting and drunkenness and wild parties, and their terrible worship of idols.

4 Of course, your former friends are surprised when you no longer plunge into the flood of wild and destructive things they do. So they slander you. 5 But remember that they will have to face God, who will judge everyone, both the living and the dead. 6 That is why the Good News was preached to those who are now dead—so although they were destined to die like all people, they now live forever with God in the Spirit.

7 The end of the world is coming soon. Therefore, be earnest and disciplined in your prayers. 8 Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins." ~ 1 Peter 4.1-8