FABULOSO!!!! i'm a bigot

well i've had this job a week and i think it might be the end of me. it gives an immediate solution to the immediate challenge to our cash flow 'issues'- so i know i'm supposed to be grateful. i worked for this woman throughout college- but i'd forgotten how weird cleaning other people's crapola can be. i've also forgotten the interesting and varied demographic that this woman tends to employ. i must of asked myself half a dozen times a day what the hell i'm doing working this job.

have you ever had a flood of self knowledge take you off guard? that's what has happened this week. in this brief time i have seen some beliefs that i hold that i believe offend Jesus. it is sobering to get to know yourself at a new level.

first- our clients. for starters, it seems that our clientel are wealthy folk. we clean thoughout the city- but have many jobs are at all these new build condos; miranova, the dakota, jeffery place. apparently, being rich does not exempt you from the ability to be completely disgusting. rich men cannot aim their urine any better than poor ones. the hair in the shower drain? don't get me started. balding and hair loss don't discriminate. and neither does the inability to clean your own damn shower drain.

i haven't even gotten to my co-workers... oye. ironically, this job has revealed some deep seated prejudices that i have held. when i worked for this woman when i first got sober and had started to know Jesus; i came as a full blown bigot. i knew pretty quickly that Jesus didn't like the way i made fun of gay people. i guess you could say i was a gay basher. but i quickly knew it didn't sync w/ Jesus. i knew this b/c i actually became friends w/ the guys i cleaned with who were all gay. it's hard to make fun of a group of people when you get to make friends with people from that group. the Lord began to give me His heart for gay people.

since that time i have 'evolved' and rationalized other types of prejudices i have against different people. luckily; the Lord has put me in regular contact with my hold out groups. i gasp at people's ignorance when they say things about gay people, or black people or jewish people.

i have plenty of ignorant ideas of my own that i have rationalized and God has been asking me to turn from. i snidely laugh at my clever remarks about thomas kinkade, precious moments, the (not so) tasteful use of gingham, the use of double negatives, and chewing tobacco among women coworkers. i wrongly attach value to the excess or lack of money and education.

i can only pray that God continues to have mercy on me and give me- ever so slowly a heart for more of the people He loves and cares for so deeply. i still have a lot of stone in my heart. in the same breath- i would like to learn my lesson and move on.

on a lighter note- some other things i have learned are:

• FABULOSO! is my new favorite product.
• soft scrub works great on electric flat stove tops.
• i tried a dyson- i'm sorry to report that it was very anticlimactic and it did not change my life.