dear mr. powerwasher,

how did i ever live without you?

things i have power washed:

: car floor mats
: bricks for garden
: driveway
: walkway
: pavers
: garden furniture

please submit other things that i can power wash. i'm looking for excuses. megan power washed her face- so don't submit that as an option b/c needless to say- it did not turn out well. i'd link to the story b/c it was quite funny- but alas- her blog is private. hmmmph.

in other news- i am saying goodbye to my beloved and faithful pair of flip flops that died.

i tried to super glue the rubber back down but only succeeded in super gluing it to my foot. nice. and yes- it hurt to remove it.

r.i.p. flip flop.

here's a postmortem photo:



i have been a bit overwhelmed lately. it's funny how much trouble it is for me to just worry about today b/c tomorrow has enough worries of its own as they say... but there are many things to look forward to this summer. here are some of them:

: constance's dedication.
: a trip to indianapolis to hang out with family and to do our annual meeting of the anam development foundation.
: during that trip we will see my old friend annette.
: a trip to boston for our anniversary.
: during that trip- we'll get to see my old friend kyla.
: prep to goto nigeria this fall (!!!!!)
: enroll in classes to teach special needs kids.
: a trip to nashville to visit my brother's family.

and happy fourth blogging anniversary to me. i started out blogging in 2003. i was re-reading some posts from long ago (how neurotic is that?)- and i must say- the content of my blog has declined in my opinion. it used to be somewhat funny and interesting. i used to post lists and opinions. after doing this for four years sometimes religiously other times not- i can confirm, for me- blogging appeals to my voyeuristic neurosis.

but it does chronicle life and that's just fine with me.

peace out my peeps.

is that so wrong?

i just gave constance a hickey. can you blame me?

chewable vitamin

"everybody thinks of changing humanity and nobody thinks of changing himself."
: leo tolstoy

passcards

i've been thinking about something lately. lets see if the thought is coherent yet.

when i lived in albania; we would regularly pick up short term missions teams at the 'airport'. it was technically an airport b/c planes landed there; but it barely met my criteria for an airport b/c as an american it lacked things i associated w/ airports. namely, a paved runway, some sense of order, and reasonable people guarding it.

to retrieve visitors from the airport we had a routine. to ensure that luggage was not ransacked we would get into customs by flashing our blockbuster cards and acting official. these two things combined allowed us 'in'.

i've been thinking about systems of getting let 'in'. culturally, socially, organizationally. most every group of people has a passcard. if you have 'it' (weather it be vocabulary, relationship, reference the right authors, the right bands)- you belong. you're one of us- you're in. the vocab, relationship, author, band or whatever- gives a person validity and then everyone else in the group gives the greenlight of acceptance- which comes in many forms.

the 12 steps of alcoholics anonymous have corresponding twelve transitions that act as by-laws that hold the organization together. the twelth is:

"anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.'

first off; for those of you that know me well- you know that i have struggled with feeling included in my life. gratefully, that's not what has prompted this post. but also, i think this achilles heel of mine has made me more thoughtful about these kinds of issues.

i've just been thinking about jesus as our passcard as a church. i don't know if this is totally transferable- but it seems to me that this is another way that church could benefit from being more like an aa meeting.

maybe this metaphor doesn't work.
i don't know if it does.
ughhh. bear w/ me.

basically i don't want know how it works to include people based on jesus and not show partiality based on things that range from minute (aesthetic snobbery or bands) to demonic (like race even when made palatable and passed of as 'style'). i can have an affinity for people who don't like thomas kinkade, kenny g and don't use worship flags on sundays. but how do i do that and not exclude others and be a jerk?

its seems to me that the christianese answer to that question is 'it is a matter of the heart'. which makes it kind of arbitrary and difficult to see. maybe i'm looking for a marker when i should not be... i dunno. but there are some markers of the heart in the form of words (from the heart the mouth speaks) and deed.

and these passcards- particularly when they are people (as in- 'oh your friend with so and so- then you're ok by me' (said or unsaid)); gives undo power to something that is not centered on Jesus- but instead on people (in this case). that power messes everything up and spoils the welcome of the kingdom.

so here's to me trying to align and give power to the things of Jesus and not the silliness i have done in the past. have mercy on me oh God.

sorry if this is a jumbled post. if it is any comfort- i don't know if it makes sense to me.