liadanslyre

three years
it's been three years today since my father passed away.

i miss him so much! i can't believe that it's been that long. in many ways it feels like so much longer- and in many ways it feels like just yesterday.

tonight the sullivan clan will celebrate with grilling out, a funny movie, and black raspberry chip graeters. we will serve at faith mission this weekend. it's become our tradition to honor his life in these simple ways.

the thing that has me stuck emotionally is that my dad and charles never met. they would've enjoyed one another i think. they both are share common concern over similar people and issues in our society.

sometimes i think that getting sober competes w/ my dad's passing for the toughest thing that i've ever done. but really i think it's a combination of both... staying sober through my dad's sickness and death is the hardest thing i've ever been through.

but in the grand scale of things- it was a bittersweet time. lots of people go through shit i can't even imagine with no sweet- just bitter. i got to be with my dad and love him and hopefully give to him as his health declined. i got to say goodbye to him and be at peace together progressively. i got to learn a little more about heaven and i'm so comforted by the knowledge that life and Followership is not just hooey- we're not just food for worms. he's got a new body and no tubes. and he may just be smoking salem lights b/c he likes them not b/c he had to. the whole season was one of a handful of eras where the rubber of my faith met the road of life.

not that my faith is a prophylactic.

a little too serious there.

on a related note- i'm thinking of going to sudan for a couple of weeks. what the hell is the hold up there? we gotta define if it meets the definition of genocide? hello???