one year
yesterday was our first anniversary. i hear folks recount how much more they love their spouse than the day that they married. even though we have been married only a year- this is true for me. i love charles much more than i did 365 days ago.

i tried to find a post from last june to recount the day- but i didn't write about it. our wedding day was perfect for us. my brother married us at a small stone chapel on vanderbilt's campus. a couple of family friends were there, our closest friends came, and our families. i think thirty total. it was simple and we loved it. we walked across the green to a dinner party afterwards.

i would do it the same way all over again. especially, my choice of a groom. charles is my better in so many ways. he grounds me and helps me to remember what is really important in this life. i love him so much more than i ever imagined i could love another.

inventory experiment:

over the next month- i'm going to attempt to use these questions to evaluate life at days end. we'll see how it goes. now- you should know that this inventory check is promoted through the 10th step of 12 and these questions are not my invention. they're taken from the book alcoholics anonymous. technically, this inventory should be an ingrained habit. but it is not. i've been funky lately and that's what made me think i should actually try it. i'll let you know how it goes.

how was i resentful?

how was i selfish?

how was i dishonest?

how was i afraid?

do i owe an apology?

what have i wrongly kept secret?

was i unkind?

was i unloving?

what could i have done better?

was i thinking of myself most of the time?

was i thinking of what i could do for others?

who did i help today?

what did i accomplish today?

what am I grateful for today?

who needs my prayers today?

today's chewable vitamin

"a heart for the glory of God and a heart of mercy for the nations make a Christ-like missionary. these must be kept together. if we have no zeal for the glory of God our mercy becomes superficial, man centered human improvement with no eternal signifcance. and if our zeal for the glory of God is not a revelling in his mercy then our so-called zeal, in spite of all its protestism is out of touch with God and hypocritical."
~ john piper

m (my niece) singing heart out

the soundtrack of my life

well, i - turned 32.
it's taken me awhile to realize that i am more than three decades old.
but now that i'm comfortable with it; i wanted to do some sort of commemorative post.

so i decided to catolog my life in music.
i should say that i'm a bit intimidated by the prospect.
i know some of this readership-
or this readership's other blogs readship-
are music connoisseur.
and i
am not.

so i'm telling you upfront.
this isn't very high brow.
but here we go...

0-10:
i don't remember what i listened to during this time.
but i do remember wearing our peter and the wolf album thin.
and a lot of john denver.

this was probably the time that my musical taste varied most widely. more accuratley, it was the time in my life that my opinions didn't bear weight in our family's music listening.

10-15:
these were the years where i injested large quantities of pop rock.
including but not limited to:
prince (or the artist formerly known as...)
the go go's (beuaty and the beat)
tears for fears (songs from the big chair)

this is music worth noting b/c i still like the bands listed.
prince in particular.
tears forfears makes the list b/c i got my first kiss from kurt nuber in the bus to the circus for saftey patrol.

the most noteworthy development is that i fell in love w/ u2 in 7th grade.
war was the first tape that i wore out.
christy hildetch and i stayed up all night listening to it.
the love affair began that night.
abbey road was the second album that i wore out.


15-18:
the dramatic, destructive tormented artist years.

these three years are pretty gray in my mind.
like many others, these years contained the height of my teenaage rebellion.

i listened to a lot of pink floyd, the doors and the who.
i had a steady diet of u2 throughout.
i know these tastes seem disjointed- but they rightly reflect how i felt (as in disjointed).
i also like the velvet underground (loaded), and the dead.
alot of the music i listened to fed how i wanted to fit the part
(the part in my mind was to live off my drug enhanced art in new york city).

there was also a sprinkled intrest in simon and garfunkle and 10,000 maniacs.

18-22:
the years of the zealot.

these were my years as a zealot. i have a love hate relationship w/ this time in my life.

i listened to a lot of brooklyn tabernacle.
i also started going to the vineyard and got turned on to worship music.

i didn't exactly think that secular music was bad and that led zeplin albums spun backwords lead to the worship of satan-
but for whatever reason-
my music intake was revolved around brooklyn tab, kirk franklin, helen baylor, and ofcourse u2.

22-26:
the years of the toned down zealot pt 2.

i was (and still am) very passionate.
if you weren't passionate about the same things and in the smae way as me-
we had problems.
i would push you out of my life one way or another.
it wasn't pretty. there were good things too-
but i didn't know what balance was during this time in life
(a lesson i am still learning- but i was laregly in the dark about it as it unfolded).

my taste in gospel continued.
i was also really getting into being irish.
i picked up a fondness for some 'tradtional' celtic stuff. mostly the cheiftans.
an irish evening was a well worn cd- i felt roger daultry was a kinsmen.
i listened to cranberries, the sundays, and van morrison.

i also began to realize that there was a lot to jazz.
my initiation didn't wade into anything far beyond the classic jazz mucians.
i picked up a fondness for john coltrane in particular.

i fell in love w/ david wilcox at this point. and rediscovered my liking of sir elton john. i also saw billy joel in central park which made me an unapologetic band wagon fan for a moment that i savored.


26-30:
the jaded years.

this is when i thought it was cool to be jaded and cynical.
i thought i was very deep.

this is when i realized that stevie wonder's music did my soul good and inevidibly made me smile. i was a late bloomer and listened to more and more over the rhine. indigo girls was nearly always on the deck. i also found macy gray- whom i love. i had another unapolgetic band wagon moment when my eyes were opened to nick drake via a faboulous vw commercial.

i found the blind boys of alabama and all things sinatra.
i also dug up some old earth wind and fire. which i love(d).

the third decade that i am now well into...

i have tons of carryovers (both in taste and issues)

i have recently discoved stereo lab, etta james and yo yo ma rock my tiny mind.
i am being schooled in the ways of some west african tunes and fun worship songs that aid in my attempts to learn igbo.

the rest of my musical script is still unfolding.

today's chewable vitamin
"we who are rich are often demanding and difficult. we shut ourselves up in our apartments and may even use a watchdog to defend our property. poor people, of course, have nothing to defend and often share the little they have.

when people have all the material things they need, they seem not to need each other. they are self-sufficient. there is no interdependence. there is no love. in a poor community, however, there is often a lot of mutual help and sharing of goods, as well as help from outside. poverty can even become a cement of unity."
~ jean vanier

100000

well. the fox gone done and did it.
she rolled over the speedometer to 100,000 miles.

i got her when she was only 50,000 miles old. she’s grown up so fast!
i fell in love almost immediately. i took her for a spin and liked driving a manual again. she was quirky and fun and i loved her. she was a reminder that God hadn’t forgotten me about me. i got her for dirt cheap when i realized that debt was ruining my life.

she’s seen a lot in her day- and hopefully there is more good times to come.

she’s seen a lot of air guitar and air drumming.
she’s seen some arguments.
she’s seen some crying alone.
she’s carted around many a niece, nephew or adopted niece/nephew.
she’s seen her share of make out sessions.
she’s seen alabama for goodness sake.
she’s overheard countless prayers.
she’s heard her share of practice conversations.
she’s heard many days planned aloud.

one time, she had flames shooting out of her wheel rims when i thought i was going to die. but i didn’t. i’m still here- and so is good ole’ foxy.

thank you lord for my simple quirky fairly reliable foxy!

got this from here...

i know it's long but please read it.

today's chewable vitamin

"It follows that in order to do justice in the struggle against AIDS, churches must stand against poverty. This is in keeping with God's will; never in the Bible are God's children given permission to be complacent about poverty. In Deuteronomy 15 we are told that there will never even be poor among us if we fully obey God's commands. The fact that some are poor is proof of our fallen state. Though we are fallen, we are not allowed to give up: God still tells us to give generously and be openhanded toward our brothers and sisters.

In Christ, God gives us a model life of generosity and relationship with the poor. Often misconstrued are Christ's words to Judas: "The poor you will always have with you." Jesus was not making a statement of fatalistic apathy, but quoting God's condemnation from Deuteronomy that allowing our brothers and sisters in Christ to be poor is a key indicator of our disobedience to the Father. In Luke Jesus begins his public ministry by quoting from Isaiah 61 that he has come to "preach good news to the poor."

This good news should come from today's body of Christ in two words: debt relief. Consider Zambia, which currently pays 30 percent more in debt repayments than on health. And Zambia's is not the only similarly burdened budget. Debt relief will enable AIDS-afflicted nations to more completely address the crisis within their borders by spending more on prevention/education and treatment. Behavior modification strategies are marginally successful and are only part of a comprehensive strategy — a strategy that must have aggressive debt relief as a central pillar. "
~ jerad morey (taken from this paper)

i love this picture.
he looks like he's in a commercial of something.

today's chewable vitamin

"when the power of love becomes stronger than the love of power,
we will have peace."
~ jimi hendrix

today's chewable vitamin
"it is logical that the united states should do whatever it is able to do to assist in the return of normal economic health in the world, without which there can be no political stability and no assured peace. our policy is directed not against any country or doctrine but against hunger, poverty, desperation and chaos."
~ george c. marshall

113 days

"Finally, finally, finally, President Bush is showing a little muscle on the
issue of genocide in Darfur. Is the muscle being used to stop the genocide
of hundreds of thousands of villagers? No, tragically, it's to stop Congress
from taking action.

Incredibly, the Bush administration is fighting to kill the Darfur
Accountability Act, which would be the most forceful step the U.S. has taken so
far against the genocide. The bill, passed by the Senate, calls for such steps
as freezing assets of the genocide's leaders and imposing an internationally
backed no-fly zone to stop Sudan's Army from strafing villages.

The White House was roused from its stupor of indifference on Darfur to
send a letter, a copy of which I have in my hand, to Congressional leaders,
instructing them to delete provisions about Darfur from the legislation.

Mr. Bush might reflect on a saying of President Kennedy: "The hottest
places in hell are reserved for those who in a period of moral crisis maintain
their neutrality."

Aside from the effort to block Congressional action, there are other signs
that the administration is trying to backtrack on Darfur. The first sign came
when Condoleezza Rice gave an interview to The Washington Post in which she
deflected questions about Darfur and low-balled the number of African Union
troops needed there.

Then, in Sudan, Deputy Secretary of State Robert Zoellick pointedly refused to repeat the administration's past judgment that the killings amount to genocide. Mr. Zoellick also cited an absurdly low estimate of Darfur's total death toll: 60,000 to 160,000. Every other serious estimate is many times as high. The latest, from the Coalition for International Justice, is nearly 400,000, and rising by 500 a day.

This is not a partisan issue, for Republicans and the Christian right led
the way in blowing the whistle on the slaughter in Darfur. As a result, long
before Democrats had staggered to their feet on the issue, Mr. Bush was
telephoning Sudan's leader and pressing for a cease-fire there.

Later, Mr. Bush forthrightly called the slaughter genocide, and he has continued to back the crucial step of a larger African Union force to provide security. Just the
baby steps Mr. Bush has taken have probably saved hundreds of thousands of
lives.

So why is Mr. Bush so reluctant to do a bit more and save perhaps several
hundred thousand more lives? I sense that there are three reasons.

First, Mr. Bush doesn't see any neat solution, and he's mindful that his
father went into Somalia for humanitarian reasons and ended up with a mess.

Second, Mr. Bush is very proud - justly - that he helped secure peace
in a separate war between northern and southern Sudan. That peace is very
fragile, and he is concerned that pressuring Sudan on Darfur might disrupt that
peace while doing little more than emboldening the Darfur rebels (some of them
cutthroats who aren't negotiating seriously).

Third, Sudan's leaders have increased their cooperation with the C.I.A.
As The Los Angeles Times reported, the C.I.A. recently flew Sudan's intelligence
chief to Washington for consultations about the war on terror, and the White
House doesn't want to jeopardize that channel.

All three concerns are legitimate. But when historians look back on his
presidency, they are going to focus on Mr. Bush's fiddling as hundreds of
thousands of people were killed, raped or mutilated in Darfur - and if the
situation worsens, the final toll could reach a million dead.
This Thursday marks Holocaust Remembrance Day. The best memorial would be for more Americans to protest about this administration's showing the same lack of interest in Darfur that F.D.R. showed toward the genocide of Jews. Ultimately, public pressure may force Mr. Bush to respond to Darfur, but it looks as if he will
have to be dragged kicking and screaming by Republicans and Democrats
alike.

Granted, Darfur defies easy solutions. But Mr. Bush was outspoken and
active this spring in another complex case, that of Terry Schiavo. If only Mr.
Bush would exert himself as much to try to save the lives of the two million
people driven from their homes in Darfur.

So I'm going to start tracking Mr. Bush's lassitude. The last time Mr.
Bush let the word Darfur slip past his lips publicly (to offer a passing
compliment to U.S. aid workers, rather than to denounce the killings) was Jan.
10. So today marks Day 113 of Mr. Bush's silence about the genocide unfolding on
his watch. "

watch this movie...

read darfur accountability act

saw this and thought of the irony...

today's chewable vitamin
"freedom is a divine gift that carries with it a tremendous human responsibility. the national day of prayer is a day that we ask that our nation, our leaders and our people use the freedom we have been given wisely. and so we pray as americans have always prayed: with confidence in God's purpose, with hope for the future, and with the humility to ask God's help to do what is right."
~ president george bush 2005.05.05 for national day of prayer
(emphasis mine)

well today is 050505
and i thought i should write something b/c i like that date.

well- i've had kinda a weirdly religious day.
for starters-
i am reminded today of the saying that
the problem w/ christianity is christians.
we do buisness with people who are high profile christians.
these high profile christians treat my coworkers and supervisors like doo doo.
worse yet- after they are done treating them like doo doo-
they try and share the gospel with my coworkers and supervisor.
all and all- this seems to make my job as a christian-
a bit more difficult than it already is.
and frankly, i don't appreciate it.

but then again; it gives me ample opportunity to remind myself and my friends that this why Jesus had to die (b/c all fall short of the glory of God- even high profile christian jerks).

and then i remembered that i'm sure i've made someone elses' job as christian difficult w/ some of the noensense i've said and done (by commission or ommission).

and then i calmed down.

[paranthetical aside: i don't mean to minimize the effects of sin on our world- but it does my heart and mind good when i dwell in Jesus and not the sin. infact i am certain that dwelling on Him is the only thing that keeps me sane in this crazy world.]

then i met the mormons for lunch.
which is always weird for me. b/c the mormons that i know all seem to really believe that whole schtick. and it bothers me that they are so sincerely blind. i don't like it.

but i bumped into them at subway and i just felt like i couldn't not talk to them.
i mean- they're mormons and they're sincerely blind.

oh-
and by the way-
for those of you that use bebo-
i know that my brithday was registered for today.
but it's not my birthday.
but it's been fun to get cards, free coffee (thanks kirsten) and whatnot-
it was wholy unplanned. not a conspiracy.
thanks.

today's chewable vitamin
“each time a man stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope... building a current that can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance." ~ robert f. kennedy