WARNING
process post ahead.
some rhetorical questions
some questions i can't answer
all are sincere...
can anyone explain to me
why it is considered 'inferior' (for lack of a more impartial word).
to be a single issue voter?
discuss**
(see below for guidelines)
things you might consider addressing:
:: do you thinkit's possible that there is 'one thing' in voting that is more important than anything else? if so (and what that 'one thing' is- isn't so much what i'm interested in) how did you come to hold it so important? describe your process.
:: is there truth behind the inference that one issue voting is intellectually weak?
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
where i'm coming from...
i have bucked the idea of being a 'one issue voter'.
i like to think that i am (and honestly- it's too important to me that i be perceived as) a thoughtful, informed, hard to categorize person and voter.
but, more and more- it is clear to me what is most important to me.
i don't know how much time i have spent trying deliberating on how i should vote-
discussing, arguing and praying.
the more i think about it;
the more comfortable i am to make a decision based on what is most important to me...
i can make rocket science out of anything.
for me (and for the vast majority of people reading this);
abortion is an important issue.
it is what i am referring to here as my 'most important' issue.
i know that there has been very good logic laid out elsewhere that there is very little likihood that the next administration will do anything to effect laws to protect the unborn.
BUT
anne articulated this feeling that has solidified in me
(in the previously comment happy post 10.07):
"i don't support the law, biblical or corporal, because of its efficacy, i support it because of its truth. i don't espouse certain tenets only because i think they may be carried out, i support them because they are true.
i understand that you are being pragmatic in evaluating the potential cost to the abortion issue if john kerry is elected, but i think your logic is backwards. we are to called to support what is true, all the time. in this case it is clear, that gw is standing for the truth."
somehow my mind goes to the abolishionist movement.
what if people stopped their work to end slavery in america
prior to the fruits of their "efforts" (whatever that might look like)
come to pass and be seen?
they did EVERYTHING they could to solve and fight and kick and scream
(not to offend any of you anabaptists out there)
until slavery was outlawed.
i know this is some serious shit- but like i said-
it's my most important issue and my vote will reflect that...
** assumptions (ass) and ground rules (gr):
ass #1: your walk, reverence and love for God is not in question. even if we disagree.
ass #2: your patriotism is intact. however you vote you love this country as much as me and other's commenting here (unless you tell us otherwise)...
ass #3: we're equals. may your words reflect it.
gr #1: you will be edited if you berate one another.
gr #2: no all caps (ok i'm kidding)
2004-10-20
2004-10-18
maggie- it's not raining
this is my niece.
her name is margret claire.
she goes by maggie.
she has many ideas and opinions.
2004-10-15
in honor of the weekend...
i want to get some weighty and profound things off my mind.
:: my comments are erased. i wonder if i can get them restored rather than simply back. *problem solved*
:: i could really be getting bored with my yankees.
:: did anyone think that president bush might have had something in the right corner of his mouth- or was that the camera angle for pbs?
:: say cheboygan ten times and tell me if you don't smile.
:: i collect leaves in the autumn. my collection is a bit out of control.
:: i am happy to hear that my man- chris rock is hosting the oscars.
in honor of him... i give you-
today's chewable vitamin
"every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to." ~chris rock
2004-10-14
nora standing
nora standing
Originally uploaded by liadanslyre.
this is nora catherine.
this is nora standing.
now she walks...
haven't see her do it yet.
she also smiles incessantly.
2004-10-11
welcome to my 200th post.
200 random things
for my
200th post
1. i’m a terrible speller.
2. i graduated from grandview heights highschool. it was nice.
3. i’m the youngest of three.
4. i have two nephews and three nieces. only one lives in columbus. so i’ve adopted a couple here in town.
5. i think megan crawford should host a part for all of blogdom in central ohio.
6. i am not so good at learning in the traditional fashion- but i love learning.
7. i only found that out after i was done with my undergrad degree.
8. my right arm pit sweats more than my left. weird.
9. when facing something that intimidates me- i sing the rocky theme song to myself. it helps. try it.
10. i like to be alone sometimes.
11. my brother is planting a church.
12. the area of life that i allow to fluster me most consistently is money or the lack of it.
13. i worked with campus crusade for five years and loved it for the most part.
14. my most favorite memory of my dad is running the pumpkin run with him riding his bike playing eye of the tiger on a boom box.
15. i was voted worse driver of my senior class.
16. when i was drinking i would wake up in very random places having no idea how i got there.
17. if i could have any car i wanted i think i would get a volvo cross country.
18. i lived in albania for a year. it was great and terrible all at once.
19. sometimes i act as if it is more important to be cool than to represent Jesus. this worries me.
20. when i first became a christian, i felt like i was on the outside looking in at life happening for everyone else.
21. sometimes I still feel like that.
22. i didn’t think I would live past the age of 21.
23. one of the biggest challenges in my life is to take responsibility for my choices and not blame jerks around me for my unhappiness or frustration.
24. i would love to adopt an AIDS orphan from Africa.
25. i was grounded once for four months. it sucked.
26. in college- my friends and i used to try to get one another to pee our pants from laughing too hard. we had a rating system on how close we came.
27. i never thought i’d have the caliber of friends in my life that i do today.
28. when i first meet someone- i often do nervous talking. i’m not so good at first impressions.
29. i’ve had my licensed suspended by the state of ohio.
30. the first time i knew there was something intriguing about charles is when he told me he wanted to found and fund a non profit for widows and orphans.
31. i’ve never been more sure of anything in my life than being partnered with charles in life and ministry.
32. in our young marriage; i’ve learned that i don’t fight fair sometimes. i hope God changes me.
33. i was a tom-boy when i was growing up.
34. sometimes i miss the desperations of life and my walk with the Lord when I first came to know him.
35. sometimes i want to beat up people that hurt people i love.
36. i’m not sure i can think of 200 things to write.
37. i got my undergraduate degree in art education.
38. one concrete regret I have is that I didn’t get my teaching certificate.
39. my nephew jack developed a dry sense of humor at 3.5 yrs of age. i think it’s a sign of brilliance.
40. when i was single; i hated that argument that married people had reached a place of contentment and god released them to be married.
41. now that i’m married- i dislike that argument even more.
42. i really believe that marital status (single, or married) is a tool or atmosphere that god uses to help us love and surrender more to him.
43. i’m 31 yrs old.
44. my social security number is blahhhhhhh.
45. i can be too wordy.
46. i can be too opinionated.
47. i like people that have opinions on stuff. i think they’re more interesting.
48. i want to teach my kids a game called hooper that my dad taught us.
49. i really want to be a good wife.
50. i don’t know if this deodorant is working.
51. i don’t know how to cook very well- but i’m learning little by little.
52. the first and most influential book i read as a Christian was inside out.
53. i think it was influential b/c it verbalized something that validated and helped me not be as scared to let people know me.
54. i love being irish.
55. my quest to learn igbo is coming along.
56. i am sorting through some of my dreams. i think some of them were a bit grandiose. there might be a step towards health and maturity as they are refined into right sized things.
57. i hope that last one wasn’t too vague.
58. i believe thomas freidman of the times- rocks the proverbial house.
59. treatment wasn’t so bad.
60. i believe that we are called to be part of a church plant one day. i hope i'm right.
61. i hope it works out to celebrate shelby's birthday on the 30th w/ lori in dayton.
62. i applied to three different graduate school programs but i didn’t get in. it really bummed me out.
63. i believe that no child left behind is underfunded.
64. i love that phase of friendship when you first are becoming friends. that’s not to exclude other phases of friendship.
65. my friend anne is one of the more funny people I know.
66. i started blogging after reading mark palmer’s blog.
67. i truly believe that my mom may be one of the best second grade teachers out there.
68. sometimes i write to strangers about their blogs. this usually leads to a cool dialogue.
69. sometimes i get emails from strangers about my blog. this usually leads to a cool dialogue.
70. i really hope that i can spend my life on Jesus, his Kingdom and His people.
71. i really hope that my idea of that that means isn’t completely wacked.
72. it seems very difficult to not make your kids the center of the universe.
73. i look at my mission statement once a month and pray that it would come to fruition. i’m really happy i do this.
74. i try very hard to not be a poser. i hope that it pays off.
75. my friends kyla and michael just moved to boston to help pastor a church. i hope their doing well. i don’t know how to reach them.
76. i’ve decided to vote for george bush. i decided that after learning that john kerry will not vote to ban partial birth abortion.
77. charles says he will still love me even if I vote for gwb.
78. i don’t think Jesus was a capitalist.
79. i wish socialism worked.
80. i can’t believe i genuinely enjoy my mom as much as i do.
81. i wonder if anyone is reading this.
82. i don’t think i will loose sleep over this job. it may be too early to tell.
83. i got a gmail account. verdict is still out.
84. if i get invitations- let me know if you want one
85. i would’ve like to have five kids- now- I’d like to have two or three.
86. i don’t get how people walk around pregnant.
87. i can’t really believe that whole dilation phenomena.
88. i think that people that say money doesn’t solve all your problems are generally right- but more than likely have never been poor.
89. i wonder if my friends that work at merck are off-loading their stock options.
90. i think the patriot act is largely bullshit.
91. i was a late talker b/c my hearing was damaged. I was on track by the age of five.
92. i went to speech therapy throughout elementary school.
93. my teacher’s name was mrs. kessel. she was freaky. no eyebrows.
94. my hair’s name is bridget.
95. i saw a book once called sometimes i hurt. i thought that was pretty funny.
96. funniest line from jess: “mommy- was does that man have purple glitter on his face?”
97. i try to make a desks out of obscure items.
98. jess is feeding me lines over the phone and begging for credit.
99. she is telling me to put down some obscene things- which i will resist.
100. she thinks she is very funny.
101. she is pretty funny.
102. kirsten kinnell should defiantly blog.
103. lyndi is blogging now.
104. at one point in my life i could recite wayne’s world in its entirety.
105. at one point in my life- I had entirely too much time on my hands (albania).
106. is this post a sign I have too much time on my hands?
107. don't answer that.
108. i don’t understand why the clerk at udf always feels the freedom to vent at me about poor people and foodstamps. she’s lucky i don’t go ape on her ass.
109. i really dislike when people pontificate on how people want to be or stay poor.
110. not having a t.v. isn’t so bad.
111. as much as i hate to admit it- i am still tempted to lie.
112. sometimes i do.
113. but 9 times out of 10- i go back and tell the person of my over exaggeration or whatever.
114. the first time i practiced correcting a lie, over exaggeration, white lie or whatever was for a boy. i told him I had read ben hur when i had not.
115. people think about me less than i think they do.
116. i really hope our kinship takes to the idea of doing a servant evangelism project to the girls at sirens.
117. i almost never open forwards.
118. i love walking through leaves in the autumn and will go out of my way to do so...
119. a guaranteed smile overtakes me when charles sings the little mermaid theme song to me.
120. charles reminds me that being cool is over-rated.
121. or maybe he redefines what it means to be cool.
122. theocracies don't work.
123. i’ve never drank an alcoholic drink and not gotten drunk.
124. it think i might of changed my mind on the Volvo station wagon. maybe a Nissan murano instead.
125. chris farley’s el nino skit makes me pee my pants a little.
126. NPR enlightened me to nick drake, hill st. soul, call and response and ken stringfellow.
127. i really like our bookclub.
128. i’m glad i haven’t gotten kicked out when i don’t finish the book
129. i hope we can have each of our neighbors over for dinner this autumn.
130. i prefer to call autumn; autumn over fall
131. i know i drink too much diet coke.
132. I thought that this was pretty funny.
133. i love to smoke cigars.
134. i love to disinfect stuff. i’m a little ocd.
135. i am more quirky and particular than I’d like to admit.
136. marriage has shown me this.
137. i think about my dad every day.
138. i would like to be a presidential history buff.
139. i think america is far too detached or disinterested in african geo-political happenings.
140. I wonder why that is and hope it’s not b/c of prejudice.
141. i regret not visiting prague while i was living in the balkans.
142. baklava here totally sucks.
143. I miss my rushmore soundtrack. Some bastard stole it out of my card. Hope they’re enjoying it.
144. my dad was very smart.
145. this one has been edited for better judgement and in reverance to the dooce principle]
146. [this one has been edited for better judgement and in revernace to the dooce principle]
147. my sister is the one sibling that looks like me ma- but she’s adopted.
148. i think adoption is great.
149. i love sunsets- and even though this is completely self absorbed- i think that when there’s a really pretty one- that Jesus gave it just for me.
150. i love the books of romans, revelation, hebrews and dueteronomy most in the bible.
151. i consider micah 6.8 one of my “life verses”.
152. 2Cor. 4.7-12 is one of my favorite passages in the new testament.
153. Lk 7 is probably my favorite chapter in the entire bible.
154. one of my favorite things i’ve heard a preacher say is (something like- i’m paraphrasing)- “redemptive history starts in a garden and ends in a City. if you don’t like cities- you might consider that…”
155. i don’t know who this randy character is.
156. i can’t believe that charles makes $7 an hour doing such shitty and hard work.
157. u want to sell our old computer but I don’t know how to get all the stuff off of it.
158. i really hope our next major purchase is a digital camera. i got one all researched.
159. we’re doing crown financial and I’m very excited about it.
160. with my 200th post- i’ve learned to not treat this as a journal. my journal is much different. i cuss more in it. ok- i’m kidding about the cussing.
161. this has taken some time to compile 200 things.
162. i think it’s very great that the strip bar that u’ve prayed would burn down actually did. (no one was hurt)
163. i’m very happy to report that my dear old friend cyd kniffen tracked me down.
164. i can’t believe we lost to northwestern
165. i love lowe’s and stationary stores (not hallmark- but on paper and stuff). i also love andersons.
166. i'm looking forward to seeing i heart the huckabees.
167. and wes anderson's new film as well.
168. in general- i think dick cheney is a crazy mofo- but he came across pretty well in the debate.
169. does anyone have the book The Gospel According to Job? i heard it was very good and would like to borrow it. really, any resources on Job will do.
170. our cd rom is busted.
171. i’m getting together with this girl that i used to party with on Friday. she just got done being homeless. surreal.
172. we went to see garden state and it was good.
173. i can’t believe that I have nearly thirty to go.
174. this is getting a little laborious.
175. i ate bologna the other day by accident.
176. the Grandview football team is actually doing well for the first time in YEARS.
177. but they axed field hockey… bastards.
178. i can be caustic at times.
179. i think it’s cause I like to fight. sometimes. plain and simple.
180. sushi. the food of the gods.
181. one of our friends aaron is coming for breakfast saturday. he hasn’t met charles yet.
182. we’re having a pumpkin carving party saturday.
183. how do people get all those crazy designs out of pumpkins??
184. i heart flickr.
185. if i had money… i would subscribe to a daily delivery of the nytimes, the economist, the new yorker, and harpers.
186. right now, i just subscribe to new yorker.
187. if i had to drop one name from the list- it would be harpers.
188. if i could only have one (after having the new yorker for a number of years) it would be the economist.
189. there are many cross cultural experiences in our marriage. the biggest surprise in my adjustment is how our house always smells like nigerian food. which isn’t a bad thing- i just was not prepared.
190. one of my favorite artists is egon schille. but he was a perv.
191. i also love soutine. i saw a show of his at the jewish museum. some of his stuff is at the columbus museum of art.
192. i wonder if anyone is still reading this.
193. funniest/ strangest thing said in the okonkwo house in a long time, 'you guys don't have dead bodies along the road here right?' uh- no charles- we don't.
194. i go nuts when I hear pipes (bag pipes/irish pipes).
195. i really want to read four views of the millinieum by mounce- but I think my head might burst.
196. i go through cycles devotionally. i’m either all about prayer or all about study. right now i’m all about prayer.
197. riley flaherty proposed to me in kindergarten. he gave me a flinstones ring out of a cracker jacks box. he was totally into Kiss (the group).
198. i don’t like the new tom and jerry cartoons.
199. if I could live anywhere in the world- i think it would be in brooklyn heights new york.
200. ________________________________ (you’re turn-fill in the blank).
2004-10-07
i would really be interested to hear
how any readers who are:
undecided voters
are pro-life
but don’t consider yourself a single issue voter
can vote for john kerry.
i was not aware that he has voted against every measure that bans partial birth abortion.
prior to knowing this, i had a solid two months thinking i was going to vote for him (as the lesser of two evils).
now, i think his voting record on that particular issue (specifically partial birth abortion) speaks to his lack of character. i have a hard time thinking he is a good man (although i agree on his approach on many things).
what do you think?
if you don’t meet the criteria outlined above- you can weigh in too. just try to keep it to the question at hand and tell me why you think what you think. and please don’t yell at me.
2004-10-05
2004-10-03
my friend frankie died.
he is with Jesus now which is good. but i will miss him. his body was barely a shell, but his spirit was feisty and lovely until the end. he did not get his electric blue wig like cydney on alias. that’s my only earthly disappointment for him. he has exchanged his frail body for a new one. his eyes can see with no interference of infection; his legs work with no obstruction from tumors. he body is free no longer wracked with pain.
i am distracted by heaven today. i have been more conscience of the blessing of god on my life lately. with that i mind, i would exchange the richness of here for the relieve of the to come.
no more watching people die. no more watching people betray. no more oppression. no more desertion or duplicity. no more waging the war within me. no more emotional limping through life.
shalom. wholeness. being with Jesus will be so great. see you soon frankie. i love you!
+++
" 50 i declare to you, brothers, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable. 51 listen, i tell you a mystery: we will not all sleep, but we will all be changed—
52 in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. for the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. 53 for the perishable must clothe itself with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality.
54 when the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: "death has been swallowed up in victory."[7] 55"where, o death, is your victory? where, O death, is your sting?"[8] 56 the sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. 57 but thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." ~ 1 cor. 15.50-57
chewable vitamin
"always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry. "
~ bill cosby
2004-10-01
things i’m into right now…
:: learning html
:: using the phrase “dirty rat bastard”
:: really good bass lines
:: working hard on our marriage.
:: outlining some plan of study and sticking to it.
:: getting prank calls from my 5 yrs old nephew jack
:: the italian chalk festival
:: making regular visits the north market farmer's market on a saturday morning this autumn.
:: julian kay
2004-09-30
chewable vitamin
"i don't want to sell anything, buy anything or process anything as a career. i don't want to sell anything bought or processed... or buy anything sold or processed... or process anything sold, bought or processed... or repair anything sold, bought or processed. you know, as a career, I don't want to do that." ~ lloyd dobler (from say anything)
2004-09-28
something very good has happened.
julian daniel kay has arrived.
i got to meet him yesterday. he’s a chunk of love at 8 lbs 8 ounces.
i have many feelings that surround his arrival. the predominate one is an immense amount of pride i feel on behalf of his beloved mother chelsea. she carries herself with love void of reserve or self preservation that somehow exudes a dignity and grace that inspires me. it is the Lord. i can only pray i am half the wife and mother she is becoming!
chels labored like a champ and got a great gift in return. such is life. i got the chance to be with her during the first three hours of her relatively short labor. it's the best thing i've been a part of for a while.
best of craig's list
i laughed aloud!
2004-09-24
stevie
on a lighter note...
i thought i'd post a pic of one of the more under-rated mucisians in recent history- stevie wonder.
i'll yell it from the hill tops...
I LOVE STEVIE WONDER!
i needed a break from all this other stuff rumbling in the ole' noggin. if i need a break- for sure- you need a break from it too.
later dudes.
2004-09-23
"should christians look to politicians to advance the Kingdom of God?"
taken from previous post
nope.
it doesn't work.
is there a role for government in caring the poor, addressing cycles of poverty, not letting outright discrimination to go unchecked?
yes (my example would be the new deal- anne would disagree).
are those items (listed in previous sentence part of advancing of the Kingdom of God)?
yes.
ultimatley, the believer should not bank on the government changing society or caring for the forgotten. the Church is the main modality for the Kingdom of God to be advanced.
the decline of evangelicalism's impact on america is directly proportionate with the lack of care extended to the poor. **
++++++
last installment/next post:
"i think every american christian should live in a developing country for some length of time. i think the anarchists in nyc should too."
++++++
**for more on this discussion see "a heart for the city" by john fuder. in particular, the chapter "a case for holistic urban ministry: the City, evangelicals, and the social gospel." which highlights glen kehrein work and expereince with circle urban ministries. [thanks to my brother matt for bringing this to mind].
2004-09-20
"i think it is important for Christians to be part of the political process. the Church could easily hamstring ourselves when we put it at odds with the advancement of the Kingdom. when times arise when Christians are asked to compromise on the central issues of Gospel life- then we part ways and don't shame those that choose not to." taken from previous post
this is an excerpt from an email I exchanged earlier this month with mark palmer. he’s an intergral part of the landing place. he’s a gem from a far. meaning- what I know- I like. here’s what he wrote…
“when Jesus came, he came announcing that the Kingdom of God had come. HisKingdom was not just a spiritual Kingdom, it was a real and physicalKingdom, with its own set of politics, and its own way of life (i.e theSermon on the Mount). Jesus also announced, thru his teachings and hisactions, that he was the King of this new Kingdom. Again, he didn't meanthat he was just a "spiritual" king of "heaven". He was a real King. TheApostles and his first followers understood it this way; that's why theywere consistently arrested and executed, not because they were believing ina different "religion" (that really would have been no problem to thepowers). They were arrested and killed because they were announcing thatthey followed a different King who ruled a different Kingdom than the onethat Caesar ruled. When the first Christians announced that "Jesus isLord", it also meant that "Caesar is not"…
the reason that I don't vote is because I cannot involve myself in a systemthat is built upon the antithesis of Jesus' system (use of force/violence,rule from above/power from position, marginalization of the lowly, etc.) Ialso cannot cast a vote for a leader who leads a kingdom that is other thanthe Kingdom of God…. I simply can't have split allegiance.”
this argument really makes sense to me. i follow it logically. i am not comfortable with it though… now granted- my comfort level is not necessarily an indicator or baramator of what is right and what is wrong in the eyes of God. the bottom line is; i don’t know that it is split allegiance to particpipate in the political process.
this argument also makes me think about my parents and people that are older in their faith. i hope that this is received in the spirit in which it’s said- but i think older people who have logged time in the Lord and lived through history and life have an ability to live out nuances and ‘gray’ that is more difficult to settle on as a young (er) person. i don’t mean to discount the process and evolution involved in settling on convictions and deciding what is truly important to us as individuals or a group. i experience this in my own life it is more difficult for me to live and walk in the grays of life than it is for me to walk or talk in the black or white of life. i want things clear. when life is hard, I want a solution. and the more clear the solution the more I like it.
i don’t have an exhaustive theological framework to rebut the argument mark outlined. i do know that the bible doesn’t “clearly” address voting. i know that there is value placed on issues of discernment and dependence (walking out the gray areas).
i am simply very cautious when I sense things that throw the baby out with the bathwater. which is how this argument strikes me.
this potion that closed mark’s email was so encouraging to read:
“i am not apolitical; i strive to follow the politics of Jesus. indnon-participation is not the answer...if I'm not going to involve myself inthe politics of the kingdom of the world, then I better get out there andinvolve myself in the politics of the Kingdom of God (practical love ofenemy, peacemaking, care for the poor and marginalized).”
2004-09-18
my hero
my hero
Originally uploaded by liadanslyre.
just testing.
thought that mama teresa would be appropriate given what i'm thinking about lately.
she's albanian you know.
albanian's rule!
2004-09-17
a light hearted post for now...
well. i haven’t gotten to post more of my thoughts on peace, politics and justice. we’ve been staying away from our apartment and it changes my schedule and computer usage. it is a welcomed change of pace. perhaps i will be able to this weekend. no worries.
things i love about fall…
:: mums
:: ohio state football.
:: sweaters
:: the leaves turning colors.
:: school supplies.
:: sharp pencils.
:: the smell of newly sharpened pencils.
:: leave piles that you can walk through to hear the crumple of leaves.
:: good sales on dumb stuff that I don’t have the money to buy.
:: the first snow.
:: the first five minutes of raking leaves.
:: the smell of pumpkins when you’re carving them.
:: hearing the grandview band practice in dusk.
:: drinking hot cider on the stoop.
:: all things fire.
:: snuggling.
:: breaking out the down comforter.
2004-09-16
chewable vitamin
"each time a man stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope...build(ing) a current that can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance."
~ robert f. kennedy
2004-09-13
“peace is not simply the absence of conflict but the presence of justice.”
~ maureen sullivan
for our purposes here- i will take credit for this quote to appear intelligent and wise (but i didn’t really say it- i can’t find the reference).
i think we way undersell what peace even is...
(see previous post for blog post map for this week)
here’s my working definition of peace. please feel free to expand it for me…
one of the more compelling lectures I remember from vli was hearing steve robbins talk about what shalom is…
shalom is the Hebrew worked for peace right?
steve’s thesis was that peace in american Christianity is simplistic and narrow and outlined the symetic understanding of peace. he talked about how often peace is reduced to a byproduct of salvation (i.e. peace with God through Christ rom. 5.1) which that is gravy right there in my mind. he went on to coin a term “Gospel shalom”. he talked about it in terms that made me long for a paradigm shift in outreach efforts that are common in evangelicalism.
he delineated how Gospel shalom was about wholeness that extends to a persons physical being as well as their spiritual being. Gospel shalom is working to reverse the curse- praying for our physical bodies to be restored and healed; working to alleviate the shame of those who suffer, working to free our present day captives in the literal and figurative sense etc.
shalom is not a warm gushy feeling that we experience when we know Jesus. it is less of an adjective and more of a verb (yes, it’s used as an adjective- but work with me here). i don’t think it comes at the exclusion of force or intervention.
does the bible give us a precedence that peace comes at the exclusion of intervention- even if it the intervention may include force? well- i don’t know the exhaustive answer to this question. but there’s plenty of scripture that is descriptive that includes the use of force and describes wars and stuff. but in my opinion that’s not too much help.
there is also- scripture that is prescriptive and describes the means by which we know peace. the linchpin of redemptive history was the violent death and forceful intervention of Jesus on the cross. we are not saved through a blood drive. there is no sterility clean peaceful way to describe the crucifixion account. the blood that is so often in the same sentence as peace did not come our way through the pacifism of God (1 Pet. 1.2, Eph. 2.14-15, Colossians 1.20). our only hope for peace (adjective or verb) is through the cross of Jesus.
am i looking to fight? am i suggesting that we should look to be violent? i sure hope not- although i do have a disposition that likes some spice every once in a while…
please let me know what you think about this working definition.
*remember:*
“if it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”
~ rom 12.18
so please play nice with one another if you decide to utilize comments for interaction.
+++
next post (i think):
"i think it is important for christians to be part of the politcal process. the Church could easily hamstring ourselves when we put it at odds with the advancement of the Kingdom. when times arise when christians are asked to compromise on the central issues of Gospel life- then we part ways and don't shame those that choose not to."
+++
2004-09-09
peacemaking
well. sometimes i know where a post is going prior to posting it. this is not the case this evening.
i should first say, i don't really know much about the topic and honestly have only given it thought since 9/11. i had a close mennonite friend at my previous work who told me about all the great things that the mennonite central committee does around the world. as i read more about anabaptist views i was intrigued, confused, and a bit frustrated. this is definitely new territory for me.
recently,i read matt's post. he's a guy i met- who probably doesn't remember meeting me from landing place. those folks at landing place have lots of active bloggers and i always like reading them b/c i find them thoughtful. they have mennonite roots too. like i said- i love me the mennonites.
here are a couple of things i got on my mind:
- i think that working for peace does not necessarily mean you have to be a complete pacifist.
- i think those protestors during the republican national convention were funny.
- i think we way undersell what peace even is...
- i would be interested in reading about some famous christian pacifist. it is hard for me to believe that people who love something wouldn't be willing to fight for it if it were endangered.
- i think it is important for christians to be part of the politcal process. the Church could easily hamstring ourselves when we put it at odds with the advancement of the Kingdom. when times arise when christians are asked to compromise on the central issues of Gospel life- then we part ways and don't shame those that choose not to.
- i think every american christian should live in a developing country for some length of time. i think the anarchists in nyc should too.
- should christians look to politicians to advance the Kingdom of God?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
at this point- i've realized that this will be way too long of a post.
instead, i'll post by topic over the next week.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
but i do just want to say something about those protestors.
ok- so am i actually suppose to be be persuaded by this? we were at my mom's and we had cspan on. so we're watching it and i saw one of the protestors pee pee! now, i'm sorry- am i supposed to take you seriously?
for as much hatred of the current administration was brewing in nyc last week; you would've thought the anarchist's were the war mongers. here we got people breathing hate and protesting an administration of war mongering in the context of security measures, blockades, tear gas, police dogs- for the protestors. the news was predicting violent clashes.
it seems nearsighted at best- or disingenuine at worse to protest a war because you want peace and do so using violent, threatening or illegal means.
ok. that's it for now.
2004-09-08
participatory
i'm thinking about what it means to be a peacemaker in today's society.
what do you think it means and why?
tell me.
yes... YOU.
don't go.
i need your help.
pleeeeze.
this... is what got me thinking about it (this dude's post from sunday)
2004-09-06
i love me the day off
chewable vitamin
"...sometimes when we have no feeling of peace or of God's presence He is more truly present to us than He has ever been before."
~ mack daddy merton (thomas merton)
2004-09-04
my week
well it's been a pretty eventful week in the okonkwo household.
for starters...
:: i left one job
:: i started another job
:: we were separated for the first night of our marriage
:: i am learning how much more i prefer microsoft money over quicken
:: charles still cannot get his mind around why men are traditionally not included in showers (baby showers)
:: i went out with people from work on thursday night
it's been a pretty good week.
sorry i got nothing deep to share...
no profundity to expound.
i think i'm on an emotional vacation lately.
i kinda like it. actually, it's great.
i don't mean i'm numb- i mean i'm just good.
it is kinda weird though.
that's it for now.
i'm looking forward to the long weekend.
hope yours is wonderful.
peace out.
2004-09-02
chewable vitamin
"Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace.
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.
o, Divine Master, grant that i may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life."
~ st. francis
2004-08-30
chewable vitamin
"12 Now we ask you, brothers, to respect those who work hard among you, who are over you in the Lord and who admonish you. 13 Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other. 14 And we urge you, brothers, warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone. 15 Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else. 16 Be joyful always; 17 pray continually; 18 give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. " ~1 thess 5.12- 18
2004-08-27
thought of day
i have had a particularly low tolerance lately to crazy people and to assholes. i get frustrated with myself that my threshold is met quickly. this passage helps give me perspective:
"this was our course: we realized that the people who wronged us were perhaps
spiritually sick. though we did not like their symptoms and the way these
disturbed us, they, like ourselves, were sick too. we asked God to help us show
them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a
sick friend. when a person offended we said to ourselves, 'this is a sick man.
how can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done.'"
+ chapter 5: +how it works+ the big book
when someone is driving me crazy it is a symptom that they are love sick. this helps me to remember that people do not intentionally act difficult or annoying. nor do i. ok- well sometimes i do.
by and large- when people are assholes it is a sign that they need the love of God. what they don't need me telling them they are assholes. it is much easier for me to do this. it is difficult for me to love people in response to their falleness.
so basically i've been imagining crazy people and aholes in hospital gowns. i'll let you know how it works. if you try it- let me know how it works for you...
2004-08-25
chewable vitamin
"the most certain test by which we judge whether a country is really free is the amount of security enjoyed by minorities. " ~ lord acton
2004-08-24
delivery
last week we received two very welcomed and favorable answer to prayers prayed out of depseration and some amount of angst.
it is very great to report that we actually were able to pay all our bills (we have no money b/c we gave it all to the freagin INS- but that's another post) via unexpected money that we received in the mail. the prayer literally went, 'Lord, please send us money in the mail.' it was from target and i had over paid a bill.
it is also very great to report- that i got a new job! i am thrilled and relieved. many different aspects led me to look and i am very glad that i am moving into another work environment!
it is very great to feel like i'm in a different season of life. storms and deserts had become common place. i'm very grateful for the reprieve. "this to shall pass" is a slogan often used to get aa's through tight spots. not to be fatalistic- but i also realize that this (the easier seasons) too shall pass. the bad shit doesn't last forever, and neither does the good.
it is what it is. so today, i will enjoy where i'm at and not miss out.
2004-08-23
2004-08-20
do you think this** is right?
i have wondered- is there validity in choosing the wrong that is more right? is the premise bogus or is there something to this rhetoric? i don't know.
please tell me what you think.
a special shout out
to lurkers.
your participation
is requested.
** note: "this" is a link to a synopsis of a story that you can downstream. hey hey to kirsten to pointing out the confusion.
+++
chewable vitamin
"we thought that we had the answers, it was the questions we had wrong. " ~ bono
2004-08-18
chewable vitamin
"the fruit of faith is love" ~ mother teresa
2004-08-17
2004-08-16
some of the many
things i am grateful for...
:: sobriety
:: that i'm irish
:: that sobriety doesn't make me less irish
:: salvation
:: feeling forgiven from sin
:: having a conscience
:: charles
:: that i can feel loved.
:: my mom
:: my dad
:: laurel
:: the change of seasons
:: my job
:: erica handschke
:: health insurance
:: that God doesn’t need us to have His Kingdom go forward.
:: chuck close
:: my friends
:: emerson
:: aidan
:: jack
:: nora
:: maggie
:: evelyn
:: our apartment
:: the fox
:: our church
:: our small group
:: the bible
:: that i like to read the bible right now.
:: that i feel like God hears me when i pray right now.
:: that God hears me even when i don’t feel like he does.
:: for our new bed
:: that the fee for the INS application is paid.
:: my brother
:: my sister
:: U2
:: 89.7
:: 90.5
:: for our attorney
:: for peace.
:: sleep
:: that i don't feel left out of life near as much as i used to.
:: laughter
:: that I can cry.
:: that i get to vote.
:: flowers
:: that i can be responsible and do things that i don't like to do (eg: be an "adult")
:: that i am not totally ruled by my emotions anymore.
:: books
2004-08-12
2004-08-11
three years
it's been three years today since my father passed away.
i miss him so much! i can't believe that it's been that long. in many ways it feels like so much longer- and in many ways it feels like just yesterday.
tonight the sullivan clan will celebrate with grilling out, a funny movie, and black raspberry chip graeters. we will serve at faith mission this weekend. it's become our tradition to honor his life in these simple ways.
the thing that has me stuck emotionally is that my dad and charles never met. they would've enjoyed one another i think. they both are share common concern over similar people and issues in our society.
sometimes i think that getting sober competes w/ my dad's passing for the toughest thing that i've ever done. but really i think it's a combination of both... staying sober through my dad's sickness and death is the hardest thing i've ever been through.
but in the grand scale of things- it was a bittersweet time. lots of people go through shit i can't even imagine with no sweet- just bitter. i got to be with my dad and love him and hopefully give to him as his health declined. i got to say goodbye to him and be at peace together progressively. i got to learn a little more about heaven and i'm so comforted by the knowledge that life and Followership is not just hooey- we're not just food for worms. he's got a new body and no tubes. and he may just be smoking salem lights b/c he likes them not b/c he had to. the whole season was one of a handful of eras where the rubber of my faith met the road of life.
not that my faith is a prophylactic.
a little too serious there.
on a related note- i'm thinking of going to sudan for a couple of weeks. what the hell is the hold up there? we gotta define if it meets the definition of genocide? hello???
2004-08-10
unmet goals
i haven't read any of the books that i planned to read according to this list.
*swat hand*
must redirect efforts.
today...
i'm sweating out a fever ska tylonol. i am not barfing anymore- nor am i delirious. charles threw up on me saturday.
2004-08-06
pure amuzement
here are some things that i have recently stumbled upon that i thought i'd post for your daily dose of laughter.
in honor of joe's abei's glory days...
ninjas rule
pimps r us
gross....
i went to pay for cheap gas using my new favorite site at a speedway the other day. just as i walked through the door, this bald man threw up everywhere but managed to hold onto his fountain drink. is that really necessary? i mean... come on now. if one can hold onto their fountain drink- why can't you make it to the trash can?
luckily my sv/ dev (sympathetic vomiting/ domino effect vomiting syndrome) did not kick in.
the man had a scar on his head and seemed disoriented and had barf hanging off his lip. he wandered to his car, got in, and drove away.
should i have stopped him? maybe he has a head injury. i thought about this scene the rest of the evening. it was the grossest thing i've seen in a while.
2004-07-27
taulk amongest yourselves...
"it is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us. if somebody hurts us and we are sore, we are in the wrong also. but are there no exceptions to this rule? what about 'justifiable anger'? if somebody cheats us, aren't we entitled to be mad? can't we be properly angry with self-righteous folk? for us of aa these are dangerous exceptions. we have found that justified anger ought to be left to those better qualified to handle it."
~ twelve steps and twelve traditions. p.90
2004-07-26
leap
i did something somewhat daring.
what do i have to loose?
i linked to this woman who started her own business consulting not for profits.
emailed her and asked her if she mentors.
we're going to meet to discuss.
it's kinda exciting. i'm figuring out slowly; that i am responsible for my own development. so i'm gonna go for it.
i'll let you know how it goes.
2004-07-22
disconnect.
: my summer squash are sick.
: i worry that i'm posting just to post.
: they're using glue on kid's skin these days instead of stiches.
: my husband is very patient with me.
: i wonder where megan was today at the party.
: i got a gardening book w/ killer pictures.
: how do blind people know where to feel for braille on an elevator?
: that thunderstorm scared the bejeezuz out of me.
2004-07-18
i heart cheap auto repairs.
thank you Lord!
2004-07-14
2004-07-08
sometimes...
i just want to fight.
back in the day i used to fight. you know... open up a good ole' fashion can of whoop ass on someone. luckily now i only threaten tire slashing. progress not perfection as they say in the rooms.
today i feel feisty. i get sick of getting peed on. i hit my peed on quota for the month and then i want to rumble. i get grumpy, short and bent out of shape over silly things.
i think it may be called passive aggression- i'm unsure.
mental note: i don't have to feel this way. i hope as i grow up i can get better at addressing things (i.e. people who pee on me), apply forgiveness, and move on.
i have recently been extra super duper duper struck by how core it is to forgive. nothing really works without forgiveness.
i know that it's totally warped- but i'm just being honest here... i think somewhere down deep- i think forgiveness is an option not a requirement.
i get into this whole 'poor me- i've been wronged' whiny bullshit and deliberate and weigh my options.**
have mercy on me! ugh!
this is why charles is so good for me. i think that i struggle with thinking that it's cool to be young and cynical. but then i meet someone like charles. and he gets it. he gets the gospel in a way that i want to. he applys it and he's joyful and it's incredibly inspiring to me.
** ironies of ironies: when i powertrip (ugly control) and withold forgiveness- there is no other attractive option for me. ultimately it is either forgiveness or isolation via bitterness.
pardon my pep talk to myself.
2004-07-07
what i thought about fahrenheit 911**
~ by maureen okonkwo
i am very glad i went to see this movie. i think everyone should buy tickets to scooby doo 2 or whatever and sneak into see it. this movie made me think and it made me glad for the michael moore's of our society. he is an instigator who stimulates people like me to think about issues. granted- i think he's a bit of an asshole- but he is good at what he does. i think he should do a documentary on the irony of how he can whine and make films about the capitalist democratic 'regime' he lives in.
sidebar:
i always think it's kinda funny to hear people whine about our country. don't get me wrong- i don't think we're a flawless nation full of altruistic justice seeking people- but people take for granted the fact that they have a right that people fought and died to protect their freedom to whine.
anyways...
michael moore seems to be a bitter man with alot of money who works hard to come across like the guy next door. making $40K yrly. he is not the guy next store.
with all that being said- it was sobering to hear the information he had collected on the saudi bush connection. if 1/3 of the info is true- we're in bad shape.
what others are saying...
"intelligentsia"
an iraqi
**i don't like being typecast into one stereotype or another- i like to think of myself as complicated, deep and different :) so don't comment on how i'm a typical conservative or whatever. i don't know what i am and get more confused everytime i think about how i will vote in the fall.
2004-07-06
dang it!
lost the post...
we have dsl now.
the battalion comes tomorrow (charles' fond name for my brother's family)! yeehaw!
a couple of points of learning as of late...
:: praying helps my heart not become a retaliatory machine. i don't know what i would do w/o it.
:: singing in the a.m. with my husband can change my entire perspective on life and my day. it helps me not take myself too seriously.
:: i am forming deeper convictions about how to treat people via experiencing what it's like to be mistreated. good stuff.
:: what people think of me is none of my business.
later gators!
2004-07-05
2004-06-25
ok
so I have a lot of ground to cover.
i have been absent for obvious reasons. i hope my loyal readership will forgive me (basically Lori).
i don't really have any minutiae to pontificate about- and sometimes covering major life events covered via blog can become seemingly trite or unimportant when they are neither.
so i'm left wondering where to start catching you up on life. i guess I can summarize- right?
so the summary is:
i'm mad about some stuff.
i'm sad about some stuff.
and
i'm happy about some stuff.
hey- there's worse things than being vague.
i'm hoping to install the DSL at home this weekend- which means I will be back in the swing of things.
i am looking forward to a couple of things this summer.
namely:
:: my friend Cydney is getting married on the 4th of July in downtown Chicago. i've never been to a Jewish wedding and i'm highly looking forward to it.
:: i'm looking forward to more reading. i got out of the swing of it there for the last six months.
:: my garden is doing smashingly and i'm excited about the many salads is will provide us
:: i'm looking forward to settling into our apartment. we?re far from done.
:: i'm looking forward to seeing my mom who?s been in Alaska the better portion of the month. i miss her!
:: i'm hoping that we can goto NYC over Labor day.
as for our weekend... i think we will spend a significant portion of the weekend here.
2004-06-11
chewable vitamin
nothing disciplines the inordinate desires of the flesh like service, and nothing transforms the desires of the flesh like serving in hiddenness. the flesh whines against services but screams against hidden service. it strains and pulls for honor and recognition. it will devise subtle, religiously acceptable means to call attention to service rendered. if we stoutly refuse to give in to this lust of the flesh, we crucify it. every time we crucify the flesh, we crucify our pride and arrogance.
celebration of discipline. ~ richard foster
2004-05-19
2004-05-17
31
i was pleasantly surprised (although a bit ashamed that i didn't know this important date in history) to hear that my day of birth also marks the anniversary of the supreme court's ruling to desegregate schools.
conversely, i wonder if today will absorb another historic place in our country as gay couples marry. will it be our generations roe v wade?
2004-05-04
on my mind
of substance...
torture of iraqi prisoners by american soliders.
pat tilman.
apartheid too. what were we doing about this other than accusing nelson of being communist?
of little consequence...
my room.
our new bed and why this blankity blank page won't load.
who's going to ikea soon?
2004-04-28
chewable vitamin
"there is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered." ~ nelson mandela
2004-04-27
randomly
~ had a dream that i can't piece together where i was cuba gooding jr.
~ went to the best lead meeting i've been to in a long while.
~ my mom starts her treatment this weekend.
~ things are looking up from my c- day.
~ my sister seems to be feeling better but now my niecy is sick.
~ i'm glad that my boss is cool.
~ i'm glad i have health insurance.
~ that's it.
2004-04-24
daily chewable vitamin
"the man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it." ~ woodrow wilson
a c- day
i had a weird day. suffice it to say that i am still decompressing. it helped to be with laurel this evening. she is a very funny kid. she likes to run into my arms on the count of three. what kills me is she bows her head at the two count, stretches her arms staight out in front of her and runs as fast as her little legs will take her to me. like she's super man or something. she's also very suddenly into talking on the phone.
love. love gives me perspective that everything is going to be ok and that whatevers got me all uptight isn't a big deal. i love that kid.
have you ever had a reoccuring 'issue' (*imagine me making quote marks as i always do when that word is used*) or feeling? i have something i keep running into in a particular situation and it really vexes me.
this evening, i have realized the common denominator in all the situations is ME! i guess that's all i can focus on. i can loose sleep over how so and so said this and that and blah blah blah- but really all i can do is decide how i am going to respond. which is frustrating.
tis a blow to my ego that this (our world, this plot, crazy people etc) is not a pupet regime that i am actually running...
mahahaha *ring hands; smile mynically*
seriously though, i guess it's good that i am only in charge of me and not everybody else. hell- i have my hands full with me!
i'm really glad that God loves me- even when i'm the common denominator to problems. the love of God has the power to melt this common denominator... come Lord.
2004-04-23
tonight, i'm listening to a new cd.
this is the first cd i've bought in a long time. but i heard about it through my man tavis . it's safe to say that over half of the music i get turned onto comes through listening to public radio.
i tried to make dinner tonight for jess and joe. i relunctantly volunteered to make a baby meal b/c i am not very domestic. we'll see how it turns out. a baby meal is something you make for someone with a new baby so they don't have to cook. i happened to opt for lasagna and fear that i should've stuck with something i had more confidence in the outcome.
this music is pretty bitchin.
anyways, tonight, we went to chris' open house. God has made few better than chris kay. i adore that guy. he's in a season of life right now where i beg on his behalf for a break. but most of all; the grace to continue to walk no matter what.
i went to the AIDS consortium yesterday and heard about how governor taft is threatening to cut dental covereage from medicaid. i don't really like governor taft. this has some pretty big implications inside and outside the HIV community. it was sobering.
i haven't been in the habit of reading the bible lately. i don't like that this is true. i really want to be a good wife and i know the number one thing i can do to move in that direction is walk with the Lord. the best thing i can do for anybody in my life; is to cultivate my love realtionship with the Lord. on that note; my long lost friend from college and i launched a daily devotional site for us to exchange/ log thoughts on what we're reading. we'll see how it goes.
it's raining now- and there are few things better than listening to mellow music (i think tonight is a good david wilcox night) and falling asleep to the drizzle outside the window.
2004-04-21
2004-04-20
daily chewable vitamin
"no one is as capable of gratitude as one who has emerged from the kingdom of night. " ~ elie wiesel
++++++++++++++
equations:
chieftans+candles+internet= happy me.
pancakes+beer= unhappy crawford.
rain+downcomforter= good nap.
candles+something to burn= happy me.
me+new people= nervous talking.
me+anne+red door= good conversation.
your turn...
daily chewable vitamin
"one thing i know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve." ~ albert schweitzer
++++++
bullet point
> we had an incredibly productive weekend. love it!
> the dogwoods are in bloom on cambridge. i go out of my way every day to see them for this two week period.
> the docs want my mom to go on methotrexate for her rhemotoid arthristis that is now active. me no like idea of mommy on chemo. scary. she's a trooper.
> charles got a job for saturday and will do it again this coming saturday!
> relationships remind me that while i try and play like i'm all flagmatic and laid back- i'm just not.
> juggling multiple books with little success.
> opted for a very casual china for our everyday wear and i'm happy about it. atleast i think i am. when i went to hyperlink to it- i didn't like it as much. but it's chip proof, microwave safe, and dishwasher safe. it's basically very safe.
> registering has been a bit of an intimadating process. i don't know what the hell some of the stuff is on our registery that the people sign you up for (don't get me started). pie weights? come on; like a pie needs more weight.
2004-04-16
lots to cover...
well my week started with charles being hit by a bus on his bike. yes... that's right. a bus. scary to say the least. he is doing fine (was not hospitalized) and the only remnant is a little limp.
tuesday, we took our clients to see the movie, and celebrated easter afterwards. it was my first major event with our agency. while it was stressful, it went pretty well- and best of all the clients seemed to really like it.
wednesday, was a bit of an emotionally pressed day as well- but it came and went and now it is thursday.
we are preparing *our* bedroom for a fresh coat of paint. my roommate is out of town and it seems like a good weekend to do it. this evening; we did some more registering and realized at the end of our evening; our outing had cut into our show. we raced home and watched it with chris and chels.
tomorrow, should be a quiet day at the office- which will be nice b/c i'll be able to accomplish lots. lunch with anne will be the highlight i'm sure, then home to paint with charles. more painting on saturday, a saturday night outing, and some time with my family on sunday. all in all, i hope that it will be a productive weekend!
i will also send our payment for the chapel and our honeymoon tomorrow as well!
i apologies for my daily event driven blog- it's not my blogging MO- but alas, all i'm thinking about lately is what needs to be done next. no commentary, ideas or discourse to lay out until this season comes and goes.
enjoying the now,
maureen
2004-04-12
today's gratitude list**
charles didn't get hurt today
crocuses
that april showers bring may flowers
my brother's family and their generosity
my roommate for being laid back and humoring my neurosis.
the fox
the wedding coming together smoothly.
my mom
that the gas in our apartment works and it's paid.
my new job
my new boss
my new coworkers
that i'm finding meaning in the work that i do.
how green the grass seems lately
deodorant
a family to eat easter dinner with...
89.7
90.5
that i can downstream and listen to good music
that i can draw anytime i want.
evelyn has arrived
she is healthy
emerson dancing
charles not having a cynical bone in his body
my church
our small group
the nieme's
aa
watching spring storms
my sobriety
my books
faith austin is here... isn't that a great name?
chelsea's healthy pregnancy
the visual of laurel contorting her body to wave on in her bike seat w/ a helmet as big as her...
kisses
that i get to pray
coffee
that the long winter seems to be coming to an end; both literally and figuratively...
**i might seem overly grateful and although i would like to be; i'm not. i just feel like this is easy to post and i haven't' posted much lately b/c it takes some time and i don't have a lot of it. this is easiest right now (b/c it is supposed to a regular 'assignment' for people in recovery).
2004-04-06
2004-04-04
lagging behind
lots going on these days... it has been difficult to log all the different things that are happening in and around me!
first off- evelyn abei arrive wednesday at 7lbs 11 ounces. full head of hair. she did not however, come out w/ makeup on- as her mom promised.
second off- we moved the date up and i'm thrilled about that too.
third off- i went to laurel's birthday party today. she got a barbie jeep. not from me.
fourth off- my mom and i went through my dad's clothes to give to charles. things were given based on the quality of clothing- but moreso if they had a story behind them. it was wonderful to reminisce. he got all the remaining looney toons socks that helped my dad not take himself too seriously (by his admission). i miss him very very much.
fifth off- i got off the phone with my sister-in-law andrea who is estatic to have the wedding in nashville.
sixth off- i got a dress and i love it.
seventh off- we had an incredibly difficult conversation with my sponsor who disapproves of inter-racial marriage. i got very angry. charles showed his true colors by graciously refusing to stoop or give rebuttal to the ignorance of the argument. he's such a good man.
eigth off- i love the kays.
ninth off- i am realizing the 'justifiable resentments' are hooey for me.
tenth off- i will probably need to do a fifth step after this wedding season. but maybe if i actually worked the tenth step daily and remembered to confess my sin throughout the day; things would go smoother.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
laurel
i love it when laurel rings her hands, bows her head and squeels with excitement.
i love it when laurel says charles' name.
i love it when laurel dances with the wiggles- although i hate the wiggles
i love it when laurel makes me dance with the wiggles; although i hate the wiggles.
i love it when laurel sees my sister and runs into her arms.
i love it when laurel does the 'three little monkeys' hand motions with vigor and enthusiasim.
i love it when laurel insists on everyone in the room giving her a high five.
i love her so much! she's the best!
happy 2nd brithday!
2004-03-30
my mom
my mom turns 39 today!
happy birthday mommy!
ok... she's not 39- but it is her birthday!
my mom is one of a kind. she's super cute and has a slight east coast accent. she has the most interesting hands, she is supurb second grade teacher, she gives her grandkids wonderful books to read. she corrects my grammer and when i curse as well.
she is incredibly intelligent and we talk politics often. she challenges me to put my money where my mouth is- not by lecturing but by showing. she has toutored inner city kids, has lived in the inner city, and has welcomed people from all different backgrounds to our home.
she is very strong... she lost my dad over two years ago and embraces missing him terribly and living life to the fullest in a way that is inspiring and models grief for me. she laughs at my jokes, loves me when i'm being stubborn, rejoices with me when i'm happy, crys with me when i'm hurt, and always wants to brush my curly hair. she has been patient with me as i grow nicer and more moderate and less know-it all-ish.
i know that moms are supposed to do this kind of thing; but i am very grateful that God gave me my mom for a mom. i think she does an exceptional job
2004-03-29
today's mantra
process not product
process not product
process not product
process not product
process not product
process not product
process not product
+++
what contributes to our phobia to 'failure'?
the hyperlink article describes some of my experience through schooling and the practice of art making; it has had a squelching effect on creativity in my life.
but there are other contexts that this applies to as well. my spiritual life for one. i seriously wonder if the Lord will tell us it's tragic that we missed the whole point down here.
why is it that success is defined like this? and when did that happen? (this is when i want to pick up some linguistic book or philosophy of linguistics)
i know that we need something to aim for... but it seems like spiritual life has bought into a bunch of bullshit- making it far from counter cultural.
sometimes i just get depressed by how not different things are for the Church and worse yet- my life in particular.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
chewable vitamin
"my heroes are the ones who survived doing it wrong, who made mistakes, but recovered from them." ~ bono
2004-03-27
announcing
my friend lori is blogging.
2004-03-25
my gratitude list
i can talk to the Lord anytime
that He gets me
that he doesn't think of me as 'work'.
my sobriety
forgiveness for all the timess i botch it.
my ears work
my legs work
charles
my mom
charles' smile
charles' wisdom
my church
my sister's surgery going well
my neicy laurel
maggie
nora
aidan
jack
matt
andrea
brian
my dad's life
the process of saying goodbye to my dad
the dogwoods on cambridge
my new job
health insurance
dental insurance
my 403b contribution is starting again
overdraft protection
the fox
chris
chels
emerson
their house
their generousity
eveline
jess
joe
books
u2
music
laurie
chad
aliya
i'm alive
that my feelings get hurt sometimes
that i'm not in jail.
that my record is cleared
my time in albania
i'm in touch with lori again
tristan
i think it would be great if what i could live a consitant life where i lived in line with my 'convictions'. it's much harder to do that than i thought. i spend too much time talking about what i think instead of doing it. i drive me batty sometimes.
~~~~~~~~~~
chewable vitamin
"out of our quarrels with others we make rhetoric. out of our quarrels with ourselves we make poetry." ~ william butler yeats
2004-03-23
streams
:: spring is the best. i can think of nothing negative about it.
:: charles makes me smile. i have been diagnosed with chronic smiling
:: i've given up on following the presidential campaigns. it makes politics resemble a high brow second grade recess name calling match.
:: i hope my sister is sleeping well tonight. she is recouping from surgery. please pray for her if you think of it.
:: my niecey learned how to throw things up in the air. i am very proud of her.
:: i am very tired right now.
:: it's still very effin cold in this room of mine.
:: i wonder if the bookloft has a wedding registery.
:: i hope my first attempt at gardening goes ok this season and that the bastard animals don' highjack it. down w/ squirrels.
of conscientiousness.
2004-03-22
chewable vitamin
"he who has never hoped can never despair." ~ george bernard shaw
2004-03-18
worried and praying.
2004-03-17
chewable vitamin
"The power of God to guide me,
The might of God to uphold me,
The wisdom of God to teach me,
The eye of God to watch over me,
The ear of God to hear me,
The word of God to give me speech,
The hand of God to protect me,
The way of God to go before me,
The shield of God to shelter me....
Christ be with me, Christ before me,
Christ behind me, Christ within me,
Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ at my right, Christ at my left,
Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of every man who speaks to me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me."
~ st. patrick
chewable vitamin
"laughter is wine for the soul -- laugh soft, or loud and deep, tinged through with seriousness. comedy and tragedy step through life together, arm in arm... once we can laugh, we can live." ~ sean o’casey
2004-03-16
cliff notes to the weekend
i’ve had an eventful couple of days! here’s an overview:
i spent a long weekend in chicago. i left friday to pick up charles in cleveland and then headed onward to the windy city.
we covered lots of ground during our trip...
:: we stayed with a dear friend and her husband and got to bond with their new son. charles passed the interview.
:: my older brother and his clan were in the area as well and we met up with them for some bowling.
:: on our way out of town, we ate breakfast with college friends who recently moved for a job.
it was a great way to reunite w/ charles. we also got some dr. brown's black cherry at this landmark upon cydney's recommendation (she's a skokie native).
one of the more notable things about our evening w/ the nashvillian sully's was the growth of feet for my nephew aidan. not only is he growing like a weed- he has two new teeth to boot! unbelievable! it is so cool to watch these kids grow up.
last, but not least; i accepted a job offer! i start my new job monday (march 22nd). i'm soooo grateful and relieved! although i am nervous that the pay cut may leave a mark.
2004-03-11
chewable vitamin
"real isn't how you are made," said the skin horse. "it's a thing that happens to you. when a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real." "does it hurt?" asked the rabbit. "sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "when you are Real you don't mind being hurt." "does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?" "it doesn't happen all at once," said the skin horse. "you become. it takes a long time. that's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. but these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."
> margery williams, from the velveteen rabbit
2004-03-09
chewable vitamin
"far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat." ~ teddy roosevelt 1899
evening mosey
last night, i went down to german villiage for some time to think, read, pray, journal and plan. it was very refreshing. then, i went to the book loft. i try to make this a monthly ritual but have fallen out of practice since the holidays. i booked my next linger for april. hopefully, i will get back into my pattern. i need time to linger and not have an agenda.
2004-03-08
shout out to chelsea
it's my friend chelsea's birthday today!
well, where shall i start? a fond memory? a funny story? an embarrassing moment? hmmmm....
how about a top ten list...
top ten things i appreciate about chelsea
> she thinks well but is connected to her emotions.
> chelsea welcomes me into her family and includes me.
> she loves jesus and gives me courage to love Him more.
> chelsea's relationship with her son. it's so motivating to watch.
> she challenges me and helps me tease out thoughts that are sometimes fuzzy.
> chelsea shares herself with me and lets me know her.
> she likes art like i like art.
> chelsea is a great story teller.
> she loves me and tells me so...
> chelsea is not canned. she's the real deal.
2004-03-05
i'm still sad
well. it's seeped into today. it has been previously established in the blogdom that *this* is not a place to emote. i am now processed over my current sadness. so i can say that the conclusion to this process is:
it is hard when i have read and am taught that the christian expereince is supposed to be 'revolutionary' and counter cultural, when my expereince falls short of that description. i feel very alone in the problems that charles and i face. i understand cognitively that we are not; but it hasen't managed to improve my mood. i know the disparities between what i hear and what i expereince are simply evidences of the already and the not yet- but still; it is difficult.
+++ come Lord heal.
+++ come Lord provide.
+++ You have won. show me your victory.
2004-03-04
my better half
i finally knows what that means. charles obugo okonkwo excels far beyond me in most of life. he's definately my better in the really important parts of life. i can't believe that God has given me the gift of him.
~~~~~~~~~
i had a rough day. actually a rough latter half of the day-
i'm learning to not classify whole days. if something bad happens; maybe it can just be isolated to a bad couple of hours. i'll let you know how this theory works out.
this evening's time with a little boy named emerson helped redeem the crappy part to make it more bearable. we danced together.
i'm into these squigglies.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
here's what is giving me peace tonight...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
chewable vitamin
Rev. 7.9-13; 15-17
9After this I saw a vast crowd, too great to count, from every nation and tribe and people and language, standing in front of the throne and before the Lamb. They were clothed in white and held palm branches in their hands. 10And they were shouting with a mighty shout, "Salvation comes from our God on the throne and from the Lamb!"
11And all the angels were standing around the throne and around the elders and the four living beings. And they fell face down before the throne and worshiped God. 12They said,
"Amen! Blessing and glory and wisdom
and thanksgiving and honor and power and strength
belong to our God forever and forever. Amen!"…
15That is why they are standing in front of the throne of God, serving him day and night in his Temple. And he who sits on the throne will live among them and shelter them. 16They will never again be hungry or thirsty, and they will be fully protected from the scorching noontime heat. 17For the Lamb who stands in front of the throne will be their Shepherd. He will lead them to the springs of life-giving water. And God will wipe away all their tears."
2004-03-03
this quote seemed sutiable for the season. oh- how i wish there was another way...
chewable vitamin
"without struggle you cannot obtain the crown of patience, and if you refuse to suffer you are refusing the crown. but if you desire to be crowned, fight bravely and bear up patiently. without labor there is no rest, and without fighting, no victory."
~ a kempis
2004-03-01
urban legend confirmed
it's a widley known urban legend that there is a functioning brothel in grandview city limits. this weekend, an adventure confirmed this information. on a dare (a dare that is floated often in my friend circle- (sick but true)); i found out that this random building is actually a functioning brothel.
fulfilling the dare was very anticlimatic. it dampered our spirits the rest of the evening to find out this *thing* that we thought might be true and the mystery surrounding it; has no mystique- no fun, no adventure. it breaks my heart.
