chewable vitamin

"there is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered." ~ nelson mandela

randomly

~ had a dream that i can't piece together where i was cuba gooding jr.
~ went to the best lead meeting i've been to in a long while.
~ my mom starts her treatment this weekend.
~ things are looking up from my c- day.
~ my sister seems to be feeling better but now my niecy is sick.
~ i'm glad that my boss is cool.
~ i'm glad i have health insurance.
~ that's it.

daily chewable vitamin
"the man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it." ~ woodrow wilson

a c- day
i had a weird day. suffice it to say that i am still decompressing. it helped to be with laurel this evening. she is a very funny kid. she likes to run into my arms on the count of three. what kills me is she bows her head at the two count, stretches her arms staight out in front of her and runs as fast as her little legs will take her to me. like she's super man or something. she's also very suddenly into talking on the phone.

love. love gives me perspective that everything is going to be ok and that whatevers got me all uptight isn't a big deal. i love that kid.

have you ever had a reoccuring 'issue' (*imagine me making quote marks as i always do when that word is used*) or feeling? i have something i keep running into in a particular situation and it really vexes me.

this evening, i have realized the common denominator in all the situations is ME! i guess that's all i can focus on. i can loose sleep over how so and so said this and that and blah blah blah- but really all i can do is decide how i am going to respond. which is frustrating.

tis a blow to my ego that this (our world, this plot, crazy people etc) is not a pupet regime that i am actually running...

mahahaha *ring hands; smile mynically*

seriously though, i guess it's good that i am only in charge of me and not everybody else. hell- i have my hands full with me!

i'm really glad that God loves me- even when i'm the common denominator to problems. the love of God has the power to melt this common denominator... come Lord.

tonight, i'm listening to a new cd.

this is the first cd i've bought in a long time. but i heard about it through my man tavis . it's safe to say that over half of the music i get turned onto comes through listening to public radio.

i tried to make dinner tonight for jess and joe. i relunctantly volunteered to make a baby meal b/c i am not very domestic. we'll see how it turns out. a baby meal is something you make for someone with a new baby so they don't have to cook. i happened to opt for lasagna and fear that i should've stuck with something i had more confidence in the outcome.

this music is pretty bitchin.

anyways, tonight, we went to chris' open house. God has made few better than chris kay. i adore that guy. he's in a season of life right now where i beg on his behalf for a break. but most of all; the grace to continue to walk no matter what.

i went to the AIDS consortium yesterday and heard about how governor taft is threatening to cut dental covereage from medicaid. i don't really like governor taft. this has some pretty big implications inside and outside the HIV community. it was sobering.

i haven't been in the habit of reading the bible lately. i don't like that this is true. i really want to be a good wife and i know the number one thing i can do to move in that direction is walk with the Lord. the best thing i can do for anybody in my life; is to cultivate my love realtionship with the Lord. on that note; my long lost friend from college and i launched a daily devotional site for us to exchange/ log thoughts on what we're reading. we'll see how it goes.

it's raining now- and there are few things better than listening to mellow music (i think tonight is a good david wilcox night) and falling asleep to the drizzle outside the window.

daily chewable vitamin
to choke down

'we buy things that we do not want to impress people we do not like'
~ arthor gish

daily chewable vitamin
"no one is as capable of gratitude as one who has emerged from the kingdom of night. " ~ elie wiesel

++++++++++++++

equations:
chieftans+candles+internet= happy me.
pancakes+beer= unhappy crawford.
rain+downcomforter= good nap.
candles+something to burn= happy me.
me+new people= nervous talking.
me+anne+red door= good conversation.

your turn...

daily chewable vitamin
"one thing i know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve." ~ albert schweitzer

++++++

bullet point
> we had an incredibly productive weekend. love it!
> the dogwoods are in bloom on cambridge. i go out of my way every day to see them for this two week period.
> the docs want my mom to go on methotrexate for her rhemotoid arthristis that is now active. me no like idea of mommy on chemo. scary. she's a trooper.
> charles got a job for saturday and will do it again this coming saturday!
> relationships remind me that while i try and play like i'm all flagmatic and laid back- i'm just not.
> juggling multiple books with little success.
> opted for a very casual china for our everyday wear and i'm happy about it. atleast i think i am. when i went to hyperlink to it- i didn't like it as much. but it's chip proof, microwave safe, and dishwasher safe. it's basically very safe.
> registering has been a bit of an intimadating process. i don't know what the hell some of the stuff is on our registery that the people sign you up for (don't get me started). pie weights? come on; like a pie needs more weight.

lots to cover...

well my week started with charles being hit by a bus on his bike. yes... that's right. a bus. scary to say the least. he is doing fine (was not hospitalized) and the only remnant is a little limp.

tuesday, we took our clients to see the movie, and celebrated easter afterwards. it was my first major event with our agency. while it was stressful, it went pretty well- and best of all the clients seemed to really like it.

wednesday, was a bit of an emotionally pressed day as well- but it came and went and now it is thursday.

we are preparing *our* bedroom for a fresh coat of paint. my roommate is out of town and it seems like a good weekend to do it. this evening; we did some more registering and realized at the end of our evening; our outing had cut into our show. we raced home and watched it with chris and chels.

tomorrow, should be a quiet day at the office- which will be nice b/c i'll be able to accomplish lots. lunch with anne will be the highlight i'm sure, then home to paint with charles. more painting on saturday, a saturday night outing, and some time with my family on sunday. all in all, i hope that it will be a productive weekend!

i will also send our payment for the chapel and our honeymoon tomorrow as well!

i apologies for my daily event driven blog- it's not my blogging MO- but alas, all i'm thinking about lately is what needs to be done next. no commentary, ideas or discourse to lay out until this season comes and goes.

enjoying the now,
maureen

today's gratitude list**
charles didn't get hurt today
crocuses
that april showers bring may flowers
my brother's family and their generosity
my roommate for being laid back and humoring my neurosis.
the fox
the wedding coming together smoothly.
my mom
that the gas in our apartment works and it's paid.
my new job
my new boss
my new coworkers
that i'm finding meaning in the work that i do.
how green the grass seems lately
deodorant
a family to eat easter dinner with...
89.7
90.5
that i can downstream and listen to good music
that i can draw anytime i want.
evelyn has arrived
she is healthy
emerson dancing
charles not having a cynical bone in his body
my church
our small group
the nieme's
aa
watching spring storms
my sobriety
my books
faith austin is here... isn't that a great name?
chelsea's healthy pregnancy
the visual of laurel contorting her body to wave on in her bike seat w/ a helmet as big as her...
kisses
that i get to pray
coffee
that the long winter seems to be coming to an end; both literally and figuratively...

**i might seem overly grateful and although i would like to be; i'm not. i just feel like this is easy to post and i haven't' posted much lately b/c it takes some time and i don't have a lot of it. this is easiest right now (b/c it is supposed to a regular 'assignment' for people in recovery).

He is risen!
this is my favorite holiday! happy easter everyone!

registry
the phenomena of wedding registries is more than likely the biggest marketing scam that i will ever benefit from...

lagging behind
lots going on these days... it has been difficult to log all the different things that are happening in and around me!

first off- evelyn abei arrive wednesday at 7lbs 11 ounces. full head of hair. she did not however, come out w/ makeup on- as her mom promised.

second off- we moved the date up and i'm thrilled about that too.

third off- i went to laurel's birthday party today. she got a barbie jeep. not from me.

fourth off- my mom and i went through my dad's clothes to give to charles. things were given based on the quality of clothing- but moreso if they had a story behind them. it was wonderful to reminisce. he got all the remaining looney toons socks that helped my dad not take himself too seriously (by his admission). i miss him very very much.

fifth off- i got off the phone with my sister-in-law andrea who is estatic to have the wedding in nashville.

sixth off- i got a dress and i love it.

seventh off- we had an incredibly difficult conversation with my sponsor who disapproves of inter-racial marriage. i got very angry. charles showed his true colors by graciously refusing to stoop or give rebuttal to the ignorance of the argument. he's such a good man.

eigth off- i love the kays.

ninth off- i am realizing the 'justifiable resentments' are hooey for me.

tenth off- i will probably need to do a fifth step after this wedding season. but maybe if i actually worked the tenth step daily and remembered to confess my sin throughout the day; things would go smoother.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

laurel
i love it when laurel rings her hands, bows her head and squeels with excitement.
i love it when laurel says charles' name.
i love it when laurel dances with the wiggles- although i hate the wiggles
i love it when laurel makes me dance with the wiggles; although i hate the wiggles.
i love it when laurel sees my sister and runs into her arms.
i love it when laurel does the 'three little monkeys' hand motions with vigor and enthusiasim.
i love it when laurel insists on everyone in the room giving her a high five.

i love her so much! she's the best!

happy 2nd brithday!