spring has committment problems.

we've prayed for it's healing but we haven't seen a break through.
that's all i'm going to say about that.

the other very encouraging news i have to share today is that i see purpose and meaning in why God has me in my current work situation. for this- i am grateful. the Lord is really wooing people here and it is wonderful to watch and be a part of... although i should say that christians have gained a pretty bad wrap around here amongest my non-believing coworkers. you know what they say sometimes- the biggest deterant to christianity isn't Jesus but christains. Lord have mercy on me.

i am coming to understand that people think about me less than i think that they do... but i'm worry that you might think me a degenerate. a couple of months ago i linked a website of a postpartum mom and her daily diatribe. i just want to say that i revoke this endoresement. i'm embarrassed that i linked to it! the last half dozen times i've purused it- i've blushed. and it's hard to make me blush. i'm not even going to reference which site it is-

i want to see hotel rwanda and born into brothels. anyone up for that?

today's chewable vitamin
"the holiest of all holidays are those kept by ourselves in silence and apart, the secret anniversary of the heart" ~ longfellow

things that make you go hmmm...

here are some things that are throwing me off lately.

i grew up like one block from summit chase.
they changed the roof from black tile to white tile.
i find it very disorienting.
it's weird enough to have a high rise in the middle of
little ole grandview- but why you gotta do that?

this photo of tony blair makes me think he is a
jehovah witness missionary.
it's creeping me out a little too.



i should say that this is from the economist.
the article outlines tony's new plan to bolster africa.
frankly, i didn't find the article to earthshattering.
i mean- duh. more aid.
then i read the bbc's coverage and was more heartned about the report.

also what's up w/ all the sprinter's around town?
they're so in.
it's so east european.

and lastly, i cannot make heads or tales of the snow phobia
that my co-workers suffer.

today's chewable vitamin
"every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to." ~ chris rock

a girl can change her mind
can't she?

well i did. i'm not going to post on a pro or anti ownership society-
b/c i decided that i don't know what i'm talking about.
(not that it's stopped me before- but discretion prevails.)
but here are some links i found helpful.
the links represent a vareity of opinions and approaches...

here's one
here's two
and here's three

instead- i may post about ligers*.



i think it's equally engaging.
*got the picture here.

some things i am looking forward to in the near future are as follows:
:: going to alpha w/ my friend from work.
:: three important birthday's my mom, laurel's and evelyn's.
:: the easter festvities.
:: dinner w/ kirsten.

i'll leave with
today's chewable vitamin.

there are very few peoplewho realize what God would make of them if they abandoned themselves into his hands, and let themselves be formed by his grace.
~ st. ignatius

*read this book. it rawks.

favorite read of the day...
in attempts to catalog for myself and show you
the kinds of things that intrigue and interest me
as i peruse and read over the course of a day.

they can be found in my del.icio.us:: links
w/ the tag favoritereadoftheday
and will be archived here.

:: addendum
i may place contender items in the archive as well-
only the 'winners' will go under the favorite tag

to begin this quest and new day-
i will post right here and now
my new favorite photo of
nora catherine sullivan
it's not related to reading
but- can you blame me?
i mean- come on!

notables
watched fog of war
spoke w/ father in law at length.
went to nigerian church.
had a wonderful time at chelsea's bday party.
i did the counrty quiz at karen's prompting.
i'm not going to post the results b/c i'm bitter.
they called me snobby. cretins!
was reminded how pitiful my dear husband is when ill.
was reminded how cute my dear husband is when ill.
worked out at a gym for the first time in god knows how long.
thought about if the 'ownership society' aligns w/ my outlook on life.
decided it may be load of crap.
went to first meeting in two weeks.
was reminded how aa does my soul good.
longed that church would be more like aa.

in the coming week i hope to post about this article
and about the beef i have the ownership society.



today's chewable vitamin
"in the face of such spiritual and human need, the church's flight to the suburbs cannot go unchallnged. how can we claim to be loyal to Christ's mission when we flee the mission field at our doorstep? when we forsake the inner city so that our lives will not be incovenienced by the sufferings of the neediest among us? we flee the mission fields we should be invading. we try to soothe our conciences with such token ministries to the poor as tracts and media--nice, safe "ministries" that do not require living or working among the poor, ministries that insulate us from sharing in their suffering."
~john perkins (one of my favorite christian authors)

good things
these are some of the good things that have happened lately...

i went to the best baby shower i think i've ever been to- for triplets for a girlfriend of mine who has had numerous miscarriages. it was a wonderful.

another good thing that happened was that my main man joe biden was on meet the press this past sunday.
this is my main message for the day:
JOE BIDEN 2008!
hillary could be on his ticket as VP and then run for president
after she has some more experience.

sidebar conversation for audience of one...
someone reads this thing from chappaqua new york each week
please listen- this is good advice for your party- president clinton

in other news- i went to a local college to see about getting my certification to teach.
moral of the story? studying art history may be fun-
but it's not the most applicable or marketable field to study.

i got myself invited to a passover. this happened b/c i invited myself. my friend cydney and i have long spoken of participating in such festivities. i was tense about following up with her- and i finally just nervously blurted out, 'i want to do something jewish together.' i'm very eloquent that way.

my friend carrie came for dinner wednesday night and that was fun too.

well folks
february is finally over.
thank you god.

i have been unbearably tired the last couple of days.
trying to fend off my mild feeling of ickiness.

went to mark's funeral.
i don't really have much to say this evening.
just checking in.
i'm off to watch 24 and try and understand what's happening.

today's chewable vitamin:
"i prayed for twenty years but received no answer until I prayed with my legs."
~ frederick douglas

a guy from my meetings killed himself this weekend.
i got the call this afternoon. i am very sad.

i had a bunch of stuff to say- but now it all seems stupid.
nothing eloquent or profound.
nothing touching or something cathartic for me to feel better.
sometimes it's just better for me to be quiet and be sad.

when we forget history, we are doomed to repeat it
please read this editorial.
(warning some disturbing photos are the first thing you'll see)

today's chewable vitamin
"to those who hunger give bread, and to those who have bread, give the hunger for justice."
~unknown

ok here's the situation
my parent's went away on a week's vacation
and
they left the keys to the brand new porsch

sorry

sometimes in i just break into rap.
other times. i'm just desperate for a title
i know. it's sad.

ok the reason i'm writting today is to have anyone who is interested
participate in a fake democratic process.
it's fake b/c your vote doesn't actually count.
unless you come to our bookclub...
which by the way- you're welcome to.
(erica? karen?)
but only if you're a girl. NO BOYS ALLOWED!
but boys are allowed to vote here.

i'm responsible for book choices this month.
here are the choices i think i'll bring:



Collapse: How Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed



American Dream:
Three Women, Ten Kids, and a Nation's Drive to End Welfare



The Careless Society: Community and Its Counterfeits



naked




The Case For Democracy: The Power of Freedom to Overcome Tyranny and Terror




Land of a Thousand Hills: My Life in Rwanda



the awake project



God's Politics : Why the Right Gets It Wrong and the Left Doesn't Get It

this is a long shot b/c the library has no copies
but it look interesting nonetheless.





Green Urbanism: Learning from European Cities


if nothing else-
you can help me vote some of these books off the island.



chewable vitamin
"all that is needed for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing."
~ edmund burke

updates:
revised revision
well here are a couple of bullet points to bring you up to speed.

:: i've decided that there is a deadly middle class crack that is widely circulated at gas stations. it comes from a fountain of life- namely a coffee machine that dispenses sugar and then some more. that english toffee 'cappacinno' is a weakness of mine.

:: the christo trip was overcome by a car repair to the fox. i am disappointed. needless to say- it's been a stressful week. i could always pray for a capital venturist to fund my trip.
:: charles is getting into the groove of starbucks (he works at the campus store). feel free to stop into say hi- he's the one w/ the chronic smiling problem ;)
:: sometimes i think i have a spirit of crankiness.

:: we recently watched gandhi and i really loved it.

i know that i said i was going to post an itenaray but since i got it in my head that i might go next weekend- and now that it's a financial impossibility- i think it'd be too depressing to do. so i'm dealying this post.

in other news- i have never, in my life recieved more forwards than right now. my coworkers are whores to forwards. the other thing i want to say is that the receptionist here at work is always paging william taft- which i chuckle at everytime. and the last thing i wanted to say is that we're going to watch 42 up this weekend and i'm excited.

here are some things i'm looking at and into lately:

this illustrator's blog

this other illustrator's blog
both this guy's view of the gates and his site in general

this missions/ relief agency

i love me one of these lists

this made me sad today

so instead here's my question for discussion:
why and how did it become one of the primary concerns of the Church to influence people's individual morality?

taulk amongest yurselfs in comments pleeeze....

as we close out on black history month...

today's chewable vitamin:

"when the missionaries came to Africa they had the Bible and we had the land. They said 'Let us pray.' we closed our eyes. when we opened them we had the Bible and they had the land. "
~ desmond tutu

pray for this guy



ever since i watched my dad's decline-
it effects me deeply when people get sick.
i am convinced that we were not made for death.

pray that the curse's margin will be pushed back a little
and that mercy and healing will come to mark and his family.

honestly, i feel a little wierd posting this b/c i barely know the guy.
but my heart has been bothered since i heard
the news that he has a malignant tumor.
plus it's always good to pray for sick people weather i know them or not...

ahhhh... what i wouldn't give

to see christo's gates project in central park.
some more stuff to read here and here.

urgent update:
currently looking for interested parties
to goto nyc last weekend in febraury.
we'll go on the cheap.
let me know if you're interested.







** ummm i suppose it's worth saying that i got these photos elsewhere.
i wonder if i'm gonna get busted by the blog police for not properly citing where i get what...

later this week-
i'm gonna post a mock itenarary for an ideal day in new york city.

chewable vitamin:
"the job of the artist is always to deepen the mystery."
~ francis bacon

laurel

this is my neicey laurel. my sister rations photos of her for some reason- so these are the first time i've posted any of her. she knows her address, her phone number, the letters to her mom and dad's name, she counts to fourteen, she sings, dances and knows lionel richie songs. she's basically a genius. she lives here in columbus and i get to see her on the weekends sometimes- but not enough for my liking. she'll be 3 in march and shares the same birthday w/ my mom.

sometimes, i love her so much it hurts.

ash wednesday

hi there... well today's ash wednesday. i'm one of these people who whenever there's a holiday approaching, i proclaim that THIS (the upcoming holiday) is my favorite holiday of them all. i do like the easter an awful lot. it's about miracles. and who doesn't like miracles? not me- no sir!

today marks a time to reflect for us christians on our humanity and falleness i suppose. we're fragile folks us humans! good thing that this life is not all that there is...

i'm particularly reminded today of our fraility with the news that some of my former co-workers are venturing into new and terrible ground. you can read about thier struggle here. erik has a malignant and agressive tumor in his brain. he and his wife kelly are the parents of two- one 15 month old and another baby on the way. the prognosis is 5% survival rate to make it through this year. please think and pray for them today. it's a season of miracles afterall.

chewable vitamin

psalm 51

1 Have mercy on me, O God,because of your unfailing love. Because of your great compassion,blot out the stain of my sins.
2 Wash me clean from my guilt.Purify me from my sin.
3 For I recognize my shameful deeds--they haunt me day and night.
4 Against you, and you alone, have I sinned;I have done what is evil in your sight. You will be proved right in what you say,and your judgment against me is just.
5 For I was born a sinner--yes, from the moment my mother conceived me.
6 But you desire honesty from the heart,so you can teach me to be wise in my inmost being.
7 Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean;wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
8 Oh, give me back my joy again;you have broken me--now let me rejoice.
9 Don't keep looking at my sins.Remove the stain of my guilt.
10 Create in me a clean heart, O God.Renew a right spirit within me.
11 Do not banish me from your presence,and don't take your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me again the joy of your salvation,and make me willing to obey you.
13 Then I will teach your ways to sinners, and they will return to you.
14 Forgive me for shedding blood, O God who saves;then I will joyfully sing of your forgiveness.
15 Unseal my lips, O Lord,that I may praise you.
16 You would not be pleased with sacrifices,or I would bring them. If I brought you a burnt offering,you would not accept it.
17 The sacrifice you want is a broken spirit.A broken and repentant heart, O God,you will not despise.
18 Look with favor on Zion and help her;rebuild the walls of Jerusalem.
19 Then you will be pleased with worthy sacrificesand with our whole burnt offerings;and bulls will again be sacrificed on your altar.

their back from ghana...


this is my brother

he and his best buddy are planting a church in nashville. i have a very deep respect for him and the way he and andrea 'do' life. i love their family very much. they arrived home from ghana safe and sound.

here are some other pictures.


see maggie in the back?



but this one is my favorite.

state of my union:

for better or worse, the hopes and aspirations i have for the coming year are very similar to what i outlined for myself last year.

this fact is not to discount the happenings and developments since the last state of my union. with each year that passes- i feel more and more myself. i am increasingly aware and somehow more comfortable with those things that i am not good at- and the things in which i excel.

the labors that i have undertaken through the script that life has given- change me. although the change is much slower than i would like- it is change nonetheless.

one thing that has been recurring as i pray through this new season in my life is the correlation between being self-forgetful and distraction. in the coming year, i am praying that God would work into me a concrete self-forgetfulness. my hope and hunch is that this discipline will lead to less distraction and more focus on what is truly important in my life. as i allow the Lord to master distraction and crowdedness in my life- i will be freed to forget about myself.

there are plenty of factors that contribute to some of the distraction. some are external, most of mine- are internal. i am coming to the realization that the external distraction will not cease- but only increase as you add people to your life and as you grow up. mortgages, money, jobs, kids... all of these things have the potential to make me insular and self-absorbed. i realize that there are seasons in life and i also realize that these things mentioned above are not inherently wrong. but when they become an end to themselves- or a means by which i excuse my inactivity towards what god is asking of me and our family; they become distractions.

as for my internal factors that contribute to distraction in my life- i will to prayerfully commit them to the Lord and actively deflate their power in my life. therefore- i?m outlining this course of action over the coming year. towards the goal of self forgetfulness i will:

+ repent of worry over finances and continue to walk out my financial plan.

+ integrate the credo that it is none of my business what others think of me. i will do what i say i believe is important. the importance of prayer for the sick, weather they be coworkers or others i meet along life?s road, and talking about my faith to those around me this will outweigh the importance of being cool in other people?s mind.

+ i will quiet distraction and noise with increased service and regular spiritual disciplines- particularly fasting.

+ i will work all twelve steps.

+ we will lay the ground work for our work to care for widows and orphans in west africa.

this is the state of my union.

take heart
the days are getting longer.
i usually get a bit depressed in february.
it's the shortes month of the year-
but feels like the longest.

this is what i got on my mind lately...

today's chewable vitamin

29 watch the way you talk. let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. say only what helps, each word a gift.

30 don't grieve God. don't break his heart. his Holy Spirit, moving and breathing in you, is the most intimate part of your life, making you fit for himself. don't take such a gift for granted.
31 make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk. 32 be gentle with one another, sensitive. forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.
> eph. 4.29-31

maureen's movie list
this is a running list of movies that meet two criteria. they are movies i think you should see b/c i like them and think you might too. or they are movies that i didn't 'like' in the traditional sense of the word but b/c they are thought provoking. i will try to update this as i think of movies and give a brief explanation about the movie or why it made the list.

please make suggestions of things that i have omitted or re-arrange my categories.

CLASSICS
here defined as movies that you should really see. in my opinion.

shindler's list :
everyone should see this movie.

glory:
everyone should see this movie. the first black platoon to fight in the civil war.

GodFather series:
b/c it's about the mob.

shawshank redemption:
really really good. dismantling institutionalization.

les miserable:
if you can't see the show- rent the movie. the book i hear is best.

the mission:
robert deniro was incredible... really.

***

FUNNY
(AKA COMEDY)

the anderson trilogy:
i know- i left bottlerocket off- but if you watch these three movies and if you watch these three movies and like them- then watch bottle rocket.

rushmore:
definitely my favorite wes anderson. and definitely in my top five favorite movies. i think of it as the film version of catcher in the rye.

the royal tennanbaums:
putting the fun- back in dysfunctional.

life aquatic:
william defoe is the secret weapon of this movie. loved it!

ala director christopher guest...
a mighty wind:
mockumentary of folk music era.

best in show:
mockumentary of dog show culture.

spinal tap:
mocumentary of 80?s glam rock band.

waiting for guffman:
start here for a christopher guest addiction. my favorite one of his...

ferris bueller's day off:
had this memorized at one point. my first of many 'favorite' movies.

steel magnolias:
b/c there's nothing like girl friends.

breakfast club:
b/c it's a cult classic of anyone that graduated highschool in the early nighties.

sixteen candles:
see above.

pretty in pink:
see above.

wayne's world:
obviously... i had this entire movie memorized at one point.

city slickers:
billy crystal's midlife crisis.

when harry met sally:
a legendary nyc movie. saw it when i was trying unsuccessfully to convince myself i could have jeff abbott as my best friend and not try to jump his bones all the time.

fried green tomatoes:
girl power!

parenthood:
very funny and sentimental look at family life with steve martin.

tootsie:
again... dustin hoffman kicks ass.

patch adams:
b/c laughter is good for the soul. and you can come back from a nervous breakdown and make a contribution.

my big fat greek wedding:
a primer in cross cultural marriage in the make-believe world.

high fidelity:
jack black before he got to be unbearably crude.

about a boy:
thought his movie would be a fun mindless whatever. it was one of the most pleasant surprise of a movie in a long time! loved it!

elf:
will farrel in tights is always a good thing.

the joy luck club:
thought it should be on here... the power of the relationship between mom?s and daughters is universal.

napolean dynamite:
fun to see another round of highschool cult classics emerge. it's about time breakfast club was replaced.

***

MAKES YOU PEE YOUR PANTS A LITTLE
(AKA SUSPENSE)

good fellows:
b/c it's about the mob.

the siege:
every american should watch this and think of the patriot act.

platoon:
really intense.

gladiator:
honor.

apocalypse now:
b/c it makes every other list- but it's pretty creepy. and i'm sure it would be better on acid.

witness:
before kelly migillis was all that and a bag of chips in top gun; she was in this movie. it's about a guy (harrison ford) that hides out with the amish.

LA confidential:
great suspense mystery movie.

all the president's men:
robert redford= hottie.

the insider:
no one talks about the amount of weight russel crow put on to do this film.

arlinton road:
b/c a guilty pleasure of mine is conspiracy theory.

7 :
my first introduction to kevin spacy. i've not been able to stop since.

the usual suspects:
see the part about not being able to stop...

12 days in september:
about the bay of pigs. kevin costner is bearable.

the matrix:
just the first one b/c it blew my mind. the others lost their novelty.

the lord of the rings trilogy:
b/c i would get yelled at if it wasn't on here.

a midnight clear:
ethan hawk on the fears of normal boys fighting wars and wetting their pants.

***

MADE ME CRY OR SOMETHING
(AKA DRAMA)

eternal sunshine of a spotless mind:
the most creative movie of 2004 in my opinion.

rainman:
for no other reason than see dustin hoffman act like nobody's business.

good will hunting :
could make you respect ben affleck again.

crossing delancy:
a great nyc movie about the lower east side.

michael collins:
my people! very well done epic and accurate irish history. with liam neason.

you've got mail:
one of my favorite new york movies- loved it- but no- i didn?t live on the upper west side.

moulin rouge:
wow. i can't think of anything descriptive to help you know about this movie but i remember it being wonderful and beautiful. very creative- romantic. i think it had a lot of skin. be warned.

amelie:
love love loved it.

macbeth (w/ ethan hawke) :
contextualized shakespere. set in modern day new york city at a corporation named denmark.

fiddler on the roof:
b/c it's one of the first movies i remember seeing.

dead poets society:
i mean- come on! 'oh captain my captain!'

in america:
irish immigration in america isn't just turn of the century. loved it. kinda bleak.

chariots of fire:
i like this movie for many reasons- but the soundtrack alone makes it worth it.

american history x:
edward norton rocks.

higher learning:
john singleton.

boyz in the hood:
lawrence fishboune was really good. Cuba was a cute teen.

moonstruck:
sentimental b/c my mother and i acted out a scene right before charles and i got engaged. it included me saying, 'ma- i love him awful'.

stand by me:
i miss river. great movie.

born on the 4th of july:
vietnam vet's who is disabled in the war and his experience with re-entry to our grateful nation.

malcom x:
b/c i think he was a great leader.

philadephia:
a philly attorney has AIDS and his struggle with bigotry around the disease- very prophetic. this nearly made it to the classic list.

remember the titans:
racial reconciliation.

road to perdition:
my people!

castaway:
30 minutes of no talking just acting. really impressive. loved the relationship with wilson.

saving private ryan:
truly the greatest generation.

white man's burden:
good idea- bad movie. but it's a good enough idea for you to rent it from the libary. race relations reversed. white people get treated like black people.

JFK:
b/c i think he was a great president.

it's a wonderful life:
obviously.

reality bites:
i heart ethan hawke. cult classic of college friends.

flawless:
when i decided phillip seymour hoffman totally ruled. bigoted cop (deniro) meets drag queen- really about the humanity in all of us. prophetic.

magnolia:
wow- good movie. really crude language. be warned.

say anything:
"i gave her my heart, she gave me a pen". love lyod dobler.

garden state:
love scrubs, love zach braff, love the music.

gattaca:
a caste system based on genetics. very interesting.

***

HOMELESS
(AKA OTHER- DOESN'T FIT IN ANY PARTICULAR CATEGORY)

donnie brasco:
b/c it's about the mob.

purple rain:
not really- but this movie saved my life. it's a long story but it involves diarrhea, and one weekend of using my limited albanian in a remote city near the border of kosovo.

taxi driver:
b/c i have to put scorcesse on here.

pulp fiction:
b/c i should put it on here... but it was really bloody.

fight club:
not for the faint of heart- very rough. nihilism just got cool.

the incredibles:
this was such a pleasant surprise. i'm not a cartoon sort- but wow- was this good! made me very happy.

st. elmo's fire:
angsty but funny. identity crisis of your twenties.

link o rama**

ala creative

ole' standbys:
harpers
the economist
new york times
bbc
new yorker

stuff i'm thinking about:
urban enviornments and money
community building

devotional
our daily blog (the imitation of christ online)
my people (the irish jesuits)
pray for the world (remember that america's not the center of the universe)

images i like:
art
art 2
cimabue
schielle
close
harlem renaissance
soutine

blogs:
some of these people i know and love,
others i only know,
and others i don't know at all

chelsea
jeff
jamie lee
scott
karen
pk
eric
mark
brian
john
dan
real live preacher
beth
andrew
nycbloggers

blog resources
blog tips
blog templates
blog templates #2 (although i can't figure out how to make these work)

ecards
all things irish
u2
moma
new yorker
nyt

for fun:
pong
zefrank
all things wes anderson

helpful odds and ends:
weather
rare out of print books
public transport
my library
movies
nyt bookreview
supreme court rulings
aljazeera english
geohive

lists on me
check back for updates

favorite books
(if asked right now)
on the road
portrait of an artist as a young man
calvary road

most influential books
(if asked right now)
money sex and power
divine conspiracy
man's search for meaning

two lies and a truth
~ spent an hour in conversation with this man
~ my uncle was a body gaurd for this man
~ my great uncle died in this historic irish melay

when faced w/ daunting tasks...
i sing this movie theme song myself.

favorite movies:
(if you asked me right now)
rushmore
amelie
reality bites
you've got mail
moulin rouge

places i've lived...
where i grew up
new york city
albania
ocean city

my favorite radio
day: saturday
program: this american life
station: wcbe
personality whom i will name my first child after: the legend

things i care about:
DATA

odds and ends:
:: i used to be an avid WHO fan and loved the doors as well...
:: but i've always loved these guys. they're still my favorite band.
:: my must see tv
:: if into t.v. it is difficult for me to talk and focus on anything going on around me.
:: i believe comic sans should be band from the font directory.

:: i listen to rush sometimes until i want to vomit;
:: then i forget the he annoys me,
:: and listen to him again... it's a vicious cycle.

:: my first car

(look up)
those are my mama's tennis shoes and bathrobe

weekend rituals and whatnot...
here is a sample schedule for my weekends.
it is almost routine.

friday nights...
this will be the first friday night when charles does not work at lido's.
we are relieved.

in the past, friday nights have usually been spent in one of two ways. i would work until 8pm and god home and do nothing, or i would goto a meeting. sometimes i hang out with my sponsor. then i goto get charles sometime around 1am from work.

our new friday night routine will include our kinship-
which we're very excited about.

saturdays...
we have a very leisurely morning in bed that includes reading the paper and my indoctrination of charles to saturday radio on wcbe. i take off for a little me time which generally happens at one of our neighborhood starbucks. then off to my favorite meeting at 1pm. this whole routine is bypassed monthly, when we try to go down to help out at fruit of the vine- a food pantry through our area. this helps me remember to pull my head out of my ass.

after i get home- we putz around and get ready for church. afterwards- we go out somewhere and raise a little hell. which for us means going out with friends or going to the dollar movies.

sundays...
another lazy morning of coffee drinking and paper reading.

then we meet my family for breakfast or have them over. my niece does here latest performance and make us laugh and lights up my life for the day. charles and laurel (my niece) proceed to sign lionel richie songs. not really- but they do many wiggles songs and moves together- which can only lead to charles singing soft rock.

when we come back from brunch, we have our weekly prayer time. [sidebar] as it turns out the duke (as i like to call him) is quite an intercessor. so if you need us to pray for something let us know- b/c we pray for people. maybe the gift will rub off on me. i am used to praying for myself only.

the remainder of the day is spent preparing for the week and doing chores and crap like that. charles worked (again past tense) sunday nights so that meant i would maybe goto a meeting, maybe get lost in a bookstore, or maybe meet with a friend.

we're inserting a time to talk about money and how we will budget it saturday mornings. left to my own devices- i would assume never talk about money. i just like spending it.

do you have any weekend rituals?
if so- what are they and how did they evolve?

in other news-
i have the following things on my mind...
:: how to get wcbe from cutting tal, thistle and shamrock.
:: should we alert the hand flushers of the existence of foot flushers? if i was a hand flusher (which i'm not)- i would want to know that people kick the flush toggle thingy. we owe it to them.
:: i'm looking forwar to talking to my nephews about ghana. they are traveling back today.
:: my farewatcher just alerted me to a fare to belfast for $480. hmmmmmm.
:: i'm anxious and praying for the elections in iraq this weekend. even in iraq- they vote on weekends!

i'm bleeding...
a stream of explitives flowed freely from my mouth just moments ago
because i stapled my hand by accident.
i'm such a good christian witness.

anyways- reason i'm writing is b/c
charles is taking his gre and thought i'd ask you to pray for him today.

thanks,
maureen

feeling the effects...
feeling dull today. blah. my mood suffers from the lack of sun.
i heard he came to visit this afternoon- but alas- i am in a cube.

soon i will post some different things. namely...
a movie guide of all my favorite movies
and the state of my union. you can read last year's here.

for now- i leave you with this...

chewable vitamin

"Christ’s glory and beauty are interiorly experienced and it is within you that he delights to be. he frequently visits the man who loves the interior life. He gently speaks to him, lovingly comforts him, gives him deep peace, and shares an intimacy beyond words.

If you do not know how to meditate on sublime and heavenly things, then find repose in Christ’s passion and gladly dwell in His sacred wounds. If you devoutly seek refuge in Jesus’ wounds- those priceless signs of our salvation- you will feel great comfort in time of trail and you will learn not to care when men despise you. Instead you will easily bear whatever slander vilification they cast upon you.

When Christ was among us in this world, He too was despised by men, and during his greatest need on the cross He was abandoned by friends and acquaintances and left to suffer insults alone. Christ chose to suffer and to be despised, and you dare to complain if someone insults you? Christ had his enemies and His slanderers, and you want everyone to be your friend and benefactor? How will your patience receive its crown if no trail ever comes your way? If you want to live a life free from all opposition, how will you be a friend of Christ? If you desire to reign with Christ then suffer with Christ and for Christ."
~ Thomas a Kempis

today's chewable vitamin
"i refuse to accept the cynical notion that nation after nation must spiral down a militaristic stairway into the hell of nuclear annihilation... i believe that even amid today's mortar bursts and whining bullets, there is still hope for a brighter tomorrow... i still believe that one day mankind will bow before the altars of God and be crowned triumphant over war and bloodshed."
--martin luther king, jr., address in acceptance of nobel peace prize - 10 December 1964

chewable vitamin

"the nation is sick; trouble is in the land, confusion all around... but i know, somehow, that only when it is dark enough can you see the stars. and i see God working in this period of the twentieth century. something is happening in our world. the masses of people are rising up. and wherever they are assembled today, whether they are in johannesburg, south africa; nairobi, kenya; accra, ghana; new york city; atlanta, georgia; jackson, mississippi; or memphis,tennessee, the cry is always the same: 'We want to be free'. "
~ dr. martin luther king jr.

maggie and new friends

in celebration of martin luther king jr.

today's chewable vitamin
"we have moved into an era where we are called upon to raise certain basic questions about the whole society. we are still called upon to give aid to the beggar who finds himself in misery and agony on life's highway. but one day, we must ask the question of whether an edifice which produces beggars must not be restructured and refurbished."
~ dr. martin luther king

blogging...
the good
the bad
and the ugly.

my opinions about the medium and the boundaries that may benefit it.

primer to this post...
i have been blogging for almost two years now. on the whole- i find it to be a fun and fairly harmless hobby. over that time- i have noticed some tendencies within the blogdom- that could serve as pitfalls in the medium. these are just my observations and opinions. it should be noted that i could be very wrong about my opinions and observations. so- take it with a grain of salt; my hope is that it is received in the spirit in which it was written.

things i consider when composing a blog post...
b/c i follow jesus, i try to filter my thoughts, my speech and therefore my writing through phil. 4.8**
(i know that not everyone is a christian that stumbles across this blog- but evenso- it's a good filter. if you experiment with it for say- a day- let me know how it goes.)

i, ofcourse, don't succeed all the time-
but it's a filter (or compass) nonetheless.
i consider that anyone could be reading this...
there seems to be a mentality out there (in the blogdom) of 'i need an outlet and this is my exercise of the first amendment and it's my right to put whatever i want on here and blah blah blah.'

i'm not disputing that this is true. it is true that you have the perogative to post whatever you want. the real question is can i live with what i've posted. can i bear the consequences? if i write something that is complex, can i bear to be misunderstood?

things i would never put on my blog...
i would never put something on my blog that is a sensitive process.
some examples of this?
i would never post any of my artwork on here.
why?
b/c i would be crushed if you said they sucked.
likewise- i would never post an emotional process that i was sifting through that was unresolved.
what does that mean?
say i'm facing a particularly lonely time in my life. i wouldn't pontificate about it at length on my blog. why? b/c if anyone said the wrong thing (which when i'm in an emotional funk could be just about anything anyone says online)- i would flip.
i would avoid negative talk about my job, or my coworkers.
right or wrong; people get fired for that kind of stuff.
i would avoid mentioning my place of employment altogether.
i would avoid processing things that involved relationships with other people (that were complicated or negative)

so now what... how do i apply these things?
i do post some personal things on here. but they are things that i feel very resolved about- very comfortable with...

meaning, if someone writes something nasty; i think to myself,
'hmm. someone thinks i'm weird. good thing i don't care'.
as opposed to 'what's wrong with me??!!'
(which would be my response if i wrote something i was not personally resolved about).

what i'm not suggesting is that people cannot blog about their lives honestly.
sometimes (this is totally my opinion) honesty, transparency and the like are the evangelical christian's trump card. i think it can lead to emotional masturbation and i'm worried about it.
so i'm writing this post. owning one's feelings isn't simply confessing it to the anonymous masses via the internet- it is confessing it to God, to another and then (if the feeling is negative and unproductive) taking action to change it (via repentance, service, bible reading and submission to the spirit among others^^).

people compare blogging with journaling.
each time i hear it i get very nervous.
our lives,
no matter what kind of life it is-
no matter what walk of life-
no matter what have precious contents.
the inner workings of each and everyone of our hearts- are so beautiful, and wonderful. even in the muck and junk- but we are (atleast i am) fragile.
and if you laughed at that in me, i just don't need it.
so i don't do it.
well- i mispoke.
i do it.
i just don't entrust it to the two dimentionality of the internet.
i entrust myself, my heart,my thoughts, my feelings to people.
people who i can hear the tone of their voice, people who can tell me i'm full of shit and i know that they say it in love, people who can hug me, people who i can read their body language.
entrusting those things to the internet- might work for some-
but not me.
so i don't do it.

i think blogging can be a authentic interesting and thought provoking medium. it just seems that discretion and dicernment are the bloggers best friend.

what do you think about this topic?
talk to me...
cannell- comment dammit!

** 8 finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable. if anything is excellent or praiseworthy?think about such things. ~ phil. 4.8

^^ no intention to oversimplfy this. but this is for starters and i speak from expereince. i have learned a lot about how to be geniune but not a slave to my emotional life... but that's another conversation (notice i did not say post).

a couple of things...

i love my brother.
i love the family he and andrea have created.
i love that they took four kids...
to ghana...
for a missions trip...
for a month.
granted- i think they are crazy...
but i love them nonetheless.

i wondered if you would like to goto their blog and read about their adventures.
perhaps you could even pray for their ministry and saftey too.
i'd consider it a favor really.
it would be great to have more people praying for them.

this...
has been a public service announcement.

thanks,
maureen

(note- please appreciate jack's 'who'd dhat' look)

need

tsunami help

here's some video footage of the tsunami.

some images

not gory- but terrifying.

here is some information on giving towards the relief efforts.

i don't know what to endorse-

but here are some links that you may find helpful:

secular:

oxfam

nytimes clearninghouse list of relief work

faithbased:

aerdo

campus crusade for christ

sojorners clearinghouse list

you can check with these folks to help determine your giving preference.

i am not going to critique anyone's level of senstivity to this crisis. while i can appreciate that there is an under-reported disaster happening in africa- i must say that the outpouring of support for the tsunami is not something i take lightly. it is certainly a step in the right direction. there are lots of good byproducts to giving. i don't just mean monitarily. you can give your time to prayer, you can talk to your employer about donating a service... whatever. but giving is good for you! sorry if this sounds preachy. but i just want to say that i think it is a really good thing that people are giving- b/c we gotta start somewhere.

i felt compelled to post something that would inform people on giving options. these images are haunting.

precious boy

+++

today's chewable vitamin

"The quality of mercy is not strain'd,

It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven Upon the place beneath.

It is twice blest: It blesseth him that gives and him that takes. '

T is mightiest in the mightiest: it becomes The throned monarch better than his crown;

His sceptre shows the force of temporal power,

The attribute to awe and majesty,

Wherein doth sit the dread and fear of kings;

But mercy is above this sceptred sway, It is enthroned in the hearts of kings,

It is an attribute to God himself; And earthly power doth then show likest God's,

When mercy seasons justice. "

~ william shakesphere (from the merchant of venice)

the fives

i have a number of gmail invites.
please let me know if you’re interested.
we start our new kinship friday. this tops the list for our weekend.

we are devising our hopes and dreams for 2005 and committing them to prayer this month. other than that, charles is prepping for his gre and the day he gets is $% $#@!*^ social security card. i tell you for a government set up on a market economy based on the survial of the fittest- they make it nearly impossoble for a nice immigrant like charles to be self substaining.

but this, my friends, would be a diversion from the topic at hand. perhaps latter this month i will boil over and post a tyraid about the treatment of immigrants.

for now-i thought i'd recap some of my favorite things about 2004. it may be considered too late to do this- but i don't care- it's my blog.

five favorite books from 2004

1. a year in provance. a book about the author's life in provance france. i loved it. pure escapism.
2. better together. a sequal of sorts to bowling alone by robert putnam. very good and very accessible book about community building.
3. memoirs of a geisha. a wonderful book. i think it was my favorite of the year. i know i know- this was 'in' like four years ago. what can i say- i'm behind the trends.
4. celebration of discipline. second time reading this book and it did not dissappoint. a great balance of the biblical roots and practical.
5. the celtic book of prayer. this book has really enhanced my devotional life more than any other in recent memory.

five favorite days from 2004

1. the day we got engaged: february 14th

it was a cold day and charles took me to shoku to partake in the foods of the gods... sushi. we went to my sisters for dessert where he was staying. they had vacated the premises. i walked in to rose petals on the floor and candles lit. music playing and delictable cheesecake. he proposed; i said yes! we were happy.

2. the day we got married: may 29th

i stayed at a fancy hotel with my family in nashville. anne and i shared a room for my last night single. jess and joe came. chris and chels came. we woke up around 9am and jess and anne took me to breakfast. we relaxed. we swam. i went to get my hair done. we went to a tiny stone chapel on vanderbilt's campus. i saw charles. he was so handsome. we sang songs and cried. we had communion together. my brother (a pastor) married us. and we were very happy.

3. christmas day: december 25

we had a wonderful first christmas. it included the exchange of simple gifts due to our budget, many games of scrabble with my family, snow, candles, laughter, time with WSA (world's smartest aunt) and watching my niece have the time of her life!

4. st. patricks day: march 17th

this was my last day in the corporate world's version of pimping. i'm referring to temping. they took me out to lunch at mary kelly's in dublin and had a nice party for me and i entered the world of the insured. and i was grateful. i had thought that all my work woes would end- but they did not. but that was ok with me- b/c i knew i was insured. and i began the lesson of learning that it is not my job's responsibility to bring meaning and order to my life.

5. any day on our honeymoon.

not to be exhorbanantly mushy- but we had a wonderful time on our honeymoon and got to eat fresh seafood everyday. our days were long and monotonous and contained a lot of sleeping on the beach, reading and walking at dusk. and other stuff too. but that's all i'm going to write.

i guess i could do the five worst days but i thought that would be a downer and honestly- i can’t think of too many worst days- b/c 2004 was a pretty stinkin good year!

five people
(who made 2004 what it was)
1. my husband charles. for obvious reasons.
2. my mom. my mom has been so supportive and understanding during our engagement and now in our marriage. she has welcomed charles as a son and really been of more practical help than any one person ever in my life!
3. chelsea. my friendship with chelsea has added so much to my life! watching her walk with Jesus is nothing less than inspiring. she and her husband were kind enough to let charles live with them for four months.
4. anne. her humor and devotion to me has meant so much. inspite of any difficulty she faced personally, she was excited and supportive of me through my wedding and made the trip to nashville! she also raised some hell on the old blog during the election period. she challenges me and makes me laugh.
5. jess has been an endless source of wisdom and love for me. she serves as an anchor in many ways on things that are important and helps me sift what is not important. she rawks.

ok my peeps. that's all i got. i'll leave you with...

today's chewable vitamin

"you must be the change you wish to see in the world."
~ mahatma gandhi

what i learned in 2004...

:: i was reminded that i am not always right by living with someone from a different culture.
:: i had concrete illustrations via marriage that although my sinful choices never simply affected only me; that it is truly truly true.
:: i remembered that i like to dance.
:: i began to learn that my experiences and contributions that i have learned over the years in my friendships can benefit my marriage.
:: i was reminded that i should hold a friend contest and stack my friends up against anyone and how they would win friends of the year.
:: i was reminded that the very best thing i can do for my marriage is foster my love relationship with Jesus.
:: i learned that being a democrat and being a follower of Jesus are not mutually exclusive.
:: i was reminded of just how cool of a mom i have...
:: i learned alot of things through the blogosphere. i will write a little bit about that later.
:: i was reminded of why i love u2.
:: i learned that racism is still alive and well in this country.
:: i was given ample real life examples of how disheartening, cumbersome and bureaucratic our government’s treatment of immigrants (this is a coded slam of the patriot act)**.
:: i learned in a new way what it means to be broke.
:: i learned about attorney fees.

** oh man is this a whole nother post!

why i love jesus
there are many reasons that i love jesus. i am grateful for the chance to celebrate his life throughout this time of year. perhaps this post would of been better suited for a pre christmas date. but the reality is i wish that my level of anticipation was more sustained throughout the whole year and that i would be as mindful of how much my relationship with jesus means to me.

well- as i said i’m crazy about jesus. he really saves my life over and over again. it used to be in a more physical and concrete way when i was a hellion flirting with death and overdose. then it was spiritual (as when i decided to be a ‘real christian’* (for lack of a better phrase)). now- i feel like he saves me from a variety of things. one of which (but not limited to); he saves me from myself. and i love that. in a million years- i would of never guessed that my life would look like it does today. he saves me from myself b/c he doesn’t let me settle for my measly dreams. he also saves me emotionally. i cannot begin to tell you the emotional overhaul that walking with Jesus has produced.

i love him for lots of the stuff he ‘does’ for me. but i am growing to love God for the intangible non utility of his character and just who he is.

i have grown to love that i don’t understand him. what i mean is- i sometimes wish (connect this with the measly dream bit) that my relationship was formulatic. that i follow God, he does what i want, and that i’m happy. but this is not the case. since becoming a christian life (read here shit), sometimes still happens. i can try to be obedient and my job still suck (for example), or my dad die, or ministry be flat, or remain single or fill in your blank. with that said, it has been my experience that there is something intangible, beautiful and profound that happens when we ‘live life on life’s terms’ (to borrow a phrase from program). when i neutralize my brat; and stop demanding from God; i receive His mercy and meeting. and i love this.

i love jesus b/c he is consistent yet keeps me on my toes. he is very generous. i love him b/c he disciplines me and doesn’t let me stay the same. but in the same breath- i love that he loves me the way i am... i love him b/c he is smart and strong. i love him b/c he is good and gentle. i love him b/c he forgives me and always takes me back. i love him b/c he listens to me and lets me talk his ear off. i love him b/c he sees me. i love him b/c he makes me discontent when i should be b/c i’m settling for second rate stuff. i love him b/c he gives hope. i love him b/c he loves me. i could really go on and on.


* this is not meant to sound elitist. i always thought about being a christian just like i think about being irish. this point of decision for me was a decision to recognize that christianity is not like ethnicity- but instead a decision each of us are free to make. so by real- i mean that it was my intentional choice to follow jesus.

i am severley bummed out...
everytime my front page loads-
the number goes up.
did you know that indonesia has the largest population of muslims in the world?
ughh. i have a chronic lump in throat.

it is hard to write about much else.
these things bring things and the mundane into focus.

mercy.

a prayer for the dead
from maureen

please Lord- have mercy.
preserve life.
bring life to these lands.
bring hope to these lands
bring comfort to these lands
and the dear people there.
please Lord- have mercy.

+++
chewable vitamin

a prayer for the dead
from the celtic book of prayer

"God, omit not this woman and man from Your covenanat.
The many evils that in this life he r shee has committed
they cannot count or list this night.
Gather this soul with your own arm, o Christ,
great King of the City of Heaven.

it is Your work, O Christ
the buying of the soul
at the time of the balancing of the beam
at the timeof bringing of judgement.
be this sould hidden in your right hand."

anguish

really really takes the wind out of you...

read more here...

and here.

i mean- can you imagine?

today's chewable vitamin...

this night is the long night
when those who listen await His cry.

this night is the eve of the great nativity
when those who are longing await His appearing.

wait, with watchful heart.

listen carefully, through the stillness;
listen, hear the telling of the waves upon the shore.

listen, hear the song of the angels glorious-
e're (huh?) lon it will be heard
that His foot reached the earth:
news that Glory has come!

truly His slavation is near
for those who fear Him,
and His glory shall dwell in our land.

watch and pray, the Lord shall dwell in our land.

those who are longing await his appearing.

those who listen await His cry.

watch..."

~taken from the celtic book of prayer

in celebration of charles

well- he's 35 yrs old. we celebrated last night in a number of ways. we went to dinner and a movie (courtesy of a nice gift certificate i recieved from work); and i gave him a pimped out lexus remote control car.

it's worth mentioning that charles proves the passage in ephesians 3**- that a life spent w/ Jesus will blow your mind and all your expectations. i wasn't really sure that i would get married. it certainly wasn't that i didn't want to be married. i wanted to be married. really really bad. but i resigned that i would not be married. to deal with it i just tried to not feel dissappointed. it takes a lot of effort to try to not feel. i would bouts where i knew it wasn't good for me to 'try to not feel' and i would interact with the Lord and tell Him about my dissappointed. but in large part i just tried to kill off the feelings of dissappointed.

loving charles and being loved by him has awakened my heart from hibernation. it has been a beuatiful thing to watch and even better to be a part of. i am so incredibly glad i married him. he is my better in just about every way there is...

here are 35 reasons i love charles (from the silly to the significant)...

1. how he loves me even when i'm dumb.
2. how he does his chores and sings.
3. how he forgives me.
4. how he is an immigrant that loves america and is grateful all the opportunities it affords him without buying all the american bullshit.
5. how he shows me what it means to have a joyful spirit.
6. how he doesn't agree with everything i say.
7. his love of pop music... including but not limited to- celiene dion, whitney houston and all things lional richie.
8. his love for academia and thinking.
9. he doesn't try to prove himself. he is comfortable with how God has made him.
10. he doesn't follow the crowd.
11. he helps me remember to confess my sin. sometimes i forget to.
12. how my fiesty niece will only listen to and obey him when surrounded by extended family.
13. he told me that i needed to recommit my life to Christ once... and he was right.
14. he sings 'a whole new world' to me often.
15. he gives most of his money away.
16. his smile.
17. sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night and he is praying over me.
18. how he reads with a dictionary.
19. how he talks about his mom with so much respect.
20. his outlook is so loaded. it matches deep wisdom with simplicity in a way i've never seen.
21. he dances for me.
22. he wakes me up from bad dreams.
23. he wants to change the world- and i actually think he may.
24. how he wants to talk to my mom whenever i'm talking to her.
25. he has many reasons to be jaded about the world and people- but is not.
26. how he calls my mom- mum with his great british/ african accent.
27. how teachable he is.
28. how his default african country for someone's nationality is namibia.
29. how much i genuienly and deeply respect him and his life expereince.
30. how he is learning about aa to understand me better.
31. how he says 'this thing' when he can't think of the word.
32. how often he beats me at scrabble.
33. how he is teaching me igbou.
34. how committed to intercession he is...
35. his cute butt!

14 For this reason I kneel before the Father, 15 from whom his whole family[a] in heaven and on earth derives its name. 16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge–that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 t o him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

~ ephesians 3.14-21

+++

today's chewable vitamin

O Rising Sun,
You are the splendour of eternal light
and the sun of justice.
o come and enlighten those who sit in darkness
and in the shadow of death.

~ taken from the celtic book of prayer

within the month...

i will be writing about a number of things. here are some:

:: why i love jesus.
:: my annual state of my union address.
:: a celebration of the life and times of charles obugo okonkwo.
:: what i learned in 2004
:: a mondo beyondo list

and more... stay tuned.

in other news- we had a house guest this weekend and i cracked my tailbone which is to say the very very least- a pain in my ass.

other than that we're making fires, and trying to fend off the cold with a myraid of busy work around the house. we have two birthday's in our family this week. i will tell you more about them when i post next.

i know that many of you have written to ask if i think donald rumsfeld should resign**- i will give you my answer. YES. he a crazy mofo. four more wars!!

a shout out to chris- his birthday is today and we love him.

** this is a fabrication.

these have been added since i posted this...

+++

chewable vitamin:

o Stock of Jesse,
You stand as a signal for the nations.
Kings fall silent before You whome the peoples acclaim.
o come to deliver us, and do no delay.

O come, Thou key of David, come,
and open wide our heavenly home;
make safe the way that leads on high,
and close the path to misery:

Rejoice! Rejoice! Immanuel
shall come to thee, O Israel.

today's chewable vitamin

"God of the watching ones,
give us your benediction

God of the waiting ones,
give us Your good word for our souls.

god of the watching ones,
the waiting ones,
the slow and suffering ones,
give us Your benediction,
Your good word for our souls,
that we might rest.

God of the watching ones,
the waiting ones,
the slow and suffering ones,

and of the angels in heaven,
and of the child in the womb,

give us Your benediction,
Your good word for our souls,
that we might rest and rise
in the Kindness of your company."

~taken from the celtic book of prayer

**tommorrow and tommorrow and tommorrow...

charles is off shooting a gun with a guy from kinship (at a shooting range). he was as giddie as a school girl about the whole thing. i hope it's not anti-climatic for him.

i was thinking of going upto church for this women's ministry thingy- but i will get there so late- i think i've decided to bag it for the night after i'm done.

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if you haven't ever treated yourself to a visit to real live preacher- go immediately. it's for your own good. for a special treat-read his series of stories written last advent about Jesus and all the adversity surrounding his arrival and how He came to save us. you can find it here.

and- i know it's a little late but i thought i'd post a compulation of on-line advent calenders...

not so aesthetic
a fun drawing
stained glass windows

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** the only shakespearian soliloquy i remember.

today's chewable vitamin
46 And Mary said: “My soul glorifies the Lord 47 and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
48 for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant. From now on all generations will call me blessed,
49 for the Mighty One has done great things for me– holy is his name.
50 His mercy extends to those who fear him, from generation to generation.
51 He has performed mighty deeds with his arm; he has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts.
52 He has brought down rulers from their thrones but has lifted up the humble.
53 He has filled the hungry with good things but has sent the rich away empty.
54 He has helped his servant Israel, remembering to be merciful
55 to Abraham and his descendants forever, even as he said to our fathers.”
~ luke 1.48-55

life and death

what a header huh?

well with the season and all- i've been thinking about life and how great it is to be able to celebrate the birth of my main man Jesus. this weekend i was able to think about death a little bit too. it is a good occasional practice for me and helps me to remember that i need to carpe diem and all that stuff.

what brought it to mind was going to pray for one of charles' new found friend who is dying. we had a nice time being together and it reminds me that i need to pray for the sick as often as the occasion presents itself. if nothing else- it helps me align what i say is important to me- and what i prove to be important to me.

as we were praying for bob (the man's name- if you'd like to pray for him); i cried. charles later inquired about why i got teary (b/c i only met this guy once). i tried to explain that it was probably mixture of sadness to see someone deteriorate so quickly (i only met him three weeks ago and he looked like a regular old man- and now he is merely a shell); that maybe it was the Holy Spirit's presence; or that i reminds me of my own father's death. i wasn't sure.

charles began to remind me the bitter SWEETNESS of death is for those that follow Jesus. he told me about the practice of his people group in nigeria. i thought i'd share a bit about it here. it was quite inspiring for me to hear. in part b/c i think 3/4 of everything my husbands says is brilliant and in part b/c we americans (imho) suffer the effects of lots of stoicim and control over our emotions for fear that they get the best of us or get messy.

in igbouland (south eastern nigeria) if charles' father were to die- charles buddies from childhood would travel from wherever they are in nigeria to be with charles and his family (this would be the case for the eldest son- which is charles). charles' family would be the guest of honor at a party that would last all week.

each day, charles and his friends would dance with lots of vigor (he promises to show me this dance but assures me i will be taken aback at how vigorous it is) and run around the villiage (that is the villiage that his dad grew up in and that charles' family would visit every summer from lagos where charles grew up). they would have a big picture of patrick (my father in law) and run around and charles would shout "THIS IS MY FATHER! THIS IS MY FATHER!".

they would eat lots of food (rice and stew) and cry and wail and tell stories about patrick.

this ritual is practiced every five years in commemoration of the death as long as the family wants to host it. charles ended his description of the ritual by saying, "it's the most beautiful practice my people have".

wow. for whatever reason i was so- i don't know- stunned- by this description. i think we would do well to learn from it. what stunned me most is that it continues at five year intervals. when i think about my dad's passing- i know that the acuteness of the pain i experienced watching him die- and his absence- has subsided quite a bit. i pray that i got the most out of that pain that i could... but somehow it does seem important to have a time to say- 'it still hurts, we still miss him!'

and how does this translate to all the advent that my devotional life has been consumed with you ask? well i guess i'm just really smitten with the baby Jesus! while this isn't novel to people that know the Story of Redemption; Christmas is special to us christians not simply b/c it celebrates the birth of Jesus. Christmas is special b/c the incarnation was instrumental in the Blueprint. Jesus was born so that He could live a sinless life; but ultimately- His entrance was to come to earth and be put to death. to die a wrongful death so i could be right with God.
that- my friends is blowing my mind today.

in tranditional/ liturgical settings it is common to have a potion of the eucharist meal repeated by congregants. it rings through my ears today "we celebrate his death until his coming".
perhaps i would benefit from running around a bit more and yelling,
"THIS IS MY FATHER! THIS IS MY FATHER!".

chewable vitamin:

"Lord Jesus,
Master of both the light and the darkness,
send your Holy Spirit upon our preparations for Christmas.
we who have so much to do seek quiet spaces
to hear Your voice each day.
we who are anxious over many things
look forward to Your coming among us.
we who are blessed in so many ways
long for the complete joy of Your kingdom.
we whose hearts are heavy seek the joy of Your presence."
~ henri nowen

for advent...
chewable vitamin:

R: Our God will come to save us!

I will hear what God proclaims; the LORD –
for he proclaims peace to his people.
Near indeed is his salvation to those who fear him, glory dwelling in our land.

R: Our God will come to save us!

Kindness and truth shall meet; justice and peace shall kiss.
Truth shall spring out of the earth, and justice shall look down from heaven.

R: Our God will come to save us!

The LORD himself will give his benefits; our land shall yield its increase.
Justice shall walk before him, and salvation, along the way of his steps.

R: Our God will come to save us!

read isaiah 35.1-10

ok my peeps

two things to blog about today.
both- pretty much meaningless.

1. my pinky is claustrophobic in my new hobo gloves.

has anyone else expereinced that?

2. things that keep me humble:
(in a not taking myself too seriously kinda way)

a car that blows her horn sporadically, randomlly, and involentarily.

has anyone else expereinced that?

tata for now.