world aids day

i have reached my quota of downer stories about africa. i read a story in a major publication that sent me over the edge. i read these desperatley awful stories and see pictures of kids w/ no shoes and snot on their face and wonder- 'who are these people publishing these stories?' if i read one more i might jump off a cliff.

the article today was the relationship between hiv/aids infection and pedolphilia in african culture. granted- this is from a publication i can think of one time in the last five years where i read of an equally well covered and long story about american's addition to child pornogrpahy.

i am sick of it.

part of me is sick of it b/c charles has told me on several occassions how rare of an instance it is for a pedophile to exist let alone continue to live in a community. they kill people for that shit where charles comes from. but somehow- this makes the front page today? it's bullshit. it's bullshit b/c i don't beleive it refleccts the norm and it's bullshit b/c consider the source... i would fathom that our fellow citizens make up 75% of the sex tourist patronage in the world amongest little kids. but somehow we as a country collectively publish, read and perhaps believe w/o a thought about those poor african bastards who are spreading aids.

don't get me wrong. there are devastating stories about africa but there are hopeful ones too. and i think i'm going to find some and write about them here. and people like kirsten, lyndi, charles and me might make our own hopeful stories some day and put an end to explotative downer stories that contribute to america's condesending and disgustingly opprotunisitc views of the continent.

it is just now dawning on me that i'm going to raise a kid in this society (i know- i'm a slow learner) and that constance ebela will have to navigate through people's misconceptions and ignorance. all in the face of appauling hypocricy amongest those from majority culture that judge what is developed and undeveloped. what is civilized and uncivilized.

and i think the idea of being a parent (or one of them) is to model how one should deal with those misconceptions, ignorance and hypocricy. prayerfully constance will deal w/ it more gracefully than her mom.

god have mercy.

chewable vitamin:
"true dignity is never gained by place, and never lost when honors are withdrawn."
~ phillip massinger