well folks
february is finally over.
thank you god.

i have been unbearably tired the last couple of days.
trying to fend off my mild feeling of ickiness.

went to mark's funeral.
i don't really have much to say this evening.
just checking in.
i'm off to watch 24 and try and understand what's happening.

today's chewable vitamin:
"i prayed for twenty years but received no answer until I prayed with my legs."
~ frederick douglas

a guy from my meetings killed himself this weekend.
i got the call this afternoon. i am very sad.

i had a bunch of stuff to say- but now it all seems stupid.
nothing eloquent or profound.
nothing touching or something cathartic for me to feel better.
sometimes it's just better for me to be quiet and be sad.

when we forget history, we are doomed to repeat it
please read this editorial.
(warning some disturbing photos are the first thing you'll see)

today's chewable vitamin
"to those who hunger give bread, and to those who have bread, give the hunger for justice."
~unknown

ok here's the situation
my parent's went away on a week's vacation
and
they left the keys to the brand new porsch

sorry

sometimes in i just break into rap.
other times. i'm just desperate for a title
i know. it's sad.

ok the reason i'm writting today is to have anyone who is interested
participate in a fake democratic process.
it's fake b/c your vote doesn't actually count.
unless you come to our bookclub...
which by the way- you're welcome to.
(erica? karen?)
but only if you're a girl. NO BOYS ALLOWED!
but boys are allowed to vote here.

i'm responsible for book choices this month.
here are the choices i think i'll bring:



Collapse: How Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed



American Dream:
Three Women, Ten Kids, and a Nation's Drive to End Welfare



The Careless Society: Community and Its Counterfeits



naked




The Case For Democracy: The Power of Freedom to Overcome Tyranny and Terror




Land of a Thousand Hills: My Life in Rwanda



the awake project



God's Politics : Why the Right Gets It Wrong and the Left Doesn't Get It

this is a long shot b/c the library has no copies
but it look interesting nonetheless.





Green Urbanism: Learning from European Cities


if nothing else-
you can help me vote some of these books off the island.



chewable vitamin
"all that is needed for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing."
~ edmund burke

updates:
revised revision
well here are a couple of bullet points to bring you up to speed.

:: i've decided that there is a deadly middle class crack that is widely circulated at gas stations. it comes from a fountain of life- namely a coffee machine that dispenses sugar and then some more. that english toffee 'cappacinno' is a weakness of mine.

:: the christo trip was overcome by a car repair to the fox. i am disappointed. needless to say- it's been a stressful week. i could always pray for a capital venturist to fund my trip.
:: charles is getting into the groove of starbucks (he works at the campus store). feel free to stop into say hi- he's the one w/ the chronic smiling problem ;)
:: sometimes i think i have a spirit of crankiness.

:: we recently watched gandhi and i really loved it.

i know that i said i was going to post an itenaray but since i got it in my head that i might go next weekend- and now that it's a financial impossibility- i think it'd be too depressing to do. so i'm dealying this post.

in other news- i have never, in my life recieved more forwards than right now. my coworkers are whores to forwards. the other thing i want to say is that the receptionist here at work is always paging william taft- which i chuckle at everytime. and the last thing i wanted to say is that we're going to watch 42 up this weekend and i'm excited.

here are some things i'm looking at and into lately:

this illustrator's blog

this other illustrator's blog
both this guy's view of the gates and his site in general

this missions/ relief agency

i love me one of these lists

this made me sad today

so instead here's my question for discussion:
why and how did it become one of the primary concerns of the Church to influence people's individual morality?

taulk amongest yurselfs in comments pleeeze....

as we close out on black history month...

today's chewable vitamin:

"when the missionaries came to Africa they had the Bible and we had the land. They said 'Let us pray.' we closed our eyes. when we opened them we had the Bible and they had the land. "
~ desmond tutu

pray for this guy



ever since i watched my dad's decline-
it effects me deeply when people get sick.
i am convinced that we were not made for death.

pray that the curse's margin will be pushed back a little
and that mercy and healing will come to mark and his family.

honestly, i feel a little wierd posting this b/c i barely know the guy.
but my heart has been bothered since i heard
the news that he has a malignant tumor.
plus it's always good to pray for sick people weather i know them or not...

ahhhh... what i wouldn't give

to see christo's gates project in central park.
some more stuff to read here and here.

urgent update:
currently looking for interested parties
to goto nyc last weekend in febraury.
we'll go on the cheap.
let me know if you're interested.







** ummm i suppose it's worth saying that i got these photos elsewhere.
i wonder if i'm gonna get busted by the blog police for not properly citing where i get what...

later this week-
i'm gonna post a mock itenarary for an ideal day in new york city.

chewable vitamin:
"the job of the artist is always to deepen the mystery."
~ francis bacon

laurel

this is my neicey laurel. my sister rations photos of her for some reason- so these are the first time i've posted any of her. she knows her address, her phone number, the letters to her mom and dad's name, she counts to fourteen, she sings, dances and knows lionel richie songs. she's basically a genius. she lives here in columbus and i get to see her on the weekends sometimes- but not enough for my liking. she'll be 3 in march and shares the same birthday w/ my mom.

sometimes, i love her so much it hurts.

ash wednesday

hi there... well today's ash wednesday. i'm one of these people who whenever there's a holiday approaching, i proclaim that THIS (the upcoming holiday) is my favorite holiday of them all. i do like the easter an awful lot. it's about miracles. and who doesn't like miracles? not me- no sir!

today marks a time to reflect for us christians on our humanity and falleness i suppose. we're fragile folks us humans! good thing that this life is not all that there is...

i'm particularly reminded today of our fraility with the news that some of my former co-workers are venturing into new and terrible ground. you can read about thier struggle here. erik has a malignant and agressive tumor in his brain. he and his wife kelly are the parents of two- one 15 month old and another baby on the way. the prognosis is 5% survival rate to make it through this year. please think and pray for them today. it's a season of miracles afterall.

chewable vitamin

psalm 51

1 Have mercy on me, O God,because of your unfailing love. Because of your great compassion,blot out the stain of my sins.
2 Wash me clean from my guilt.Purify me from my sin.
3 For I recognize my shameful deeds--they haunt me day and night.
4 Against you, and you alone, have I sinned;I have done what is evil in your sight. You will be proved right in what you say,and your judgment against me is just.
5 For I was born a sinner--yes, from the moment my mother conceived me.
6 But you desire honesty from the heart,so you can teach me to be wise in my inmost being.
7 Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean;wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
8 Oh, give me back my joy again;you have broken me--now let me rejoice.
9 Don't keep looking at my sins.Remove the stain of my guilt.
10 Create in me a clean heart, O God.Renew a right spirit within me.
11 Do not banish me from your presence,and don't take your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me again the joy of your salvation,and make me willing to obey you.
13 Then I will teach your ways to sinners, and they will return to you.
14 Forgive me for shedding blood, O God who saves;then I will joyfully sing of your forgiveness.
15 Unseal my lips, O Lord,that I may praise you.
16 You would not be pleased with sacrifices,or I would bring them. If I brought you a burnt offering,you would not accept it.
17 The sacrifice you want is a broken spirit.A broken and repentant heart, O God,you will not despise.
18 Look with favor on Zion and help her;rebuild the walls of Jerusalem.
19 Then you will be pleased with worthy sacrificesand with our whole burnt offerings;and bulls will again be sacrificed on your altar.

their back from ghana...


this is my brother

he and his best buddy are planting a church in nashville. i have a very deep respect for him and the way he and andrea 'do' life. i love their family very much. they arrived home from ghana safe and sound.

here are some other pictures.


see maggie in the back?



but this one is my favorite.

state of my union:

for better or worse, the hopes and aspirations i have for the coming year are very similar to what i outlined for myself last year.

this fact is not to discount the happenings and developments since the last state of my union. with each year that passes- i feel more and more myself. i am increasingly aware and somehow more comfortable with those things that i am not good at- and the things in which i excel.

the labors that i have undertaken through the script that life has given- change me. although the change is much slower than i would like- it is change nonetheless.

one thing that has been recurring as i pray through this new season in my life is the correlation between being self-forgetful and distraction. in the coming year, i am praying that God would work into me a concrete self-forgetfulness. my hope and hunch is that this discipline will lead to less distraction and more focus on what is truly important in my life. as i allow the Lord to master distraction and crowdedness in my life- i will be freed to forget about myself.

there are plenty of factors that contribute to some of the distraction. some are external, most of mine- are internal. i am coming to the realization that the external distraction will not cease- but only increase as you add people to your life and as you grow up. mortgages, money, jobs, kids... all of these things have the potential to make me insular and self-absorbed. i realize that there are seasons in life and i also realize that these things mentioned above are not inherently wrong. but when they become an end to themselves- or a means by which i excuse my inactivity towards what god is asking of me and our family; they become distractions.

as for my internal factors that contribute to distraction in my life- i will to prayerfully commit them to the Lord and actively deflate their power in my life. therefore- i?m outlining this course of action over the coming year. towards the goal of self forgetfulness i will:

+ repent of worry over finances and continue to walk out my financial plan.

+ integrate the credo that it is none of my business what others think of me. i will do what i say i believe is important. the importance of prayer for the sick, weather they be coworkers or others i meet along life?s road, and talking about my faith to those around me this will outweigh the importance of being cool in other people?s mind.

+ i will quiet distraction and noise with increased service and regular spiritual disciplines- particularly fasting.

+ i will work all twelve steps.

+ we will lay the ground work for our work to care for widows and orphans in west africa.

this is the state of my union.

take heart
the days are getting longer.
i usually get a bit depressed in february.
it's the shortes month of the year-
but feels like the longest.

this is what i got on my mind lately...

today's chewable vitamin

29 watch the way you talk. let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. say only what helps, each word a gift.

30 don't grieve God. don't break his heart. his Holy Spirit, moving and breathing in you, is the most intimate part of your life, making you fit for himself. don't take such a gift for granted.
31 make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk. 32 be gentle with one another, sensitive. forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.
> eph. 4.29-31