2007 recap

highlights, lowlights and middlelights.

january:

constance.

what can i say about constance ebelechukwu? here's a pic that describes what has happened since she arrived:



i cannot say how my heart has grown this past year. when i think about my heart in 2006 and what the gift of our daughter's presence has done to my heart in 2007- it seriously seems to me that my heart was teeny tiny and now might outgrow the physical confines of my body b/c of this kid.

constance has been a wonderful blessed addition to our family. she is laid back, inquisitive, an observer and insanely gorgeous. she trips over her eyelashes and loves to sing and dance. she truly seems to have a wonderful mix of both charles and me. she also seems to have been given our tenacity/stubbornness (depending on which side of redemption you look at it).

here are some of my more favorite pics:


this one doesn't need a caption...




our igbo woman

february:

snow boobs.

there are no pics on this one. all i remember about february was that it snowed a lot and my boobs hurt. and i barely slept. kinda all a blur.

march:

good riddens.

march- i was still on maternity leave and found out over lunch w/ my boss that my job had been 'eliminated'. which was fine all the same- b/c i would of preferred a dull blade to dig our my finger nails to return to work there after maternity leave. my time there was tenuous but purposeful. it was also very very stressful with the regular fifty five to sixty hour week throughout my pregnancy.

in twelve step literature there are a series of promises or guarantees for those that work all twelve of the steps in their day to day lives. one that sums up this experience is that 'God does for us what we could not do for ourselves...' we (as a couple) could never have agreed for me to leave that job for a variety of reasons- but being fired allowed me to part ways (albeit not on my terms- but good terms nonetheless) and collect- UNEMPLOYMENT WAGES. the nine months that ensued have been spent getting to know constance which has been a blessing!

april:

sold the fox



for the second time in our married life- we became a one car family. and why not? i didn't have to goto work and gas prices began their dreadful ascent.

i also discovered my love affair w/ power washers.

may:

i had a second breast cyst removed this month and planted our first garden and did lots of landscaping and shaping here at 937. the cyst was somewhat stressful- but not nearly so w/ the first time i got one and required a biopsy and all that rigmarole.

so... the garden-





the immortal eyonomous i tried to kill- but am now glad is still alive.

i cut this down to the stump in april and these are the pictures of it in july. my sister-in-law says it is a manhattan euonymus that attracts house flies. lucky us. she adviced that i leave it for another year and see what happens.


tomato representin'! early in the season w/ disappointing yield.

i also did two types of oregano, basil, rosemary, broccoli, peppers st. john's wort all of which did really well. my composting is finally paying off.

the broccoli did well. three plants total. we had a little bunny who often devoured it's fruits. charles kept threatening to shoot and eat the little bunny bastard- but didn't. i was both relieved and disappointed at the same time.

i have had a sorted history with plants. i love them- but mostly i am good at killing them. i have recently thought about doing the master gardener program through ohio state extension. the typical demographic for this program are retirees. i don't know weather to laugh or cry.

i almost killed the st john's wort but it was ressurected and eventually flourished. i did manage to kill a rose bush this summer. i don't want to dig it our prematurely- we'll see what next year holds. maybe it will be resurrected as well- but i have a feeling the rose bush is just a bitch diva.

i have a three stage landscaping plan for the back yard. it is in stages b/c we're on a tight budget. maybe sometime i'll post my drawings of the plan.

june:

• dedication. i already wrote and posted pics about this huge event. it was a wonderful day and instilled in me a gratitude for the privilege and responsibility to be a parent!
• we also went to boston for a brief vacation.
• my mom also had her shoulder replaced. this was quite a big ordeal- and she was a trooper! she is recovering well. she has rheumatoid arthritis and it looks like she will need replacement for her other shoulder. stink!

july:

the most notable thing that happened this month was a visit from my brother's family.
that's all i got on july.

august:

• my next step vocationally was solidified this month when i decided to get my certificate to teach kids with special needs.

september:

• i couldn't think of anything notable for september.

october:

nigeria.



one thing that i have not written about nigeria is how much we grew as a married couple because of this trip. i have said to a couple of friends that i kept thinking throughout the trip about that passage of scripture from ruth ' your people will be my people; where you will stay i will stay; where you will die i will die'...

having a baby with charles made me fall in love with him at a new level- but seeing him in nigeria was so good for me and our marriage. the romanticism of 'PLANTING a CHURCH in LAGOS' (if i had teddy bear icons and kisses i would put them here)- is gone. instead i have an abiding sense, conviction and burden to the life work that we have to nigeria both while we're here and when we live there.

november:


my first turkey. i brined it and it was good.



someone was sick in our house pretty much everyday in november. first me- then constance, then charles. i hate being sick. we also didn't have a computer during november. and my unemployment benefits ran dry.

regardless of these downers- we did have a great thanksgiving and managed to get some nice pics.

december:

• i began working three days a week for a friend cleaning houses ) which you may of read about our adventures in previous posts).
• i finished christmas shopping the earliest ever (mainly b/c i did most of it in nigeria).
• i found a job that i am hopeful is an answer to prayer!

overall

we have so much to be grateful for! last years favorite phrase (MAKE SWEET SWEET LOVE) varies greatly from this year's favorite phrase (UNEMPLOYMENT WAGES). it has been a year of blessing and love all the same! we are very grateful!

other favorites include:

favorite book: runaway bunny
favorite song: what a merciful god (our lullaby)
favorite authors i discovered: miroslav volf and joan chittister

the cult of mac

i found this hilarious. hope you like it too.

38 things i love about charles

1. his smile
2. his heart for jesus
3. his heart for constance
4. his heart for me
5. how he loves his mom.
6. how he loves my mom.
7. how he attempts to use american english idioms.
8. how his first response to nearly any quandary is to pray.
9. that he looks more like 28 than 38.
10. that he has a burden for african americans and respects their experience here in our country(which can be rare in africans).
11. how he is indiscriminate when it comes to things i pass off as a matter of 'taste' when it comes to church. i've not heard him say he prefers one preacher over another or one worship leader over another. he just affirms that they are his brother/sister and have the Spirit of God and says that's what matters.
12. how he says often when the topic of my dad comes up, 'i can't wait to meet him'
13. how he sings when he's doing chores around the house or shaving.
14. his generosity.
15. his view of the purpose of money.
16. his ability to articulate the less than respectful views that americans sometime hold about africa.
17. his sense of justice; the longing for the 'not yet'
18. but also that he moves to act justly NOW.
19. his love for mercy for people that might be invisible to me.
20. how thorough he is when he cleans things around the house.
21. how he affirmed me throughout my pregnancy with constance.
22. that he loves doing constance's hair.
23. he is a very hard worker.
24. how interesting he is to talk to about nearly any topic.
25. how book smart he is.
26. how easy he is to please with christmas gifts/gifts in general.
27. his genuine desire to make me happy.
28. the role he plays in his family as a peacemaker- whose not scared of conflict but diffuses situations that might otherwise be combustible.
29. how he dances for constance to make her laugh.
30. how he dances for me to make me laugh.
31. that he love nigeria even though many people loose their love after immigrating to america.
32. that he's committed to providing for our family.
33. his butt.
34. how he can fall asleep almost anywhere within a minute.
35. he doesn't know how to be cynical.
    
36. how committed he is to grow spiritually and intellectually as an individual.
37. how committed he is for our marriage to grow in these same ways.
38. the friend he is to me and many!

h a p p y

b i r t h d a y

c h a r l e s

i l o v e y o u!

christmas wish list

maybe you can relate to this...

• hold husband responsible to know what i need or want through mind reading and e.s.p.
• fault husband when and claim it is unromantic when you have to tell him what you want or need.

so... i love surprises. but b/c i have a huge affinity and propensity to resentment; as a couple have had to alter some of our strategies in gift giving. basically, i make charles a list of things that he could hit a homerun (pun intended) with if he gave it to me as a gift. this does not make charles less of a good husband. in fact, the more i live with myself; the more i realize that it makes him a good husband b/c he forebears with this high(er) maintance neurotic thing in my personality.

typically, we get try to make a bigger deal of birthdays and keep christmas more simple. later this week- i'll tell you what i got for charles' birthday (he turns 38 on the 22nd).

here we go:


i like these mundi crossses.

prayer book

anything from this store

any of the prints from this artist that i saw at winterfair...



nothings say as i love you like shopvacs...
every girl needs a powerdrill and a shopvac

in other news, constance had her first projectile vomit yesterday. in the car. all over her car seat. and herself. and me. you wouldn't think an 18lbs infant could store that much liquid/runny stuff- but alas- she can! all is well. my verdict is that she was overheated in this cocoon type thing we use in her car seat. but we've error-ed on the cautious side and stuck to porridge and bananas.

the victory here is that i didn not puke when she puked. i've heard of this phenomena (being immune to your own kids puke); but b/c i've suffered for years from domino effect puking disorder (DPD)- i was skeptical. i had hints that i had been healed of DPD after both buckley boys puked on me (or in my immediate vicinity) on separate occasions.

i made a little purchase of my own this weekend. my palm pilot died last year and i've gone back to keeping track of things and scheduling with old fashioned paper and pen. therefore the coming year requires i be prepared. i got one of these and have loved it this year- so i got another!

miscellany

we went to a nice potluck event last weekend. the monthly meeting is organized by a group called 'interracial families in friendship'. while most of the families are interracial by adoption; it was still encouraging to see others that had a different family setting than most. i look forward to going again and am excited for the prospect of constance having some playmates that have a different racial makeup.

i have an a couple of irons in the fire employment wise that appear hopeful. most encouraging is arise.com which is a third party customer service agency for barnes and noble. please pray that something would materialize soon that would be schedule sensitive and profitable.

some other things to note are:

• if i haven't mentioned this already- the new cutest thing ever that constance does is nurse while sitting down.
• can someone confirm that alec baldwin is the voice on thomas the tank engine? what a weird repertoire. thomas and thirty rock. odd.
• constance is officially crawling- although it is very slow and methodical.
  

FABULOSO!!!! i'm a bigot

well i've had this job a week and i think it might be the end of me. it gives an immediate solution to the immediate challenge to our cash flow 'issues'- so i know i'm supposed to be grateful. i worked for this woman throughout college- but i'd forgotten how weird cleaning other people's crapola can be. i've also forgotten the interesting and varied demographic that this woman tends to employ. i must of asked myself half a dozen times a day what the hell i'm doing working this job.

have you ever had a flood of self knowledge take you off guard? that's what has happened this week. in this brief time i have seen some beliefs that i hold that i believe offend Jesus. it is sobering to get to know yourself at a new level.

first- our clients. for starters, it seems that our clientel are wealthy folk. we clean thoughout the city- but have many jobs are at all these new build condos; miranova, the dakota, jeffery place. apparently, being rich does not exempt you from the ability to be completely disgusting. rich men cannot aim their urine any better than poor ones. the hair in the shower drain? don't get me started. balding and hair loss don't discriminate. and neither does the inability to clean your own damn shower drain.

i haven't even gotten to my co-workers... oye. ironically, this job has revealed some deep seated prejudices that i have held. when i worked for this woman when i first got sober and had started to know Jesus; i came as a full blown bigot. i knew pretty quickly that Jesus didn't like the way i made fun of gay people. i guess you could say i was a gay basher. but i quickly knew it didn't sync w/ Jesus. i knew this b/c i actually became friends w/ the guys i cleaned with who were all gay. it's hard to make fun of a group of people when you get to make friends with people from that group. the Lord began to give me His heart for gay people.

since that time i have 'evolved' and rationalized other types of prejudices i have against different people. luckily; the Lord has put me in regular contact with my hold out groups. i gasp at people's ignorance when they say things about gay people, or black people or jewish people.

i have plenty of ignorant ideas of my own that i have rationalized and God has been asking me to turn from. i snidely laugh at my clever remarks about thomas kinkade, precious moments, the (not so) tasteful use of gingham, the use of double negatives, and chewing tobacco among women coworkers. i wrongly attach value to the excess or lack of money and education.

i can only pray that God continues to have mercy on me and give me- ever so slowly a heart for more of the people He loves and cares for so deeply. i still have a lot of stone in my heart. in the same breath- i would like to learn my lesson and move on.

on a lighter note- some other things i have learned are:

• FABULOSO! is my new favorite product.
• soft scrub works great on electric flat stove tops.
• i tried a dyson- i'm sorry to report that it was very anticlimactic and it did not change my life.