baby on brain

hello world.

i hope you are well. i am looking forward to autumn coming in full swing. other than that- my thoughts consist mostly about being a mom. which i don't think is the kind of thing that people find interesting to read. but it's the truth- i got baby on the brain. pregnancy has been quite revealing to me. sometimes i think i love it- the intensity the realness of everything. my senses are heightened and i experience life so differently. other times it is something i prefer to never relive.

i'm sure that i've always been self absorbed and have had some awareness that i had it in me- but that too- seems to be unusually acute. all and all i am very sure that i know less now in life than ever before in my adulthood. i really and truly have no idea what we've gotten ourselves into. it seems that we have entered the twilight zone. i know they say it's normal, but i think i thought i knew more than i actually do- and i am just now realizing it.

charles tells me not to worry- all we have to do is feed the baby and clean it. i find this incredibly endearing and a bit of perspective that while parenting is a responsibility- we can only do so much as a mom and a dad. i always thought that parents were supposed to save the world. perhaps this explains some of the disconnect i've expereinced w/ my own flawed but wonderful parents.

charles also tells me that i am dealing with pregnancy like 'a strong african woman'. which i find to be so encouraging and wonderful.

that's it for now.

bye!