liadanslyre

frankie, aids, kingdom, and heaven...

this time last year- i walked with my friend frankie through the final months of his life. there's something so special about being with the dying. it seems almost too special to put on a stupid post. now granted; i've only been with a handful of people who are in serious decline.

but the thing that sticks out in my memory (and has been pestering my conscience lately) about the process of passing from this life to the next; is the zealous tone that folks talk about Jesus. i remember frankie talking about his life and denouncing things he used to embrace in exchange for the beauty of Jesus. i think it's b/c the Lord was near to frankie. same with my dad. he would share with nurses and draw maps to church while he was all doped up. the urgency and insistence was/is convicting to me.

it's convicting to me b/c i share my faith and stuff- but i always get tripped up- worried that i might offend or the message not perceived as relevant or this kind of hooey. i also get sidetracked critiquing other's methods. oye. i tire myself sometimes. i'm actually snobby and intellectually elitist about it. i mean seriously... i think it takes alot of balls to verbalize critiquing of other's evangelistic efforts. I mean- i got my hands full w/ myself. no need to worry and meddle in other's choices and methods.

i like that bumper sticker i'm seeing lately of, 'focus on your own family'. this doesn't make me a communist by the way. i know the background and the spoof- but my point is that i need to do what Jesus has asked of me (which what's sticking out to me lately; is i need to really go for it when it comes to talking about my relationship w/ Jesus). doing what Jesus asks of me would likely keep me pretty challenged if not busy. and if i yield to the things that the Lord asks of me and cooperate instead of dig my heels in; pretty free of judgment and trying to manage the world.

so, thank you frankie for teaching me about what it means to be not ashamed of the Gospel. it truly is the power of God for the salvation of everyone.

today's chewable vitamin:
"God has not been trying an experiment on my faith or love in order to find out their quality. He knew it already. it was i who didn't. in this trial He makes us occupy the dock, the witness box, and the bench all at once. He always knew that my temple was a house of cards. He only way of making me realize the fact was to knock it down."
~c.s. lewis from a grief observed.